What does a mum really want for Valentine’s Day? You might be scratching your head, and tearing your hear out about what to get the lady of your life, what could possibly satisfy her??! but the answers are actually simpler than you think. Here are eight things I reckon most mums would be pretty chuffed to be given this Valentine’s Day aka. 8 things mums really want for Valentine’s Day.
Not just sexy underwear, but a bra that actually fits her shrivelled three -sizes-down boobs post-baby. Oh and a magic wand to leave us looking something like this when we’re in it.
2. A lie in
And not with “something” pressing against her back whilst doing so. A proper lie in, with nobody bothering her, at all.
Don’t bother with a fancy bottle. What we really want is wine on tap, so we can literally plug in and play. Preferably something that looks as ridiculous as this. Yum.
Not some rubbish Milk Tray. We want full on orgasmic chocolates please. You know, the artisan kind.
You don’t need to bother even taking us out for dinner…literally just cook it all and do all the washing up…preferably with a butler that looks like this thrown into the mix.
Not “quick they are about to wake up” sex or “urgh! my belly is too full from dinner” sex. But proper long drawn out languorous sex – with a full prelude of foreplay please.
Don’t bother buying us any. We have serious brown thumb. We need an in-house florist who will actually be able to provide us with flowers and then keep them alive!
8. Some quality time
With herself. Not her loved one. Not her kids. Just her. Preferably in a swanky hotel room somewhere with some noise cancelling headphones or on top of a mountain like this.
Do you think maybe someone could just get it right this Valentine’s Day?
Anything else you would add to this list?