Remember the days before you became a parent when you swore you’d never sound like your mum or dad, or when you promised you’d never be THAT parent in the flushes of new parenthood. Well, as we all know, the best laid plans go to pot and help us know that we are not alone in the total demise of intentions, I thought it would all make us feel a hell of a lot better to lay down 20 things parents swore they would never say, which now trip off the tongue wayyyy to easily, as fessed up by fab fellow parenting bloggers. See how many you’ve been guilty of letting slip out more times than you care to remember (my score: 20/20).
The one about technology
“Here – have the iPad. I need 5 minutes to myself. ” Never thought I’d be THAT parent but I am! – The Unsung Mum
The empty threats
“If you do that one more time” after one of my little ones has done it about 10 times! – The Parenting Trials
The good cop bad cop
“Do you want me to tell daddy on you? No? Well stop it then!” – A Slice of My Life Wales
The one about facial-hygiene
“Come here while I clean your face” whilst spiting on hanky…Yorkshire Wonders
The total autocrat
“Because I said so!”- Little Lily Pad
The chicken nugget pusher
“Do you want chicken nuggets for your tea?” – Rockandrollpussycat.co.uk
The Santa threaten-er
“I’ll ring Father Christmas!!!”…. (in June!!) – Real Mum Review
The scene stealer
“I’ll take it away if you carry on been naughty” – The Chesire Wife
The old saying wheeler
“Wash behind your ears of you’ll grow potatoes behind there’ … “Actually channeling my Mum now and my daughter is only 4 months. Oops! – Fizzy Peaches
And the old wives teller
“Put some clothes on otherwise you’ll catch your death” I literally turn into my Mum as I say those words…..! – Hannah Spannah
What does that mean anyway?!
“Do you live in a barn?” when my son doesn’t shut the door after himself – I sound just like my Dad!!! – Five Little Doves
The fear-mongerer
“Your eyes will turn square if you get any closer to the tv” – 3girlsmummy.co.uk
The sweet sell out
“Yes, just eat the sodding sweets” – the joys of grandparents sending home giant bags of Haribo – chammyirl.co.uk
The no no no-er
“No!” I promised myself, as we’re mostly a baby-led gentle parenting family, that I would find gentle alternatives to the word no. It just comes out! I’m struggling to find alternatives to no… but we do also explain to her why she can’t do something. – Tattooed Tea Lady
The TV touter
“Yes you can watch more tv.” I thought I’d be a craft goddess but actually, crafting with kids is a massive hassle and they are only bothered for such a short time it hardly seems worth it! – Pink Pear Bear
The toy torturer
“If you don’t tidy up your toys I’ll just throw them in the bin!” – my goodness I’m SO my own mother! – Emily and Indiana
The back in my day dreamer
“We didn’t have that in my day, you don’t know how lucky you are. We lived without google! Can you imagine?” – Susan K Mann
The serious excuse pedeller
“I can’t come and play at the moment darling – I’ve got a bone in my leg” 😂The boys just accept it – as I did, with ‘ah OK mummy’ – The Twinkle Diaries
The tantrum (un)-tamer
“Oh my goodness shut the f*** up” under my breath and out of ear shot as the piercing scream goes out across the supermarket. Cringe. Now now darling could you please be quiet… said so the little darling can hear it. – Mummy In a Tutu
The one where you sound like grandma
The other day my 6 year complained that he hated school and wanted to be a dinosaur instead. Before I realised, “School is the best time of your life” slipped out of my mouth. That was the day I turned into my grandmother. Shame.” – The Parenting Jungle
So fess up! how many of these have been known to trip off your tongue – scores out of 20 please in a comment below! For more musings on the things we thought would never happen before we became parents check out this post on things you take for granted before becoming a parent and one of my favourites – life before and after motherhood (20 ways your life changes).
Picture credit: Designed by Freepik
I’ve already done loads that I said I would never do and Erin is only 18m old
I think parents always think they’ll be a particular way but things change when you actually have kids x
Nodding my head to many of these
Hahaha!!!! I have loved reading through these Talya!! And finally — my dad’s excuse for not playing with my sister and me is now on the internet forever!!
