Welcome to the 41st edition of the #beingamother project. I am really excited for this week’s issue – because it’s an aspect of being a mother we haven’t yet touched on in this series – that of being a stepmum. Today we have Kristen who blogs over on Blue Faced Momma talking about what motherhood means as a step mumma, and it is just lovely…..
#Beingamother project issue 41: What motherhood means to Blue Faced Momma
“Being a mother.” To most, being a mother comes in various stages. The “finding out your pregnant” stage, the “being pregnant” stage, the “giving birth” stage…but I was a mother who never experienced those stages.
I am not a conventional mother. I am the step mother to a 3-year-old boy, little E. I didn’t get to experience the excitement of finding out I was pregnant with him. I didn’t get to experience the feeling of carrying him for 9 months. I didn’t get to experience the painstaking birth process. Instead I experienced holding him in my arms.
Here I am, a few weeks into dating my boyfriend (now husband), and I find out he has a son. I remember being scared when he told me he had a son. I was especially scared when I found out his son was a week old! We had just started dating, what in the world was I going to do now?!
I was 21 at the time and remember having the world at my feet. Was I ready to be a mom? Was I going to be able to care for another woman’s child? Was I really ready for that kind of commitment to this man, let alone his newborn baby?
So I talked to him about my fears, about how much I really liked him, how much that scared me, and he asked me to meet his son. I remember sitting there terrified on the couch as he put his son in my arms. Once I was all settled, I sat there and stared at him in awe. I was in awe of this precious little bundle of joy, snuggled against my chest. My heart instantly started to swell, and it was at that moment I experience a love I have never felt before. I felt a love for him as if he were my own.
Many mother’s along the way have told me that I am not a mother at all. I disagree.
There was a season in our life last year that my husband worked out-of-town for 6 months during the week. At this time I was working full-time and going to school full-time, yet I still took care of little E when we had him on our time. I was the full-time parent then. How many women can say that they would be able to do the same thing for a child that wasn’t “biologically theirs.”
Many mother’s along the way have told me that my love for him is different from that of theirs.
I have loved little E since day one, as if he were my own. Some stepmother’s do not treat their children as their own, but I do. I have never once thought “well he’s not my child” because he is. Until you can feel the same way as I do, do you really know the extent of my love?
Being a mother to me is loving a child like they are your own; unconditionally.
Being a mother to me is working day in and day out so that you can give that child everything they deserve and more.
Being a mother to me is being there, no matter what the cost, for them.
Being a mother to me is making sure you do EVERY SINGLE thing you can to make sure that they is happy and well taken care of.
Being a mother is putting then first. Before myself, my husband, my job. Everything.
I am a mother. An unconventional one, but still a mother. And little E is my son. That is something that will never change. That is being a mother.
Read more from Blue Faced Momma on the blog here and connect on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest.
Read previous issues of the #beingamother project here.