How practicing gratitude can help stressed-out parents in 2023

Unless you have been living under a rock of late, you will know that gratitude is everywhere – and it seems that you can barely enter a shop without finding a mug, coaster or candle with the word emblazoned on it.

I have to admit…all of this had rather put me off the notion of gratitude. After all, shouldn’t we be feeling gratitude on a daily basis, without some marketing man having to remind us by considerately placing it on a mug for us?

My entry into practicing gratitude came from a fantastic TED talk about the power of gratitude – or moreover, the Three Keys of Gratitude to Unlock Your Happiest Life by Jane Ransom. This talk really blew me away.

There is a growing field of research that proves that gratitude isn’t just lip service, but that it can actually improve your mental and physical well-being and holy moly, it can even rewire your brain, and in some cases, turn your whole life around.

The research is outlined in Robert Emmons’ book Thanks!: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier which shows that positive psychology (as opposed to fixating on illness and emotional issues) and focusing on health-enhancing behaviour and the things we love in life can actually make us healthier in both the mind and body.

Why practicing gratitude is so powerful for stressed-out parents

Parenting can be a challenging experience. You want to raise kind, well-adjusted kids who understand the value of hard work and put in effort to achieve their goals. At the same time, you also want your child to know that they’re loved and accepted for who they are. Because of this, being a parent is one of the most challenging things you’ll ever do as an adult. It’s also one of the most rewarding…and transformative.

Practicing gratitude as a parent can help improve your relationship with them and make you a better parent overall. Here are some powerful benefits of a gratitude practice and how it can help you be a better parent.

The benefits of practicing gratitude as a parent

Make better decisions

Children often use the least amount of effort to get what they want. They don’t fully understand the concept of “effort” yet. Even though it’s frustrating to see your child ask for something over and over and get no response, this is also a great opportunity to teach them about the value of working for something. As a parent, the more you set expectations for your child, the less likely they are to give in to their natural desire for instant gratification. The more you help reinforce your child’s development of the “gratitude muscle,” the more it will strengthen with practice. Practicing gratitude while interacting with your child can help you catch these moments where they show signs of wanting something. It also allows you to redirect them toward something that will be more beneficial for them, such as doing their chores or taking out the garbage.

Have more confidence

The best way to help children learn to trust and rely on you is to trust and rely on them. This means that as a parent, you need to have confidence in your decisions. If you don’t trust yourself to make the right decisions, you won’t be able to help your child learn how to rely on them. When you practice gratitude as a parent, you can begin to notice an increase in confidence. You will feel more in control of your decisions and less afraid of making mistakes, which can be scary for some parents. When you experience a spike in confidence as a result of practicing gratitude, you can pass that confidence along to your children, helping them feel more confident in their decisions.

Build stronger relationships with your child

When parents and children truly connect on an emotional level, there is a whole lot of love exchanged. This kind of connection is what makes for the strongest marriages and the most loving parents. Practicing gratitude can help you build a stronger connection with your child. You can do this by noticing the positive things that happen in your child’s life, even the small moments. You can also notice the things that they do to make you smile, like doing their homework or helping out around the house. When you spend more time focusing on the good things in your child’s life, you can start to feel a shift in your own attitude. You may start to notice that your child’s positive qualities shine just as bright in your mind as they do in real life.

Increase overall happiness

Happiness is a key ingredient to a fulfilling life, whether you’re a parent or not. As a parent, you likely experience a lot of stress over your child’s well-being and happiness. You may even worry that your child isn’t happy enough or has too many challenges in their life. Practicing gratitude can help you increase your overall happiness. As a parent, you may unintentionally be in a constant state of being grateful for your child’s life. When you are constantly grateful, you are more likely to feel positive emotions, like joy, gratitude, and love, which are all scientifically proven to make us happier.

Connect with others in new ways

For many parents, the opportunity to connect with others on an emotional level is rare. Practicing gratitude can help you make deeper connections with others. The simplest way to do this is to notice the people in your life that make you happy. You don’t have to limit this to just family members. When you focus on connecting with others on an emotional level, it can help you break free of the mindset that others are always “out there” trying to hurt you. You may be surprised by the people in your life who make you genuinely happy when you look at it this way

How to get started

Route one: Look up a  “Gratitude Meditation” on YouTube

Say you spend eleven minutes doing it. Eleven minutes thinking about all the good things, people and events in your life. The upshot? You will literally feel like you are bursting with the most amazingly warm feeling from within at the end of it. Chances are you will feel REALLY good.

To put this in context, just think how bad you feel thinking about all that is bad in your life and world for eleven minutes. You would feel pretty grim. This is the polar opposite.

Route two: Start a daily gratitude practice

Gratitude is reportedly something that needs to be tended to on a daily basis. And for many of us time-starved parents, eleven minutes just sounds like ten minutes too many at the end of a long hard day.

So here’s the quick fix. If you’re looking for something to ease the pains of the day other than a glass of wine then do this just before you nod off every night.

Simply close your eyes and think of (or say out loud if you’re feeling brave) three things that you have been grateful for that day. They can be as small and every day as you like. Like the cuddle your child gave you (before they unleashed all hell on you), or the fact that somebody helped you with the washing up (hey, dreams do come true!), or whatever.

Just those three little thoughts of gratitude are enough to move your mind away from any negativity that was pushed on you that day, and will fortify you for the following day ahead. I promise. Have a go and see.

Summing up

As a parent, you are undoubtedly responsible for many things. It can be challenging to keep gratitude alive in an often-stressful situation such as parenting. A gratitude practice can help you meet daily challenges with a bit more confidence and peace of mind. