Welcome to the 18th edition of the #beingamother project featuring Jo from Momma Boss. I really love the message behind Jo’s instalment as it’s something that has often struck me about motherhood – how it really humbles you.
I’ve often remarked on how prior to motherhood, you feel somewhat invincible – but motherhood really does a good job of teaching you otherwise. But enough from me on that – please join me in reading Jo’s humble account of what motherhood means to her…
Being a mother, for me, means being humble.
I think I’ve always been a humble person; I’ve never been egotistical or pretentious but motherhood has really reminded me how humble I am and should remain!
The first time I had these feelings was during my first pregnancy. I started to get annoyed by people using pregnancy as something to show off about. What exactly are you boasting about? Your bits work? You sleep with your partner? Babies are a very natural progression in a stable relationship. I’ve never seen it as something to image craft over.
I didn’t want to boast about being pregnant. It’s odd really because I’m not doing anything special by being pregnant; I don’t deserve virtual praise or ‘likes’ yet it is the most special thing for me.
The next humble step of my motherhood journey came when my baby was born and we lost some ‘friends’. The simple reason we lost them was they weren’t humble. They perceive themselves to be superior and when we, ‘the inferior ones’ settled down and were happy with our new home and new baby… They didn’t like it. They turned rude and nasty and are no longer part of our lives.
I was humbled even more when I got pregnant again soon after my baby was born. Unfortunately it ended in a miscarriage and it reminded me ‘be careful what you wish for’. I wished my baby would come out when he went overdue by 10 days. Then my baby did come out, far too early. It reminded me of the final scene of The Wizard of Oz, I had what I wanted all along.
We got engaged just before my baby turned one; it made me go all nostalgic over our relationship. I thought back to our early days and how I’d like to incorporate some of our early interests into the wedding. It wasn’t all cute and cuddly though, our relationship had some sad times too and one of them was me giving a speech telling my self-employed partner to get a more reliable income. Fast forward almost two years and I miss the days when we could just have adventures whenever we liked and weren’t tied down by 9-5 days.
Sometimes I just think, who was I to say that really? I must have viewed myself as some kind of superior being and I’m not. We’re equal in our relationship. We both bring out the best in each other and I would have been lost without him.
Life often seems very complicated but actually what it boils down to is very simple… Happy people are happy for people. Maybe I can only see this now because I’m happy, maybe I wasn’t happy until recently, maybe it’s simply motherhood that has made me realise.
In the big wide world, I’m a nobody – nothing special. In my world, I’m a somebody – the most special person to my baby and my fiancé.
That is what motherhood has taught me.
Find out more about the #beingamother project, how you can be part of it, and read previous issues in the series here.