Can’t believe I’m saying the same thing to my own boys now! Haha!! I bet everything I own that they’ll say it to their own children!! 😉
Haha so many of them resonate with me! And I’ve uttered quite a few. The one I use quite often is “God gave you legs, use them!”
I think I am guilty of most of these, I also remember seeing a mother in a supermarket bribing her child with sweets and thinking to myself that I will never do that when I have children!
Ha ha so so true. I’m guilty of every one of the above. I read this nodding along to them all! Kate http://www.fivelittlestars.com
That really made me laugh, especially the one about the bone in the leg! I recognise a lot of these from our house.
Haha! Brilliant. I can relate to so many of these. No doubt I will say a few more as my boys grow older 🙂 x
ha I most definitely said pretty much all of these before i had kids lol x
Such a great list. It is speaking the reality. I was thinking like–“Hey, I have said the exact thing in the past.”
Haha, this is brilliant! I used to use the toy one a lot when the girls were little #coolmumclub x
This is brilliant! I think I almost scored a top 20 out of 20! The wiping my kids’ faces with my own gob – now that’s just disgusting and I used to HATE it, but I now find myself doing it! The no TV, no ipad, no screens at all, well that’s totally gone out of the window. And the chicken nugget pusher – hilarious. #coolmumclub
Haha, I was a 9/20 but that’s only because some of these phrases would be lost on my 2 year old. Give it another 12 – 18 months and I’m sure I’ll be at a solid 15+.
Also, the “bone in my leg” comment made me laugh out loud because my dad ALWAYS said that. I thought it was just him so amuses me that other people say that 🙂
#CoolMumClub
This is so funny. I particularly like the one about not being able to play because I have a bone in my leg. Will have to try that one in future!
lol I have said so many of these. It’s crazy, I’ve turned into my parents. Thanks for including me xx
Pretty sure I’ve ticked all of the above off 🙂 I was such a great parent, before I had kids!! 🙂 🙂 #coolmumclub
Okay I’m adding mine…pulled out of the bag this week when my five year old pulled an angry face at me…
“If the wind changes, your face will stay like that forever”.
OMG I am my Mum.
#CoolMumClub xx
I love this, it’s so true. I’ve done all of them! Parenting was so easy before I had an actual child
#coolmumclub
Guilty as charged! We all have, as my Dad says, “shining moments in parenting!” #coolmumclub
Hahahahah I am forever giving my kids a spit wash! I also give them screen time so I can quietly enjoy Neighbours in peace!
#coolmumclub
Chicken nugget pusher? ? My post says it all #coolmumclub
Scored 16 🙁 the problem of turning into my mum was highlighted here, thanks a bunch! #coolmumclub
Loved this Talya! I pretty much use everyone one of them but my most common one is “why don’t you look up from the two-inch screen?” Er…Excuse me? I don’t even know how big 2 inches is. I only know cms..!
#coolmumclub
Howled at “I can’t come and play at the moment darling – I’ve got a bone in my leg”. I’m so going to try this. Never thought I’d be one for the “spit-wash” but sometimes needs must! Brilliant collection. Thanks for hosting #coolmumclub xx
I know this all to well! Never did I think I would imagine myself saying to my toddler, to stop putting makeup on the cat lol!
Yes to some of these. Think I say more of them to the youngest diva. #coolmumclub
Hahaha I think this is my biggest learning curve since becoming a parent – I literally do all the things I never thought I would. Our pre-children selves could be so judgey #coolmumclub
I have said so much that I swore id never say. considering he’s only just one I dread to think of what ill come out with next! #coolmumclub
Ohhhhhh I think this may be my new MTRD fave. The potatoes and the ‘sodding sweets’. Oh Jeez I literally snorted so hard. Too good! #coolmumclub
I’m up to 14 and River is only 2!
My personal fav line is ‘if you go to sleep straight away I promise we’ll do something really fun tomorrow’. Every single night! Oops.
Great post x x x