Hello! And welcome to this week’s edition of mum truths where fellow guest parenting bloggers come to the floor to share truths about life as a mum. This week we have Helen from Talking Mums to share her mum truths with us…
Hi there, I’m Helen from Talking Mums. It is incredibly hard to imagine what being a mum would be like prior to having children. I have to say it’s truly amazing but blumin hard. Whilst I would never attempt to deter anybody from having children, I do think if they had a little insight into the difficulties of parenthood it may prevent them from having unrealistic expectations. I think it is the unrealistic expectations that we have that (wrongly) lead us to believe we are failures.
Sum up being a mum in five words….
Glorious, torture, love, chaos and proud.
What did you wish you knew before having children?
The one up one down trick with tops whilst breastfeeding! I went and bought fancy tops designed for breastfeeding when the easiest and most straightforward way was to wear two tops. One goes up, one comes down. Nothing on show (i.e my belly!) no messing. I only discovered this about 3 months into being a mum.
What has been the hardest thing in motherhood for you?
Realising that adapting to being a mum doesn’t happen overnight. I think I was under some crazy illusion that once I became a mum I would instantly know what to do, how to behave and how to cope. But, I didn’t and that was a big blow.
It was also hard realising that I am allowed to make mistakes and that I shouldn’t expect myself to be perfect all the time! Motherhood is one steep learning curve. Just as you have one aspect of motherhood figured out another challenge bites you on the bum.
When things get tough in motherhood you……
Organise a girlie get together with my besties. Nothing like a good moan and a giggle with the girls to perk you back up again. I have to say I’m very lucky that I have a very supportive OH and a fab bunch of friends.
What do you feel guilty about as mum?
Spending too much time on my phone and laptop and also when I shout!
When was the last time you lost your s*** at your child/children?
Yesterday! My eldest was acting like she’d had a tubful of sweets mixed with a litre of sugary juice and my youngest was clinging to my legs crying as I tried to get a meal ready. I shouted at them. I’m not proud, but at that moment I broke. I felt terrible after. I wish I could be more mindful but frustration can get the better of me sometimes. My daughter said ‘you shocked me mummy’ after I shouted and I felt so ashamed of myself. I did manage to force “i’m sorry for shouting” out of my mouth but still I felt like a dreadful mummy.
What makes you feel bad as a mum?
When I loose my s***! I really try hard to be more mindful of my reactions and although those moments still happen I think generally, I’m getting better and not reacting in a bad way.
And what makes you feel good as a mum?
When all four of us play on the floor giggling, cuddles and being silly. Messy hair, pj’s, silly voices, jumping around and probably waking up our next door neighbour (oops sorry next door neighbour).
I have loads of proud mummy moments too. Especially when Pops gives me the biggest cuddle and tells me she loves me (unprompted). I love it when Pops comes running out of school telling me has got an award of some sort, it’s not the award but the huge smile on her face that makes me feel good. I love it when Pud runs towards me (resembling a baby penguin) with a huge smile on his face, just for me.
I sometimes watch my children and wish they wouldn’t grow but I love watching them grow too. I love to see them develop with new tricks, words, abilities and understanding. It is truly the best thing in the world being a mum.
The universal sods law of being a mum is…..
When you are late, rushing to get everything ready, just about to leave the house and…urgh that smell…why do they choose to have a poo now, why?
What is the greatest lesson being a mum has taught you?
The magic of unconditional love.
Also that we need to see the world through the eyes of young children sometimes. They don’t see the complications. They don’t understand or know hate. They are so accepting of everything. We become so judgmental as we grow.
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