How to fix your sex life after kids: 2023 guide

sex life after kids
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Today we’re going to start a very honest conversation around your sex life after kids. Having a kid is one of life’s most amazing experiences, and nothing compares to the sensation of holding your young one of those in your arms for the first time, hearing them say their first words, and seeing them take thier first steps. If you have children, though, you are well aware that your tiny bundle of joy may put a damper on your sex life.

Parents reported a 47 percent reduction in sexual frequency on average after having kids. Evolutionary psychologists believe that our loss of libido is due to a biological cause. In some respects, sexual desire is our minds method of convincing us that we need to have intercourse in order to reproduce. Our brains are unconcerned with getting some after we’ve fulfilled our biological responsibility, allowing us to devote our whole attention to caring for our babies.

Here are some tips to help you reclaim your sex life after kids

Take ‘vacations’ of two hours

Getting some assistance [with the kids] is the greatest suggestion for restoring your libido. You may hire a babysitter, nurse, or enlist the help of your mother, relatives, friends, or neighbours to look after the children.

Furthermore, having less free time and having more responsibilities may put sex on the back burner. Even a two-hour vacation may make a world of difference. It’s brief enough so that the kids can go without milk or formula, but the two hours makes a tremendous emotional and psychological impact for the parents.”

Close the door

67 % of parents said they locked their doors when they have sex when their children are awake, which is a good thing when it comes to your sex life after kids since 15% claimed their children had walked in on them while they were getting intimate. While it may be tempting to yell at them to go, experts warn that this may be psychologically damaging, so collect yourself and gently explain what they witnessed in an age-appropriate manner.

Sex in the shower

If you wanted to have sex when the kids are awake, you’ll probably do it in the shower or the bathroom as this seems to be one of the safest places to rekindle your sex life after kids without being interrupted. Shower sex may be a lot of fun, but it also requires a lot of effort. It’s also one of the most enjoyable aspects of your sex life.

Once a week is a good goal

According to a long-term study of over 30,000 individuals, couples who have sex only once a week are the happiest. That seems like a good goal to work towards in your sex life after kids.

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Go naked

Being naked is seductive, even if you’re not feeling very attractive. A combined shower, a game of strip poker, a candlelit tub, or skin-on-skin spooning are among the best suggestions. Slide between the sheets without the skivvies if you don’t have any sex plans. You may fall asleep straight immediately, in which case you’ll have a wonderful, restful night’s sleep. Alternatively, you may feel compelled to go further.

Switch things up

Make it up as you go along. Many parents are hesitant to engage in sexual activity, but once they do, they are glad they did. This is a good time to try something new. Maybe your sex life after kids sees the introduction of dildos in for some foreplay, watch something erotic together or try strapons. But remember, whatever you try, you need to both be open to it and so an exploratory discussion beforehand (see our point below on communication) is vital if you want to try new things out.

Prioritize

When your mind is occupied with everything except romance, how can you expect to think about it? You should really consider arranging sex if you are serious about rebooting your sex life after kids. And that means you’ll have to let go of some of the other activities you had planned for the day.

Talk to your spouse and try to discover methods to make your childcare duties more balanced. This may be tough, particularly for couples who have settled into a pattern (e.g., one watches TV while the other cooks or cleans), even if it isn’t working for both of them.

Communicate

Don’t make the mistake of assuming you know what your partner is thinking. Nobody can read people’s minds. The greatest aphrodisiac is talking. Couples who are emotionally connected about the changes find it simpler to reconnect sexually.

Parenting stress changes your sexual drive and can provide a major stumbling block in your sex life after kids. This can make your pre-baby sex life seem like another lifetime ago. Instead of focusing on how things were, try to concentrate on how you and your spouse might make your sex life after kids better by making the present more satisfying. You can do it with a little effort.

If you are struggling with your sex life after kids, hang on in there…it does get better with some concerted effort. Hopefully the above suggestions will give you a good basis on which to reignite that fire again.

People photo created by jcomp – www.freepik.com, People photo created by Racool_studio – www.freepik.com, Anna Shvets from Pexels

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