Remember the days when you used to lounge around in bed in the morning, having been woken up naturally at the time your body felt ready (as opposed to frenzied screaming)? You felt relaxed, refreshed, in a rush for nothing. You’d lie there in deliciously snuggled up bliss (or perhaps clutching your head with a hangover) just because you could. Maybe you’d get a bit frisky, or lounge around devouring a book, perhaps munching a spot of breakfast in bed, because it was the weekend.
Ahhh…..such a beautiful scene. It’s so nice to reminisce isn’t it?
Yup, well those days, as all us parents of young’uns know, are well and truly archived for the foreseeable.
But I shall laugh in the face of parental adversity and hereby proclaim that PARENTS! you do not need to feel cheated out of your lie-ins any longer because the reverse lie-in is here to save the day.
The reverse lie-in you say? But what is this magical sounding ritual, I hear you ask…?
Well, for those not already in the know, instead of having your hour lounging around in bed undisturbed having woken up for the day, you simply have that blissful hour before you go to sleep instead.
Now I have to admit, this does mean throwing certain things – mainly any duties you would undertake in the evening – onto the shit heap, but trust me, it’s well worth it, even though it does make you feel like a bit of a granny. But hey, everyone loves a granny!
I have pretty much perfected the art of the reverse lie-in on a nightly basis, and in doing so, have become good friends with my sanity. Here’s how to execute the perfect reverse lie-in, in three easy steps no less:
STEP ONE: As soon as you have cleared up dinner, hotfoot it to the shower or bath for blissful washing without shouting in your ear or nursery rhymes on repeat to infinity.
STEP TWO: En route to bedroom, arm yourself with as many Sunday supplements or books of choice as you can jam into your arms, and if you don’t give a crap about dental hygiene (which by that point in the day, I don’t) your preferred bed munching fodder.
STEP THREE; Hop into bed, breathe a big sigh of relief, fill your mind with preferred mindless drivel, educated opinion or fictional adventures depending on your level of brain function that particular evening, and seize that hour of blissful, peaceful reverse lie-in you are entitled to parents!
OK, so it’s not quite the same as a PROPER lie-in, but most certainly better than a poke in the eye.
So hands up, are you already a reverse lie-in convert?
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