Hello! And welcome to this week’s edition of mum truths where fellow guest parenting bloggers come to the floor to share truths about life as a mum. This week we have Jaki from JakiJellz to share her mum truths with us…
Hi there, I’m Jaki from JakiJellz, a thirtysomething Mumma to one four year old who has been winging Motherhood since 2012 and has a penchant for high heels, loud music and woolly socks.
Sum up being a mum in five words….
Best Thing In The World.
What did you wish you knew before having children?
I wish I knew just how much my life would change so that I would have been prepared for it. Having said that I don’t think anything can really prepare you. But I definitely think that I was very naïve before having my Little Man. I wouldn’t change him for the world now I have him, but it would have been nice to have been a little bit more prepared.
What has been the hardest thing in motherhood for you?
Parenting is hard full stop. Anyone who tells you otherwise is kidding themselves. But I find it harder now he talks back. At four, he’s got to the age where he knows what he wants and will make sure I know it. ‘No’ isn’t his favourite word at the moment and apparently, he doesn’t know the meaning of it! The tantrums of the threenager haven’t stopped now we’re at four and at times when he’s having a ‘moment’ it can be really hard to know how to handle it. I worry so much that I’m getting it all wrong. But I’m pretty sure we all do that from time to time.
When things get tough in motherhood you……
Keep going. Normally I will take a minute to calm myself down, but I get right back to it and try to make everything okay. If I’ve had a particularly hard day of it (or few days – they seem to come like that!) my Husband can usually see that I need some time to myself, so every now and again he’ll take the little one out for a few hours and let me have some time to just do nothing. I find that helps. Then by the time they’re home, I’m good to go again. Strangely enough – I don’t have a wine o’clock… maybe that’s where I’m going wrong!
What do you feel guilty about as mum?
Everything! I feel guilty that I don’t spend as much time with him playing on the floor as I should. I feel guilty that at times he has the iPad for entertainment (even though usually he’s completely cool with that!). I feel guilty that he is an only child. I feel guilty that some days I feel bored – I feel guilty even saying that! It’s a guilt ridden experience, this Motherhood malarkey!
When was the last time you lost your s*** at your child/children?
Mid tantrum – for no apparent reason, and because he was taken to the ‘thinking step’ – I was the bad guy and a bigger tantrum ensued, with me almost getting kicked! Oh aren’t these days fun?! Needless to say I took him to his room and ended up shouting at him. NOT the way I like to do things, but when you’re at the end of your tether, sometimes it just happens. (And then I felt guilty!)
What makes you feel bad as a mum?
When I lose my shit. Most of the time I’m calm and that then keeps the situation calm, even when Little Man isn’t. So I feel bad when I feel like I’m doing it all wrong. I feel like I fail him. Even though I’m not, I’m normal. It doesn’t stop me feeling it.
And what makes you feel good as a mum?
- When he comes to me demanding hugs and kisses. When he wants me to do everything from getting his dinner to playing with him and from bathing him to helping brush his teeth and even simple things like getting him into the car. When he says “I want Mummy to do it!” I know I must be doing something right. And of course, when he tells me he loves me. That’s so, so precious. That makes me feel amazing.
The universal sods law of being a mum is…..
- For me, craving the night out. Craving the time away. Craving the freedom and then when I get it – I just want to be back at home with my baby (four is still a baby, right?!) to be there in case he needs me.
What is the greatest lesson being a mum has taught you?
- I never had any before. At all. I’m still not great but I am SO much better than I was. It comes with the territory. It’s also taught me that love at first sight is real and that it is possible to love deeply and completely unconditionally. And it’s such a corny cliché, but it’s taught me that the best things in life, really are free – and they call you Mummy.
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