10 things parents should never Google…EVER!

parents should never Google

We can’t help it…we live in an age where our first instinct when we want to find out if we are doing something right or wrong, or if we are absolutely clueless about something in this crazy world that is parenthood is to turn to our good old friend Google. But before you start Googling everything left right and centre, know that there are some things you should never Google as a parent. Starting with these:

Do not google “plug” when pregnant

If you are pregnant and wondering if you’re going to be going into labour soon do not ever make the error of Googling “plug” as in mucus plug, which is a sign you are going into labour soon. According to 3 Little Ladies and Me you definitely don’t want to see a sea of mucus plugs on Google any time soon. Spoiler: you will almost certainly want to gag!

Step away from the temptation to Google fever

Seriously. This is one that you just need to trust your instincts on. You know when your child has a fever and don’t need Dr. Google to tell you so! Worse still, says Keeping Up With The Jones Family, you shouldn’t be asking Google whether a fever is good for them or not. No, just no!

Resist the need to validate your baby’s swollen genitals

Yes you might be fretting that your son’s genitals are looking swollen and wondering why that might be, but that doesn’t mean you want to be confronted with pages of pictures of deformed nether regions, says Rock and Roll Pussy Cat. Big mistake!

Anything to do with chickenpox

You know the one when you find out your child has been in contact with another child with chickenpox and then you think it would be a good idea to become the world expert on chickenpox. Stop right there! Yup, Tattooed Tea Lady Googled it and spent the next 10 days terrified of her daughter contracting chickenpox, convinced she needed to be taken to a hospital right away and having horrible visions of tubes and monitors and all the rest! Thankfully, she didn’t catch it. Best just to side-step that one unless you want to end up looking like this….

What happens if your my son gets sand in the end of his willy

It’s sand, not freaking acid! Just don’t go there, says Ready Freddie Go.

Anything to do with what your child’s poo should look like

Do you really need to be looking through galleries full of other people’s children’s turds? Nora And Co says resist the urge! Plus who takes photos of their nappies and uploads them to the internet anyway?

Is it possible to die from sleep deprivation?

Ok, so you’re feeling exhausted, and need a bit of comfort but trust The Pramshed, Google is not the place to go from this. There are some pretty awful sleep deprivation horror stories on Google to tip you over the edge so best just to thank your lucky stars, even if you did only get 20 minutes sleep last night. However, in case you’re wondering – yes you can.

Are my babies teeth in the right place?

Unless you want to have your mind flooded with the THE most horrendous images you have ever seen, so bad that you can picture them to this day, Five Little Doves says beware this innocent question which will bring up a condition where you can grow teeth across your entire palate!! Oh my word.

Is it normal to find carrots in my child’s nappy

Of course it is if they’ve eaten them you fool! Life with Baby Kicks learnt the hard way on this one. Don’t follow in her footsteps…or else!

What does a placenta looks like?

Placentas are an amazing thing when they are inside the body but trust me, stand alone…not so much. Worse still if you have a retained placenta, which, according to Little Ladies Big World left her scarred for life after she Googled it!

Skip on the search for threadworms

You may have a threadworm infestation in your school but unless you want to see pages full of children infested by all sorts of worms from all across the world and basically barf all over your screen, just don’t do this says A Mum Reviews. Go out and buy some Ovex instead!

What are some of the things you wish you had never Googled as a parent? Do share in a comment below. For more on the things parents Google check out this post by Life Love and Dirty Dishes.

26 comments

  1. Oh my gawd, these are so funny! I shouldn’t admit this but I was recently ill for about two weeks and google convinced me that I was pregnant! Even my husband was convinced and he became obsessed with googling my symptoms! Always stay away from google!

  2. Oh my gosh that is so funny, I find carrots in my toddler’s nappy all the time! But it never occurred to me to Google it, like you I made the logical assumption that what goes in must come out. I am going to completely skip past the thread worms one (I’m shuddering just thinking about it, let alone having a visual). I did Google head lice last year and boy was I sorry I did that. My daughter thankfully didn’t catch them at preschool last year but just seeing the images of them and knowing that some other kids in her class had them made me shampoo her about three times with Hedrin just to be on the safe side. Ughh! #CoolMumClub

  3. Yup – done most of those. For some reason, every time there’s an outbreak of chicken pox at my son’s school, I feel the need to Google it. I don’t know why the images are not burnt onto my retina by now. Plus every night, like a deranged sleep-deprived night banshee, I Google ‘when will my baby sleep through the night’. I have been doing so for 16 months. I’m not sure why I don’t realise at this point that Google doesn’t have the magic answer ….#coolmumclub

  4. Oh dear I’m betting you all wish you could un-see most of the above now don’t you? There are some seriously disgusting things to be discovered on the internet as a parent aren’t there???! x

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