5 things I hate about baby and toddler groups

Ahhh, mum and baby groups, the place you take your little one so they can interact with the other kiddies, have fun and make friends whilst learning at the same time. Plus it gets mummy out of the house and socializing with other mums who you are meant to have a lot in common with. Now I say “meant” because I have had a somewhat “Horrible” experience at these clubs.

I’ve only been to one and actually enjoyed the company if I’m honest but that hasn’t stopped me trying to find others I like, I guess I’m just holding out hope for that one club both my child and I will enjoy enough to go to every session. I know that these little groups can help big time and for the most part are a great idea but I’ve found myself surrounded by people looking down their noses at me or my child being left out from the games.

Safe to say it doesn’t make me feel great and my anxiety shoots through the roof with this, so here are 5 things I HATE about mum and baby clubs.

Awkward first meetings

Usually with everything there is a bit of an awkward meeting so this isn’t a big one for me but it’s still a little nerve racking. I’ve found with any of these little “clubs” there already tends to be a clique of people who know each other and trying to make conversation with them is like drawing blood from a stone. I have found one club where people are so lovely and nice, they are just all round great people so it make’s me wonder why some of them aren’t so nice? We are all mothers trying to give our kiddies the best start!

Cliques

I really dislike cliques, like, I really dislike them. I didn’t like them in school and I sure don’t like them as a mum. I can’t understand what makes people feel so good about themselves to not include others? I get there will always be different groups of friends at anything but that doesn’t mean they should ignore the new gal does it? And sometimes it’s not just the mothers, the children can just be as bad I have found. I really do not like seeing my little one trying so hard to please other children and be their friend to be met with a shove or toy thrown at his face and told to go away… it breaks my heart.

Lack of variety

Now this may just be down to the little play groups that are around my area if I am honest as I have seen others talk so highly about the clubs they go to and how much there is for their child to engage in but a few I have went to have been the same activities over and over again, the same songs, the same toys week in and week out. I get repetition is important for the learning stage but there is only so many times we can have a teddy bear picnic in one year!

Feeling judged

I can’t imagine anyone likes to feel judged, it’s a horrible feeling but when it is happening to both you and your child it’s disgusting. I’ve had another mother judge my son for wanting to play with the barbies…. its 2016 people, lets not classify toys as JUST for girls or JUST for boys. Him wanting to explore and play with different toys is not a reflection on bad parenting thank you very much!

The over all feeling of being judged isn’t nice and I shouldn’t have to feel that I need to buy £100 trainers just for him to fit in with the other children… it’s a play group not a fashion show! and I do not need to be wearing heels and a fur jacket just so you think me worthy to sit with your “girls”. Each to their own, wear what you want but don;t judge someone else for not wanting to do the same thing as you.

Being left out

For me this is the worst one by far. I’m an adult, I understand being left out and all that stuff (doesn’t mean I don’t like it though) but my little one has no idea why he can’t sit with the other boys or go play with the girls. He just wants to play, to make friends and have fun but when he is deliberately left out by workers as well, that makes me so angry. I take him there to learn, to play, to interact and have a great time but more times than none it doesn’t seem to work out that way and It makes me sad for him. He is such a happy little boy who want’s to be friends with everyone.

So there you have it, 5 things I dislike about mum and baby groups. Maybe I have just been very unlucky when it comes to these and I really do hope no one else has to feel any of the feeling’s I get when I step through those doors.

Have you had a negative experience with toddler and baby groups? Do leave a comment and share your experiences below.

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photo credit: Lester Public Library Time to Share via photopin (license)

5 comments

  1. Sorry to hear you have such bad experiences of the baby and toddler groups 🙁 it’s such a huge shame. They are there to be a support and it’s horrible that people are made to feel this way! I myself am very chatty- I will chat to anyone regardless. I probably annoy people haha. I have noticed people there though that sort of fit in with how you describe to some effect, and won’t even say a hello to me even though I go every week, but it doesn’t especially bother me. I just focus on those that I do get on well with, have a chat, let little one play and find the positives 🙂 always look for positives and the negatives won’t matter as much xx

  2. This is such a shame and i can imagine is sadly not uncommon! I help run the local playgroup and because its run by us mums its in our own interest to get new mums involved because they will take over from us in a few years! I never understood cliques either hate snobby mums! Hope u find a nice group xx

  3. Ooft! Can of worms as they say, but a very, very common experience for young (and older!) mums and it’s good that you’re tackling it. Glad you found a nice group you and your child can enjoy

  4. I run our village toddler group and would hate anyone to feel like this! I know its so true about cliques mums who know each other gather and chat and generally make no effort to engage with new mums – they foget what it was like to walk through that door for the first time! I make a point of trying to introduce everyone and we also have a facebook group which has been good for informal chatting and getting to know each other. Sucks that you’ve had such crap experiences but can imagine it happens a lot – why i dont know though as people should want to encourage new mums to attend! Hope you find a good group soon x

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