15 tips for when your child doesn’t want to go to bed: 2023 guide

There are two parts of the day which are usually the hardest for parents when we can often be found banging our heads against the wall – the mornings and the bedtimes. Of course there are plenty of challenges wedged in between, but these are the pressure points that make can test your patience wayyyy beyond its limits.

Let’s be frank. There is nothing worse than at the end of a long hard day than when your child doesn’t want to go to bed.  Sometimes it’s a struggle just to get them to stay put in their bed, let alone fall asleep. The key here is to have some strategies to help relax your child – so they not only jump in bed without putting up a fight, but they’re actually almost excited for it?

With that said. today in this post we’re going to focus on bedtimes and how we can make  your child’s bedtime easier. If you’re often found chasing a sproglet around the house who seems more concerned with testing out their bed as a tramponline, trying to convince them that YES IT IS BEDTIME as most of us have done at some point or another, then read on my friends.

Have a set bedtime and nighttime routine

Children respond positively to repetition and routines and routines are a great way of making children’s bedtime easier. It’s helpful to get them to bed at the same time each night, and incorporate a relaxing routine to your regular nighttime schedule. It’s beneficial to their internal body alarm clock as it’ll signal their body to start winding down after it recognizes bedtime is near, but research also shows that it aids in brain development. In the study, children with irregular bedtimes behaved worse than children with bedtimes, and their behavior improved after incorporating a bedtime.

Ditch the screen time

The light that emanates from the screen of electronics can be detrimental to a children’s sleep and make it harder for them to relax for bed. First of all, it disrupts their body’s circadian rhythm, which helps regulate their sleep-wake cycle and is heavily influenced by light and darkness. Consequently, it makes it harder for your child’s body to recognize when it should start winding down. Secondly, blue light from electronic devices also keeps their brain stimulated, because the constant buzzing and notifications keep their brain on alert mode, as opposed to sleep mode. To avoid this, make a rule that your child has to stay off electronics at least an hour to an hour and a half before bedtime.

Use music

Music can be really soothing at bedtime for children so long as it is relaxing. There are some really great compilations out there, and one of our favourites is a lovely combination of super relaxing lullabies called The Rainbow Collections by Sophie Barker. It really is so wonderfully dreamy that you could’t fail to feel relaxed and sleep-ready listening to it!  Young children still love a good ol’ lullaby sung by you the parent and this is a classic way to make your child feel relaxed before bedtime.

Invest in a night light

A night light can really help a child who doesn’t want to go to bed settlle. We love the Lumie Bedbug light which encourages children to stay in their room and settled more easily.

Focus on the positives

Bedtime can be a time when a lot of anxieities and behaviourial problems time to come out. Knowing this, try to find ways of making bedtimes more positive, for example by sharing one thing that you both loved about the day right before they go to sleep. Then we think of three generally positive things to think about while they sleep; like holidays, sunshine, and our cats!

Make their room their haven

Sometimes when children fail to go to sleep at night it is because they feel either unsafe or uncomfortable in their bedroom. The way to try and solve this is by filling their room with elements that they are familiar with and like. This is why you might choose to decorate and base your child’s room on a theme, such as their favourite cartoon character or sport. That’s why you see a lot of football bedrooms for boys, for example, with football wallpaper and football duvet sets and bedrooms based on Peppa Pig, Paw Patrol and other popular characters. The reason this works is that your child sees their favourite cartoon on a frequent basis and thus they feel as if they know the character. By adding cuddly toys, bed covers and wall images of this character to your child’s bedroom they will feel happy, safe and at ease.

Get the room set up right

Don’t underestimate the impact of a tidy toom at bedtime. A tidy toom means they are less distracted at bedtime and it’s also worth investing in blackout curtains to address the seasonal light changes which can throw them out of sync and make them struggle with sleep.

Make sure their bed is comfy

Your child’s mattress should also be comfortable for them. You don’t need to purchase something as nice or luxurious as the mattress you sleep on, especially considering they probably won’t notice the difference. You should, however, make sure they have a cozy sleeping space. Most children enjoy soft mattresses because they weigh so little, they don’t apply much pressure to a bed. That means a medium or medium-firm mattress might feel a bit too firm for them. You might want to consider a gel memory foam mattress. They’re soft, and your child will feel like they’re getting a warm hug once they become nestled by the viscous top layers of the bed.

Stock up on the books

There’s a reason why bedtime stories have been a favorite pastime for parents and children spanning from generation to generation. It promotes literacy, language development, and strengthens the bond between you and your child. Not to mention, children love storytime! If you’re wondering at what age you should start reading to them, the American Academy of Pediatrics says to begin as early as birth. Just make sure you’re picking out age-appropriate stories.

Address bedtime fears

Maybe your child is afraid of the dark, or perhaps it’s the “green 4-eyed monster” hiding underneath their bed. Whatever their fear might be, you should address them with your son or daughter before they go to sleep. Rather than acting dismissive, teach them how to be courageous and overcome their fears. After showing them there’s really nothing to be afraid of, remind them how brave they are and they’re in control of their own heads. Rather than letting their imagination conjure up a scary monster lurking in the dark, tell them to imagine something happy like a big ice cream cone or them playing with their favourite animal. If your child is scared of monsters, why not try a monster spray. It’s just lavender essential oil in water, relaxes them and scares off the monsters. Used in their bed time routine after their story.

Try a meditation

Meditations are a great way of encouraging a feeling of relaxation and wellbeing before sleep enabling them to drift off into calming, reparative sleep, their hearts full with love. What could be more dreamy than that?

Give them a foot rub

Sounds decadent but a foot rub before bed is a great way to relax restless little ones. We love to do this using Dudu BaaBaa – a unique blend of four 100% pure essential essential oils that promote relaxation and calm. We swear by it!

Don’t forget the teddies

In a 2012 study by the Adler Center for Research in Child Development and Psychopathology, researchers selected random children with bedtime fears in a control group and gave them a stuffed animal to sleep with. The children who were given stuffed animals experienced less fear and disrupted sleep than those who weren’t given a stuffed animal.

Don’t rush bath time

You probably have a nighttime routine with your child already that includes something along the lines of brushing their teeth, and giving them a bath. Bath time can be really enjoyable and relaxing for your child, but parents tend to quickly breeze through it to get their child into bed quicker. Think about how much you love a nice bath session — let your child enjoy theirs as well.

And if all else fails….bribe!

If you’ve tried everything else, some people swear by the power of bribery. I know one mum who bribes her 5 year old with 10p to stop mucking around at bed time and just go to sleep. It works a treat! 

If you have a child that doesn’t want to go to bed, why not try some of our tips and see how you get on!

10 comments

  1. We found a good night light and a duvet/bedding she really loves helps. Also we bought a ‘fairy door’ and the fairy only comes out at night, to watch over her – in addition to a family photo she can look at to remind her not to be lonely!

  2. Fantastic tips! I agree about routine – we have the same routine every night and it helps to set my daughters up for bedtime 🙂

  3. These are some really good tips Talya! I think having a routine is definitely a great piece of advice. Also setting the right ambiance is key too as you mentioned. xx

  4. I used to sleep so well when I had a routine but then as soon as I was able to start staying up a bit later and didn’t have as strict a routine I know I wasn’t as good. It’s even the same now as an adult x

  5. I am lucky that my little two go to sleep on an evening no problem and are in bed asleep by 7. I think that routine is key as mine have been in the same routine since birth, I also think that screen free time before bed is good too. If my 4-year-old daughter goes on her tablet too much she takes longer to fall asleep and is so unsettled x

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