Welcome back to the #beingamother project! In this issue on our quest to define what motherhood means to all of us in this big sticky mess together, I turn to Ursula who blogs over at Mumbelievable, to take the floor with her meaning of motherhood….
To me, being a mother means…
You’ll find strength when you feel the weakest you’ve ever felt.
You’ll be made to laugh on the darkest of days.
You’ll come to understand the meaning of ‘bursting with pride’.
You’ll be liberated from all the self-indulgence of being a woman in the 21st century and you won’t time to make sure everything is perfect – nor will you care because that stuff pales into insignificance compared to the most important job you’ve been entrusted with in raising your precious human.
You’ll understand the depth of what your own parents did for you, what they went through to raise you, and it will change your relationship with them and how you see them forever.
Being a mother is like getting the toughest job in the world with no interview or training. It’s like showing up for a complex space mission and being expected to know what you’re doing but instead you’re clueless, daunted and overwhelmed.
It’s feeling on the back foot – permanently.
It’s loving so hard and so much that you marvel at your heart’s capacity.
It’s worrying about things you didn’t even know existed and learning to live with the deep-down panic that now resides permanently in the pit of your stomach that you’ll miss something crucial or do something wrong because you care so damn much about their wellbeing.
It’s having to understand how your identity has shifted to make way for a new you – a better version of the you you used to be.
It’s realising that you matter too, even though you feel like it’s selfish to think about yourself any more.
It’s fighting for everything on their behalf, with every breath in your body, to make sure they get what they deserve.
It’s seeing the world through their eyes and finding the extraordinary beauty in the simple things that they notice, which grown-ups never do. It’s taking a leaf out of their book and evolving the way you look at the world because they’ve taught you an infinitely better way.
It’s pure joy and a battlefield, within the space of a few minutes.
Being a mother is the single biggest privilege of my life.
Ursula Tavender – AKA Mumbelievable – is a blogger and freelance PR from Hampshire. She set up her blog and Facebook community in 2015 to support and empower mums to rebuild their confidence and reconnect with themselves, after her own confidence took a nose-dive when she became a mum. Now on a mission to help as many women in the same position as possible, Ursula is getting ready to launch confidence workshops for mums heading back to work after having children. Read more from Mumbelievable on the blog here and connect on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.