7 types of mums who should know better

mums who should know better

Don’t get me wrong – I am all for sisterhood and making each other’s lives better in this motherhood thing, however I can’t help feeling that are some mums who might not be in the same game, or perhaps they are even on a totally different planet. In fact, this feeling has been sneaking up on me for a while, so it’s time to be out with it because there are some muma who should know better….

1. The mum who makes you feel CRAZYYYYY!


Look you know what? I already feel crazy running around like a hormone crazed headless chicken in this epic parenting palaver, so the last thing I need it you acting like you totally can’t relate to where I am coming from and like I  must be the ONLY ONE IN THE WHOLE WORLD feeling like this, while all of you out there reading this are feeling crazy too (because that’s why you’re reading this right?). So do me a favour, please just humour me and act like you’re feeling just a teeny weeny bit crazy too, just so we can all be a bit more real about this, ok? The world would be a much better place for it.

 

2. The mum  who pretends you’re not there

Life is hard enough without always being the one to make conversation when you would rather be hiding in a cupboard stuffing your face full of Dairy Milk. So please, save both us from that awkward thing that happens when you’re both in the same room/street as each other and you know – TALK! Go on, push through the barriers! Don’t pretend like you didn’t see me and look the other way because that will never make another mum feel good…more like a piece of turd stuck to your shoe. Talking is a free action after all, and if we all talked a bit more, a lot of mums would probably feel a lot less lonely as mums.

3. The mum who looks like they have walked out of a Joules catalogue (who I want to throw a bucket of water over)

 
Look, last time I checked, we weren’t all pretending to be Kate Middleton on the school run. I want to see Rice Krispie besmerched sweaters, I want to see leggings covered in  – what on earth is that substance anyway??! – but I do not need to see a mum who looks like she has walked out of a Joules catalog first thing in the morning. You might as well just push me over into a puddle and be done with it.

4. The mum who never admits to losing their S***

Closely related to number one, unless you have had some kind of secret lobotomy where you no longer feel any emotion connected to your little ones pressing your buttons, you are doing absolutely nobody any favours by looking like you just came down in the last rain shower, straight from heaven, with a troupe of angels (your children) tagging behind you. You know, and I know that kids can push you way over to the brink and back, so stop acting like your feathers have never been ruffled once in your life!

5. The mum who always over shares (but not the juicy bits)

Don’t get me wrong….I am all for a bit of oversharing…it makes us all feel a bit better to know what’s actually going on in someone else’s life, but oversharing of totally mundane facts about your and your children’s comings and goings. No. Just no. I don’t care which extra curricular classes they have and when. I don’t care about where you’ll be ferrying them off to at the weekend. Time is precious, and my brain could very well fall out of my ear at any moment. So please, go and bore a Starbucks barista instead.

 

6. The mum who always coughs in your face while talking to you

NOOOOOOOO! Don’t  you get that we are all in a perpetual cycle of colds trying to dodge germs, not rack up new ones? We have enough germs to deal with without having them coughed in our face mid conversation. If you can’t say anything without coughing….well you know how this one ends.

 

7. The mum who plies your child with sugar and leaves you to deal with the aftermath

Hey! Don’t get me wrong. I’m not adverse to a few biscuits, some chocolate, a nice cupcake and  the odd lollipop here and there, but a constant afternoon’s supply of sugar? You know and I know how all that sugar is going to affect their behaviour and that it’s going to lead to the mother of all crashes, tantrums and general hell. So WHY WOULD YOU DO SUCH A THING???????! THIS I can seriously do without. Time to put the lid back on the stash tin please.

Gosh this list could go on couldn’t it? I feel a part two coming very, very soon.

Do you have any or all of these in your life? Which gets your goat the most?

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46 comments

  1. The Mum who irks me is the Mum who manages to maintain a ‘normal’ life despite children! You know, nights out and other things I only vaguely recall!

  2. Haha, loved this post – really made me laugh. I’m not a mum myself but I definitely know some mothers who have these traits! The type of mums that really annoy me are the ones who try to come across like everything is perfect – it’s just not realistic and sometimes imperfections are better!

  3. I had to laugh at ‘the mother who looks like she walked out of a Joules catalogue’. I always seem to meet them when collecting my son from school!

  4. Can you please add ‘Mums that think they are superior because they breastfeed’ to the list? Haha! Some people will literally tell anybody that will listen “oh yes I breastfeed, do you?” It’s the most natural thing in the world, you are not superior to others so stop bragging, it makes those Mums who maybe couldn’t do it feel like utter shit. #coolmumsclub

  5. You’d have loved me this morning then. Just as I was about or leave the house to do the school run I noticed that I had something very sticky and very unsightly Al over the bottom of my top. The bit overflow my top that wasn’t covered by my coat of course. I still don’t know what it was but there was Jon time to change so I didnt. I definately don’t look like I have just stepped out of a Joules catalogue while doing the school run, or at any other time actually.
    As for the um who likes to cough in your face? Really? I’ve never had that. That’s just……. no!

