The truth about money and relationships

money and relationships

Did you know that money worries are one of the leading reasons marriages fall apart in the UK? Although we don’t really like to talk about money as a nation or even money and relationships, it goes to show that whether we like it or not, money plays an important part in all relationships. And the importance of money and relationships all starts in the early days.

Did you know that women still look for financial security?

Think back to when you met your significant other. Although times have moved on quite a bit with women owning it in terms of financial independence more than ever before, according to psychologist and relationship expert, Dr Becky Spelman as part of a survey conducted by Shepherds Friendly to delve into the power play between money and relationships, whether it be consciously or unconsciously women sometimes still look for indications that a man would be able to care for her – and possibly her children too. I guess old habits die hard!

If I’m totally honest looking back, if in my single days a guy rocked up and admitted to me that he was in copious amounts of debt, there would probably be some kind of warning alarm going off in my mind – as much as I don’t like to admit it, but there you go! I’ve said it!

But keeping money matters equal is also important

Having said that I definitely fall into the over three-quarters of women who feel that couples should split the bill on a date, as I’m very much a  women who has grown up in a society where I feel more secure and able, and less inclined to look to male partners for financial security.

money and relationships

It’s unanimous! Saving for the future is key

But I suppose that’s not all that surprising is it? According to the research by Shepherds Friendly, over 90% of women surveyed agreed that the importance of saving for the future was a no-brainer – and of course our ability to do that as a couple is something that has important ramifications on our relationships too.

Compatibility trumps earnings

I guess for me it’s about balance and I definitely identify with the results which show that while money is important, I don’t mind if my loved one doesn’t bring home a big pay cheque because I’m of the view that love and compatibility matters more! So long as we can get by, that’s enough for me.

Financial transparency reigns supreme

I also believe in complete financial transparency in an established relationship and believe this is the key to keeping the delicate dance of  money and relationships healthy and happy, which is in line with the survey results which show that the majority of people are happy for their partner to know how much they earn.

I am 100% behind Dr Becky’s thoughts on the importance of sharing vital information that is relevant to a couple as a unit and that the amount of money a couple has at their disposal is key to making joint decisions. For me, it’s definitely a warning sign when someone who you are sharing everything else with in life feels that they can’t share information about their income with their significant other.

What is interesting is that the results show that when it comes to  money and relationships – and the sense of security…or perhaps stress that comes with…there is an undercurrent that is with us right from that first date all the way through your life together as a couple….as well as onto a family – something that I have very much experienced first hand.

money and relationships

The breakdown of results from Shepherds Friendly make for really interesting reading so why not take a minute to check out this handy infographic from Shepherds Friendly   that summarizes the survey results to see if you can can identify with the survey results.

Have you ever stopped to think about the interplay between money and relationships? How do you think money affects your relationship? Please do leave a comment and share.

*This is a collaborative post 



  1. Interesting post. Saving up for the future is always an important factor. You never know when you might need something big replacing and it can cause a loot of stress if you have nothing saved up.

  2. I completely agree with full transparency. Someone I know who is married still has their own account, their partner has their own account and they have a joint account for household bills. One is always propping up the other because there’s no transparency. That’s not a marriage of equality in my eyes!

  3. We don;t let money influence our relationship, in fact, we still have seperate bank accounts despite being married for 13 years

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