Hello! And welcome to this edition of mum truths where fellow blogging mamas talk honestly about the highs and lows of being a mum. For this edition of mum truths we have Alex from Better Together Home with her mum truths….and so over to you Alex!
Hello! I’m Alex and I blog over at www.bettertogetherhome.com. I am a lover of life, or travel, of food (no surprises there!), of red lipstick, of laughter, of design, of craft beer, of books, of live music, or gin, of exploring and meeting new people, of the seaside, of craftiness, of talking and of writing and of so many other things. I live in London with my little family (one very patient husband and one gorgeous 7 year old daughter) but I’ve left my heart in Scotland *one day I’ll live there!
Sum up being a mum in five words….
Fun. Tired. Privileged. Luck. Pride.
What did you wish you knew before having children?
SO MANY THINGS! That nappies can be explosive, that it will take a while to recover from labour, to stock up on meals that don’t require effort, that your friends will still be there even though you are the only one with a kid, not to worry that you don’t have the ‘mothering instinct’, that you can ask for help, that it really does take a village to raise a child, that your instincts will guide you, that not being able to breastfeed is not the be all and end all #fedisbest. Also people WILL judge you for being a ‘young mum’ but in all honesty their opinion does not matter – you are an amazing mum and that’s what is important not your age!
What has been the hardest thing in motherhood for you?
The ‘mum guilt’. I work full time (actually more hours than full time) and it can be so hard to juggle everything. I’ve missed things that I will never get back – her first steps, school assemblies, school trips etc.
When things get tough in motherhood you……
Turn to my friends, my sisters and the incredibly supportive ‘tribe’ of women who have my back. I also partake in the odd tipple on those days ;).
What do you feel guilty about as mum?
See above – I feel guilty that I have to work so many hours that I miss out on a lot – I’m usually exhausted and Lily misses out because of that. When Lily was born it took over a week for Drs to realise that my body wasn’t producing breast milk – I felt horrendous that I’d essentially starved my newborn child unknowingly, I also felt ‘useless’ and hurt that my body had let me down in such a way.
When was the last time you lost your s*** at your child/children?
Last week – Lily threw a massive wobbly after being told a MILLION times that she couldn’t do something. I’d just worked an 80 hour week, was trying to get the house in order and I just snapped. I felt so guilty afterwards but at the same time I knew I needed to stand my ground.
What makes you feel bad as a mum?
I always worry about whether or not I’m a good mum. I wish I had more money so she could do more after-school and extra-curricular activities. I’m desperate to move out of London but she’s made it very clear that she doesn’t want to – I hope one day, if we do move, she realises that I was thinking about her too when I wanted to move. Also Lily has asked for a baby brother or sister for years but I’m unable to conceive without IVF – I hope she doesn’t grow up to feel like she’s missed out on having a bigger family unit.
And what makes you feel good as a mum?
When we curl up on the sofa watching movies, and when she tells me she LOVES it when I get to drop her to school, the way she loves to read and write, the way she is so kind and caring to people – I’m insanely proud of her.
The universal sods law of being a mum is…..
You’ll always forget about your coffee or tea and end up drinking it cold.