    Thanks for hosting #coolmumclub
    Janine (Unhinged Mummy) recently posted…Does My Son Have Autism Or Not?My Profile

  6. O, yes! My worst kind are the oversharing moms and maybe here I would add the never stop talking moms that can be in the same category, as they are probably talking about their life! Very annoying and tiresome!:)
    #coolmumclub

  7. The number of mums that actively look the other way when they walk past you in the street!! Argh! Talk about frosty. I like the Joules catalogue mummy, I sometimes think I’m her, then I catch a glance in the mirror and realise I’m more Corpse Bride than Joules. #coolumumclub
    Helen recently posted…Driving Miss MumatronMy Profile

  8. Haha! Fab! I reckon we all must have something about us as mums though that annoy other mums too 🙂
    I chat a lot- that probably annoys some mums But I’m not the sit in silence type!

  9. Oversharing: 100%. I don’t care how well your 3 year old can read or how many swimming competitions your 6 year old won. Just a friendly ‘hello’ would be fine, or tell me how much sleep you didn’t have last night. My other bug bear: just be friendly. Why the blank faces at the school run? How hard it is to smile and greet, eh? Funny post – all very true!
    Tabitha Siklos recently posted…Not waving, but washingMy Profile

  10. The perfectly dressed joules mum, there are so many of them where I live! I always feel a total mess at toddler groups surrounded by women with not so much as a drop of their toddler’s breakfast on their clothes xx #coolmumclub

  11. This made me chuckle because I’m sure I’ve been one of all of those at some point! Although there are those mum’s who when I’m dropping my girl off to nursery in the morning are perfectly ready for the day. I still don’t know how they do it because they’re lucky I’m not in my night clothes that’s how rushed I am!

    Amina xx | http://www.aliandher.com #coolmumclub
    Amina – Ali & Her recently posted…Christmas 2016 Beauty Gift GuideMy Profile

  12. The ones that get me are the calmly speaking high energy mums that always seem to be happy. How can any mum have that much energy to be like that all the time.

  13. Number four frustrates me. There is someone who makes out online life is amazing with her little one but I know in real life it is the opposite and she is struggling. I don’t understand why she feels she has to pretend when people can support her and give advice! #coolmumclub

  14. Oh the Joules mum every time, seriously, how do they do it? I may not have the crusty leggings on but thats only because I’ve had to get ready for work, otherwise I’d still be in my pj’s! I’m most definitely the mum who throws her child through the door and races passed all of the other mums doing it at their leisure to make sure I don’t miss the train and my first 0830 meeting! Ahhhhhhh #coolmumclub
    Mum-Work-Repeat recently posted…90 Day SSS Plan – Cycle Two is in the bag!My Profile

  15. I’m pretty honest about how tricky being a mum is.. but I have a very annoying friend who, whatever I post on facebook or moan about or just laugh and roll my eyes at, she has to add “you should try working on top of all that”, or actually says “I can better that…” the one-up mum I shall call her!!! #coolmumclub

  16. I suspect I may have been one or two of these at various points – although not intentionally! Not the one that looks like they stepped out of the Joules catalogue though – I’m not sure I’ll ever manage that one! I have been guilty of loading one of my nieces with sugar and leaving her to deal with the consequences – in my defence it was in my pre-children days and when my niece asked me to open a bottle of drink for her, I didn’t really think about the fact that (a) it was Lucozade and (b) it was almost bedtime. Oops! #coolmumclub
    Louise (Little Hearts, Big Love) recently posted…#366daysofgratitude – Week 48My Profile

  17. hahaha I have encountered so many of these mums. I am so not down with the mums who don’t admit to loosing their shit. I get it its not everyones style but I don’t feel as though I can have a good moan about how annoying my kids are in her presence, and sometimes you just got to moan… #coolmumclub
    tammymum recently posted…#MeetTheFamily…Just Saying MumMy Profile

  18. Yep 2 and 4. I think I’m still trying to get over the bunch of mums (who thankfully moved onto other expat locations presumably to make other mothers at their kids’ school miserable) who made me feel like utter shite a few years back. I just don’t understand women or human beings in general to be honest! And anyway, how could ANYBODY not talk to you wifey?! #coolmumclub
    absolutely prabulous recently posted…Word! Forgive Others Not Because They Deserve Forgiveness But Because…My Profile

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