15 signs you are actually a granny mum

angry old woman with hands on her hips, isolated on white

I had a shocking revelation the other night…I have not just become a mum…but I also seem to be edging very steadily into becoming a granny! I wondered whether my mind was just playing tricks on me…I mean, surely I have a good 30 years or so before I actually become a granny? But no, I took stock, and there, lurking underneath, fuelled by parenthood, seemed to be some definite signs of granny-dom. Do you think you could be turning into a granny mum? See how many of the following you nod along with to know the real granny mum truth….

  1. You’re always complaining about being cold – you wear a coat when others are prancing around in a t-shirt
  2. The last pair of shoes you bought had nothing to do with aesthetics and everything to do with practicality. Arch support is your new best friend
  3. You have spotted the occasional rogue hairs growing out of your cheek or chin…obviously you quickly remove the evidence!
  4. You have finally faced the truth – you can not read without glasses. Your eyes feel the strain as your optical muscles have already begun withering away…
  5. You do not think twice anymore about wearing an anorak when it’s raining
  6. You wouldn’t dream of having a shower without a shower cap
  7. You use a paper calendar and your brain literally fries at the idea of e-appointments
  8. Your radio station of choice in the morning is Classical FM – oh so civilized!
  9. Your favourite hang out is the garden centre – oh just look at those lovely Fuchsias!
  10. You dream of being able to do a crossword on the loo
  11. You rather envy those pull along shopping trolleys – just imagine being able to cart around all your stuff on that rather than your good self!
  12. You wear socks in bed….mmmm sexy!
  13. You wear knitted slippers that would make your grandma proud…
  14. You couldn’t think of anything worse than going to a nightclub with all that loud noise and those sweaty people
  15. Your idea of a perfect night is being in bed at 8.30pm

So hands up, any other granny mums out there? Do me a favour and let me know I’m not alone here…

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My Kid Doesn't Poop Rainbows



  1. 6 out of 15 so far. Still got a ways to go. I’m escaping a few more only because I live in Thailand though 🙂

    Thanks so much for linking up to #fartglitter x

    • The amount of times my other half has caught me with the shower cap on…but now thankfully he is like a grandpa as he has started using it too bahahah! x

    • I heard that you can now paint and/or spray your hair??…not sure if your hair is beyond that but I am so going to be checking that out! x

  2. You are definitely not alone! I have a hair that grows out of my neck. MY NECK, for God’s sake. Obviously I hide the evidence, but every now and again it springs back, literally overnight. The rot is setting in.

  3. Ohh 0 out of 15..yay, I am not a granny mum. Although, I do love knitting and recently watched a BBC series presented by Gareth Malone, does this mean it won’t be long before I enter granny dom? I am only 24 so I hope not 🙂 xx #TwinklyTuesday

  4. Quite proud of my non granny status for the most part (after all I was clubbing away til 2am last Saturday) BUT I am guilty of a few including the socks and knitted slippers! 4) I’ve been wearing glasses/contacts since the age of 8 but now I can’t read the print on anything. My hubby’s eyesight is finally going down the tube. Trying to read something passing it between each other; it’s like the blind leading the blind. 8) Leave Classic FM alone sista! I was listening to it in my early 30’s ha ha. Had such a stressful job I needed their relaxing classics show to calm me down in the evenings. 9) made me laugh. And 11) dear oh dear…I’ve considered it!! Thanks for linking to #BabyBrainMonday

    • I reckon you’ll never be a real granny and even if you are you’ll be one of those seriously funky grannies everyone wants to have one of! x

  5. I can relate to so many of these, especially the practical shoes! Oh, and to make it worse, I find a new gray hair nearly every day. Now I feel like I’m looking and feeling old… You are definitely not alone though in being slightly more granny than mom. #fartglitter

  6. So strange that you mention paper calendars, I have totally started doing that since I had a baby. If it’s not on THE calendar I won’t get it done – electronic calendars are just no good to me any more. I was only thinking the other day that it was a bit of a strange habit I’d gotten into, so I’m glad to hear I’m not alone! #coolmumclub

  7. I admit it I am 3,4,5 & 9. And I have a shopping trolley, it’s very handy especially on days out as I no longer have a pram to dump all the crap in. Shit! I am granny mum. Off to the garden centre now. Loved this it really tickled me. Thanks for hosting #coolmumclub I’ll be back (in Arnie voice).

  8. Paper calendars! Yes! My husband told me I’m the only one who still uses them… I’m showing this to him. And oh my goodness bed at 8.30. Living. The. Dream. The grannification has well and truly begun for me. But you host #coolmumclub so you’re still officially cool. 🙂

    • No no definitely not…I have a massive family calendar hanging off my fridge…if that’s not granny I don’t know what is! Not sure I should be allowed in the #coolmumclub now I’ve fessed up to that haha x

  9. Ha ha! Some of those are definitely ringing bells in my head! (Who doesn’t want to keep their feet warm in bed once the winter sets in?!) xx

  10. I got 5 out of 12 of those! LOL! As I get older I do notice that in certain situations, especially lately, I have been calling myself old-fashioned a lot and that makes me feel old. Great Post! Visiting from #coolmumclub

  11. Oh dear. I am a granny mum. I constantly wear a fleece. (grimace) Granted I live in the middle of nowhere. When the husband is away, which is a lot of the time, I am in bed by 8ish… I love it, I read, watch telly, eat stuff. I have two hairs that grow out of my jaw line. I am horrified.
    Great post!

  12. Based on your list, I qualified as a granny before I even made it as a parent (and i was a young mum). I have never liked nightclubs, always been cold, always loved garden centres, have a bit of a thing for crochet. and an over developed love of my bed!!
    but shower caps, whats all that about??

  13. Lol, I can identify with a couple of these – have no desire to ever step foot in a nightclub again and comfort and practicality are the two most important things when buying new shoes. I’ve recently cleared out my shoe collection and taken nearly all my pretty heels to the charity shop as I know I will never wear them again. And those wheeled shopping bags make life so much easier – at the moment the buggy works well for carrying shopping but I have warned hubby that once we’ve finished with the buggy, I’ll probably end up buying a wheeled shopping bag! Thanks for hosting #coolmumclub 🙂

  14. I am totally on my way there! Not quite doing half of them but I have the best pair of knitted slippers and if I ever set foot in a nightclub again it will be too soon! #abitofeverything

  15. Haha I counted 5 out of 15, so I’m not quite there yet! Although I do describe some of the music on the radio as a ‘racket’ which I think adds at least 3 more points! I’m so with you on the granny slippers and practical shoes too #coolmumclub

  16. Haha!!!!! Yes to most of them!! And does it make me officially a granny that I don’t even care??! I constantly have to scour my chin for witch hairs, and my heels are gathering dust in a cupboard somewhere… I just can’t walk in those things anymore!! Great post!

  17. Haha brilliant… Or not so brilliant really, I agreed with a few too many of those for my liking. Slippers, anoraks, 8.30,… I probably am saved from a couple as I’m from Scotland, so it’s never as cold down here in England hehehe 🙂 #coolmumclub

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