Trawl the internet and there are PAGES full of how your body transforms once you become a mum and none of this is new to any of you here, reading this, right now. From saggy boobs, to scarecrow hair, to Dartford Tunnel like vaginas and and fold-laden tummies, it all just becomes a lot of noise after a while.
But now, I want to talk about a part of the body which often gets overlooked, and now which deserves its very own WTF moments.
Yup, that’s right, let’s talk about hands.
What the hell happens to your hands once you become a mum?!
Remember those youthful looking hands which used to once reside on the end of your arms? You know, when they looked fresh as a daisy like this?
One day you look down and to your horror, you can only surmise that someone must have cut off and stitched a pair that can not belong to you – perhaps that the old biddy’s (you know, the one who shuffles down the road on her mobility aid every day) – while you were sleeping. Papery, wrinkly and looking like they did fifty soaks in a bucket of bleach (because they probably did over the course of time), much like the ones pictured at the beginning of this post.
Your dreams of being a hand model turn to dust.
No amount of creams, elixirs, massage or other desperate attempts seem to be able to keep the early on-set granny hands away. You vaguely consider getting tats all over your hands to cover up the shame. Would something like this be a step too far, you wonder??
How can washing up liquid be so cruel? When will we be able to break free from the albatross round our necks of having to wash our hands a bajillion times a day whilst dealing with a never ending slew of dirty, snot or sick infested items?
Suddenly those pongy rubber gloves your mum keeps not so subtly leaving round the house at every visit don’t seem such a bad idea.
But don’t be ridiculous! That would require a whole extra two minutes of time you don’t have to actually put them on.
And so the curse of mum hands lives on.
Do you suffer from the curse of mum hands? Will our hands ever heal? Or is it only downhill from here on in?