Well hello there and welcome to this edition of mum truths, where we seek to blow the lid off the the ruse that being a mum can be and tell it how it really is about mum life. Today, I’m delighted to have Amy from The Mighty Duxburys share her mum truths with us so without further ado, here’s Laura with her mum truths.
Hi, I’m Amy. I blog over at The Mighty Duxburys – I live with my husband, Wes and my 18 month old who we affectionately refer to as Short Rib. I blog about all things parenting, food and lifestyle (and whatever comes up in between those things) – relaying our adventures as first-time working parents to our very bouncy, playful little man.
Sum up being a mum in five words….
Best thing I’ve ever done.
What did you wish you knew before having children?
I wish I knew just how much it changes you as a person. I knew it was going to change my life forever and that I’d never be the person I was before I gave birth, but there are so many ways in which I have completely changed that I didn’t expect. I’ve gone from a very laid back individual to being a bit of a worrier. I’ve started getting concerned about things that normally I’d always assume were okay (like a slightly heavy cold or a horrid sounding cough). The biggest thing is the huge amount of empathy you suddenly gain for fellow parents that you’ve never met.
Before I had kids, I’d read news stories about families with children, going missing or whatever, seeing hundreds of people turn out to look for them and I’d always assume these people were popular. I realise now that they’re probably all just fellow parents who can’t imagine what it’s like to have your child disappear. If I read anything involving kids that tragic in any way, my stomach is just tied up in knots – it’s so hard to read that a lot of the time I just have to come off it. Before, it didn’t affect me nearly as much – that’s shocked me.
What has been the hardest thing in motherhood for you?
I guess the complete lack of freedom I suddenly had as a fully-grown adult. I’d be able to go out, whenever I wanted – be it to the shop, the pub, a restaurant, whatever and not have to even think about it. I’d just do it. Now there’s a checklist to tick off every time you want to leave the house, there are certain places you simply can’t go with a toddler and the pub? Forget it. Just stay indoors.
When things get tough in motherhood you……
Submit to that spotted idiot Mr Tumble and allow your child to be sucked into the television for twenty minutes whilst you have a brew. You know it’s defeat, but sometimes, you need him to babysit your child whilst you regain your sanity.
Going back to work so early. I mean, I’d have happily jacked the job in and stayed at home all day but realistically that’s not (and never will be) an option. I went back very early, Short Rib was only 8 weeks old. I regret that massively but with a wedding to pay for, there was no way I could have done anything else. I don’t think I’ll ever stop feeling guilty about it though.
When was the last time you lost your s*** at your child?
He’s only eighteen months, so I very rarely lose my rag with him in the normal way. I do however come out with lines every now and then such as “Whose idea was it to have kids?” (Technically neither of us, as Short Rib was a surprise!) and that’s when hubs knows it’s time to take over and leave me to clean or something whilst the anger subsides. At the minute, Short Rib has taken to smacking me. Not Daddy, just me. Whilst this is bad, it’s not as bad as a couple of nights ago when he was up until 3:00am, thinking it was playtime and screaming if I left him in the room alone. I didn’t shout at him, but I did cry with exhaustion at one point.
What makes you feel bad as a mum?
When he’s fallen off something when I haven’t been watching him. Sometimes, he will climb up onto a toy and fall off it. When I’m watching him do it, I can assess whether it’s something I need to be concerned about or whether I can chalk it up as “He’ll learn” but I feel really guilty if he does it and I’ve missed it, either via a text message or I’ve spaced out watching TV. Worst mother on the planet. I know.
And what makes you feel good as a mum?
Jesus, anything. At the moment he’s learning to talk, so every new word that appears is pretty awesome. He’s also cottoned on to kissing Mummy and Daddy at bedtime, which is super sweet. Any time he isn’t whinging, I feel pretty awesome. We made a good’un.
The universal sods law of being a mum is…..
He is guaranteed to fall asleep in the car. At the very end of your hour-long journey. <
What is the greatest lesson being a mum has taught you?
That all of the cliches that parents throw out there when talking about their children are actually not utter shite. I would die for my 18 month old. I miss my boy when he isn’t around, despite the fact he can’t even talk yet. Everything I do revolves basically around him and my husband. These aren’t just statements – this is my life now I’ve given birth. Only now do I get it.
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