The New Mummy Manifesto

Being a new mum can be the most magical, confusing, exhausting, contradicting and down right other-wordly experience out. The first year of being a mum can feel like enough challenges were squeezed in it to last a lifetime, and if that’s not enough, it seems like after all this time, most people are still utterly at a loss at how best to support new mums.

These days, we seem to have manifestos for everything, and with the upcoming election, I thought – what better time to pen a proposed New Mummy manifesto? And so here is my New Mummy Manifesto, based on everything I, along with other mums in my network, experienced in their first year. Please feel free to send your feedback and proposed amends to the new mummy minister in a comment below…

  1. We shall be there to support, help and nourish new mummies in our circles, giving practical help of an extra pair of hands when at all possible.
  1. We shall smile at new mummies in the street, not just coo over their babies, so they know they have not disappeared into a black baby hole.
  1. We shall talk to new mummies at the playgroup, just so that they feel that they have had an adult conversation at least once that day.
  1. We shall not scrutinize and pass judgement on their parenting, or compare to our own situations, because we know every mummy and baby is different.
  1. We will keep it real, and not collude in one big, “put on a brave face” cover-up.
  1. We shall not make new mummies feel even more insecure by brushing off their concerns as neurotic.
  1. We shall introduce new mums to other new mums – rather than keeping things in a clique.
  1. We shall not assume…anything…to do with a new mum or their circumstances.
  1. We shall continue to support them once all the initial flurry of newborn excitement has died down…and not forget about them thereafter.
  1. We shall come to call when it suits them (not us) and make sure everything we do to help is around what and when is convenient for them.

What else would you add to this New Mummy Manifesto? Feel free to chime in below!

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  1. That’s a lovely idea. Have to say my experience (kids are now 7 and 5) doesn’t bear it out. Women are often rubbish at supporting one another and motherhood seems to bring out the competitive spirit even more. I’ve written about how grim Mother & Toddler Groups can be. Well done for waving the banner and I hope you succeed! #mummymonday

    • I particularly like the introducing other mums to one another to avoid cliques developing. This isn’t school, we need to model what we want for our children!

  2. This is a really great post. So honest and true. If we all lived by these guidelines, the world would be an ever better place for new mothers than it is now. On my first bout of maternity leave I really missed haivng proper conversations. Talking to another mother doesn’t mean you HAVE to talk about babies.
    Thanks for sharing on #TwinklyTuesday.

  3. Just number 4, repeated ad infinitum until all judgy parents (dads as well as mums) finally get that there is no one right way (i.e. their way). Also, if numbers 3 and 7 could be extended to the one dad who turns up at messy play (or whatever), that would be fab – when I did it with my kids, mums were never unfriendly as such but I often really did feel like the proverbial fifth wheel and, introvert that I am, I struggled to strike up small talk with other mums.

    • Absolutely Tim! I can totally understand that…but us mums who are supposed to be “in our element” with other mums have no excuse. And we should definitely be going the extra mile for any dads that show up to messy play..let’s get that amended.

  4. This is a fab manifesto! The one about talking to each other in playgroups is my favourite – I always felt like a spare part whenever I took him somewhere like that! Thanks so much for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

  5. Oh Yes! I love this manifesto. I think I’ve signed up without even realising. Those first few months were soooo hard. I remember calling my mum to thank her soon after giving birth as I just could never realise what she went through! haha! Great post and thanks for linking up lovely #TheList xxx

  6. Fabulous! I’d totally vote for you.
    I think you shouldn’t stop there but perhaps you could kick Cameron out and lead up the country and sort it out for us!

    I never was a fan of the baby groups. Or the Starbucks brigade. Not for me.
    Perhaps it would have been different if they’d read your manifesto!x

  7. Think we can all learn something from this manifesto – and admit we’ve probably fallen down some of the pitfalls… You are very right about all of them. I particularly like number 7. I felt this one sting big time, but fortunately I love meeting new people. Especially the quiet ones in the corner. x MMT #babybrainmondays

  8. This is a great post and something that everyone should follow. I have had a few negative experiences over the last 2 years and these led to self-confidence issues however i learnt to just get involved in groups of mums at the park and playgroups! 🙂 #BabyBrainMonday

  9. I love this! We should all be supporting each other and uplifting each other but unfortunately not everyone is on the same page! Thanks for linking up lovely #babybrainmonday x

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