5 reasons why getting a gift of flowers sucks

don't buy her flowers

photo credit: These tulips are what we call in Holland; French Tulips. via photopin (license)

Ahhh receiving a bouquet of flowers….so pretty….so uplifting….apparently the ultimate way way of saying I love you. Or are they really? I think they actually say something else altogether, and so here’s my five reasons why I think getting a gift of flowers on a special occasion totally sucks.

1. I am a brown thumb

Apart from the occasional rare charity moment when something decides to actually live for more than one second in my house, you can bet your bottom dollar that anything plant like, and particularly flowers, are going to die very quickly under my useless guidance.

2. They are seriously unimaginative

OK, for a quick thank you – flower might do. But for something like an anniversary, flowers to me speak of total and utter lack of imagination. True they are better than a poke in the eye, but anything is better than a poke in the eye, especially if it’s on your anniversary. Surely you can come up with some more interesting anniversary gift ideas that that?

3. Flowers are fickle

One minute they are there, the next they are in the trash can. If someone is going to get me a meaningful gift, for a meaningful occasion, and I were to read between the lines…what would that therefore mean?

4. Extra sucky points if they are from the petrol station

Petrol station flowers – don’t even get me started on these!! Like the total diss of every special occasion. Code for: sorry I left it ’til the last minute and am a totally special kind of useless human being.

5. They are a rip off

Um…..sorry how much for a bunch of flowers? £30??? Just think, that could be put towards a nice facial, or massage, a cleaner that week or half a day’s childcare. Please don’t go wasting that on some cruddy bunch of flowers!

Rant over. Call me a stick in the mud, but am I the only one who feels this way?


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