If you were one of those people who needed to “get it all out of my system first” before embarking on motherhood, much like myself, then it’s likely that you might have been slightly at odds with your new motherly self.
Suddenly you’re slap bang in the middle of a dramatic transformation from a bar-loving, outfit-angsting, social diva with too many friends to keep up with; to a milk-oozing, in bed-by-9pm, fleece-wearing, greasy-haired monkey whose friends can now be counted on one – or two if you’re lucky – hands. But thankfully you are too tired to give much of a crap about that.
Mums-to-be who have visions of being that boho mummy who has her bubs discretely feeding in a sling whilst you groove to the sounds as you festival hop your way through summer – well I think I know of one or perhaps two people at a push who managed to pull that one off – and hats off to you! Oh and then there’s the other neigh impossible notion that you’ll be able to happily work from home or carry on with whatever you have dreams of doing as your little one happily plays beside you – again, a toughie.
Suddenly the idea of doing anything after 6pm apart from trying to catch up on some zzzzs or making batch becomes the most brain-crushing notion. Apart from your new sleep obsessed state, fuelled mainly by the lack of it and other relentless domestic and baby fuelled demands, your social life is in a desperate state and in dire need of resurrection. You begin to feel like the biggest flake on earth.
As you try to get to grips with this new state of play, the gap between fellow mums and those still living the free and easy dream becomes a huge expanse, as apparently neither of you understand each other any more. It’s a bit like that horrible drifting feeling before a sad break up.
And then there’s the other part where you’re still supposed to be that foxy lady to your better half when a) you’re beyond harassed when he gets home from work b) you’re too worn out to remember where your nether region is anyway and c) quality “couple” time has dropped to below zero as the mummy and daddy roles reign supreme. Soon you’ll be found mostly scheming at how you might get just a few hours a week in just the two of you so you can remember who you both actually are as a couple.
But there’s good news, things do take a turn later on as sleep becomes more bountiful (well, comparatively) and you finally emerge through the woods into your newfound self. Though the flippant youthful you is but a twinkle in your eye, you wriggle your way out of your chrysalis with not only just a few grey hairs for your trouble, but also a more confident, self-assured if slightly weary, new you who you realise, hasn’t really missed out on all that much anyway ;-).