Parting is such sweet sorrow: the reality of mum me time

mum me time

As mums we all bang on about how we could do with some me time, how we just need to have some peace and quiet, a little time…you know…without the kids. Not surprising considering the average mum gets just 17 minutes of ‘me time’ to themselves a day…and that’s probably on a good one!

But here’s the cruelty of me time. The fools that we are – the minute we get this wonderful me time we have been clambering over ourselves to get – we are then literally besides ourselves with anything from guilt, anxiety, withdrawal name it…depending on the type of mum we are.

Errrrrr excuse me but…..what is wrong with us????!

Why can’t we just bloody well enjoy the me time when we get it??!

Well just last week I was granted the mother of all mum me times…a full four days whilst my partner took our daughter up North to see his parents for a few days.

Obviously at this point I should have been running through fields of lavender.

Was I f***.

Nope, instead I was a blithering wreck, angst-ing over the journey up there, whether they should be going at all, if perhaps we were making a HUGE mistake, or even that maybe I should be going with them after all. I even cried a bit.

My god what is wrong with me???!

Either I am an utter shameless control freak or still a hormonal wreck. Granted it came on the back of the Manchester terrorist attack when all I really wanted to do was keep my family close to me.

As it turned out, despite hitting a deer on the way up (gah!) it wasn’t as bad as it turned out. Did I spend the four days chillaxing as any mum in her right might would do?

Did I hell. I wore myself out with a plethora of diy projects and missions, punctuated by a rare annual pedicure where half of my feet fell off in dead skin. Blurgh!

Yes parting is such sweet sorrow. But when oh when will us mums actually let go and enjoy the me time we get when we eventually (if ever) get it. I’m still waiting for that moment. Is anyone truly there yet? I’d love to know….please chime in with a comment below and let me know I’m not the only one who behaves in this CRAZY way once I finally get some me time.

P.S. I’m really sorry those of you who might be reading this craving some me time so badly you would chew your forearm off for it. I’m simply telling it how it is!

the reality of mum me time

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  1. Oh no. Wasted! My husbands now away for 12 days and as soon as he gets back, the following weekend I’m handing him everything and going to get a massage, pedicure and my hair done. I do now what you mean but I soon slap myself and say rinse every second. Hope you get another pedicure soon. #coolmumclub

  2. Me time, ha, time to catch up with housework, blog, maybe eat a decent meal that doesn’t include fish fingers. Oh and the guilt. The guilt. Yep. I’m with you. #coolmumclub

  3. I’d have been exactly the same! My mother in law is always offering to have Josh overnight but something holds me back. And when I have my morning when he’s at nursery I end up doing jobs rather than relaxing! xx #coolmumclub

  4. This!! I’m shit at “me time.” Anyone watching me would think my favourite way to spend a free moment was housework… I’m three days overdue with baby number three, and most days instead of putting my feet up I manage to find about six things to add to my to-do list. None of them involve relaxing!

  5. Love the ‘running through fields of lavender’ part! 🙂 Yes this is basically me. And my Hubby actually. The minute I/We get any time away from them we spend all of it discussing/thinking about how cute they are, how we/I miss them and wishing we were home. Often getting back early! Argh! #coolmumclub xx

  6. Oh I’m terrible for this – and doesn’t time just go so much faster when you’re child free? I have to say though, on our recent date weekend I was so mindful of how precious the weekend was I was literally savouring every single moment of it!

    Here’s hoping for some more #coolmumclub us time soon! x

  7. Up until 2 years ago we lived with my parents who adore the kids. They now have them over for sleepovers regularly and I feel guilty about leaving them even though I know it is their second home (well first technically!) so they think it is just normal. It sounds silly to miss them when they would just be fast asleep upstairs anyway! #coolmumclub

  8. Yes this is so true. Motherhood is a constant battle. You are desperate for space, both physical and emotional, but at the same time you are desperate to be near them. God damn these contradictions. Pen x #coolmumclub

  9. This is OOOOH SO TRUE! On the (extremely) rare times I get a few moments while hubby has takent he kids out somewhere, I worry whether I’ve given him enough changes of clothes for them and topped up their water bottles. I worry if he’ll understand our 2yo when she’s trying to talk to him. I panic that something will happen and they won’t be able to get in contact with me. I think part of it for me is being a SAHM and so it’s hard to let go. But they always come back having had a great time… and yet I don’t learn my lesson! Grrr. #coolmumclub

  10. I like to think I have a pretty balanced attitude to so-called ‘me’ time, but I would definitely struggle with 4 days!! Why are we so hard on ourselves??!! Love this, so honest! #coolmumclub

  11. I find that whenever I have time to myself I have too much to do that I get all flustered and don’t know which thing to do first and end up wasting it on social media! #coolmumclub

  12. Can’t live with them, can’t live without them! I’m ok for a couple of hours then I start to worry. But I worry about her when she’s at nursery or with my mum or at the supermarket with her dad… we’re just programmed that way! Gotta roll with it! #coolmumclub xx

  13. This is completely my life! Im always saying to my husband I need some me time and when we arrange a couple of hours for me to go out and have a coffee/read/blog i end up dithering around for ages before leaving, checking everything is ok repeatedly and then when im out feel so guility that my hubby is alone with both boys for a couple of hours! god knows why as I do this everyday!! go figure! x #coolmumclub

  14. Yes!! So true. My husband has a go at me to do something for myself whenever I get some time but no, I always end up cleaning, working or doing other chores! Why can’t we switch off?! #CoolMumClub

  15. Occasionally I get the rare chance to go out shopping alone but it’s clear from my purchases that my girls are never far from my mind. #coolmumclub

  16. I’m really craving some “me” time. I get Wednesdays off and every week think this week is the one where I’ll get my in laws to watch Ben and I have a day for me so I can do what I want… then I miss him too much and don’t want to let him go! always the way! #coolmumclub

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