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Let’s talk about positive parenting tips for parents. We all know that a child’s upbringing directly influences their future and how important it is to teach them good behaviour and values. It is also important to provide a healthy, secure environment for them to develop and grow in to help them thrive, giving them a strong foundation to build on for a happy life.

It’s a given that parents should spend time with their children to help form a strong relationship with them. In doing so, you’ll learn how to discipline them and what motivates them. It’s also vital that a parent should model the attitude they want for their child.

Acting positively shapes future generations; this is because children learn from their parents’ actions and attitudes so one of our top positive parenting tips for parents is to model positive attitudes and behaviours for their children to emulate.

By setting a good example yourself – eating healthy food, getting enough sleep, and exercising regularly – this will help them grow into happy adults who are able to self-regulate their emotions and behave responsibly.

But it’s not just about modelling. As parents, it’s also vital to take care of ourselves – especially the most vulnerable, overwhelmed parts, so we can be the calm, stable presence our children so need.

With that said, here are seven positive parenting tips for parents aimed at helping parents better manage the rough winds of their children’s emotions in this difficult world we live in.

Fill your own reservoir

This has become a cliché, and an especially annoying one when you are trying to balance work and kids while stuck in an enclosed space. Time for yourself is more limited now, but filling your own tank has never been more important.

Self-care isn’t selfishness – it’s a critical component of good and positive parenting. Prioritize your sleep. Take breaks to sing out the window or have a pillow fight with your child. Run up and down stairs. Take a virtual yoga or fitness class, if possible, or go for a walk or a run outside. And don’t feel guilty about it.

Relax your standards

It doesn’t make sense to hold yourself to ordinary expectations in extraordinary times. We are living through the greatest culture shift, and indeed a permacrisis. If your child wants to stay in their pyjamas all day on the weekend, let them. The most important thing you can do right now is to communicate safety, calm and consistency.

Set aside 15 minutes for special time with each child, each day

Make a point about the designated time, stick to it, and offer them your full attention. Let children choose what they want to do, or do some form of physical play, like pillow fights or chases. The added benefit here is that a stubbed toe or banged knee can be an excuse for emotional release. The quality of time you spend is more important than the quantity. You may be surprised by how comforted and filled up your child is even after small amount of engaged time together.

Calm your own body first

Your primary responsibility is to remain as calm as possible in every interaction with your children. When you notice yourself getting frustrated, impatient, or anxious, slow down and take three deep breaths. If you still feel activated, continue breathing until you notice your body relaxing. Calming your body helps to bring your more adult self back online, so you can think more rationally, feel more empathy, and make better positive parenting choices.

Be intentional about the limits you set

Sometimes, we set limits out of habit, without thinking, or because they were set for us. Other times, we hold off on setting a limit to avoid a tantrum. If your child is making a request that pushes against your comfort zone, but that you don’t have a good reason to deny, it could be a good opportunity to stretch your stress tolerance. If the behaviour or request feels truly unreasonable, setting the limit before you get upset allows you to approach it calmly and with empathy.

If you permit unacceptable behaviours to persist or fulfill requests simply to avoid a tantrum, you are actually, gathering kindling for a harsher reaction later. Establishing limits consciously, clearly, and gently – and sticking to them – will make your children feel more secure and contained, and lead to more harmony overall.

Welcome tantrums and meltdowns

Children have an easy-release valve for negative emotions, which we do not permit ourselves as adults. Think of meltdowns as the child’s way of discharging accumulated stress.

One of the most powerful positive parenting tips for parents is this: If you allow your kids to fully experience their emotions and stay close while they do, they will move through them, and learn that they don’t need to be afraid of strong feelings.

Don’t be afraid to apologize

We are all human and we all sometimes fall short of our own standards, especially in stressful times. When you make a mistake, or go overboard, the most important thing is to simply own it. Judging or berating yourself only fuels a continued cycle of negative emotions and bad behaviour, while rationalizing or justifying may make you feel better, but it won’t help your child. Instead, quickly acknowledge your mistake so your child isn’t left feeling confused, anxious or ashamed. And then, gently, move on.

For more positive parenting tips for parents see this post here.

Emily Pines is a Managing Director of The Energy Project Europe and a mum to Delilah (age 4) and Gabi (age 2). In her corporate role, she has led the creation of The Energy Project’s core products over the last 7 years, and has created and facilitated custom programs for a wide range of companies including Google, Coca-Cola, Ernst & Young, and Ahold Delhaize. She has spent the last four years exploring how core principles around emotional resilience, self-regulation, and consciousness apply to raising small children.