Hello! And welcome to this week’s edition of mum truths where fellow guest parenting bloggers come to the floor to share truths about life as a mum. This week we have Hayley from Devon Mama sharing her mum truths with us….
Hi there, I’m Hayely from Devon Mama. I’m a 30 year old mama, wife and recovering sleep addict. Living with my husband, baby and the world’s bounciest dog in rural Devon, I can usually be found attempting to cook, Googling everything and embracing the strange new world that is parenting. Add in a house with ‘a lot of potential’ and a return to my ‘real’ job as a Company Director and it’s organized chaos at the best of times.
Sum up being a mum in five words….
Exhausting but totally worth it.
What did you wish you knew before having children?
That a good night’s sleep in baby terms is not what I would class as a good night’s sleep.
What has been the hardest thing in motherhood for you?
Keeping hold of myself. I got completely lost in being a mum after my son was born, I wasn’t working, I was unhappy with my appearance, I was permanently exhausted and never took a moment to think about what I needed meaning I wasn’t a nice person to live with! It’s taken a lot of work to start to claw back a feeling of being ME again, rather than just mummy. I’m not all the way there yet in finding that perfect balance but I feel like I’m a lot closer to getting a happy medium for our family life.
When things get tough in motherhood you……
Eat. Call my mum. Go for a walk along the beach. I’m someone who gets inside their own head a lot. I need to vent my frustration and then I can move on. The beach is perfect for doing that and my mum is used to me ringing to have a moan about how hard things are. I think she sees the humour in me finally getting it! As for eating, I’m a huge stress eater. If there’s an issue, chocolate is almost certainly the answer.
What do you feel guilty about as mum?
I feel guilty about wanting time away from my child. I absolutely adore him BUT I need some space from him sometimes. It’s all encompassing, especially when they’re a baby and totally reliant on you 24/7. Going back to work and using a combination of nursery and grandparents to give us childcare to cover that has allowed us some time apart but I feel hugely guilty about it every time I leave him. I don’t think that guilt ever disappears as a parent.
When was the last time you lost your s*** at your child/children?
Probably mid-nappy change the other day. He’s weaning at the moment and I’m still getting to grips with the new, more human, poo. As soon as you take his nappy off, he’s twisting and writhing around trying to get free and get to his toys, even if you give him things to play with. It was early, there was poo everywhere and he decided to twist and get even more all over himself, the floor, the rug and me. I don’t think I handled a 5.30am explosion on a Sunday morning with quite the grace I could have!
What makes you feel bad as a mum?
He’s very clingy at the moment so the minute I leave him, his face crumbles. This morning, I took him to nursery and he tried to crawl after me. I had to turn around, pass him back to the nursery worker, say goodbye to him and leave whilst his face crumbled and he sobbed. It was hideous. Anything where I make him cry like that, makes me feel awful.
And what makes you feel good as a mum?
Oh god, so many things. When he achieves something new, the look of pride on his face is only matched by the same look on mine. When he wants a cuddle from me and actually snuggles in. When I see him spending time playing with his dad, his friends or our families. The best thing is knowing that I give him comfort. When he’s upset or tired or just needs a bit of safety, he turns to me. Knowing I am capable of being that person for him makes me feel like a superhero.
The universal sods law of being a mum is…..
The one time you leave something at home, you can guarantee you’ll need it. Nappy bag, rain cover, hat; we now leave the house looking like we’re off on holiday for a fortnight, every single time. And you know what? It’s totally worth it!
What is the greatest lesson being a mum has taught you?
That I can cope with anything. Being a mum is tough and it’s constantly changing day by day. If I can cope with that, I can cope with anything!
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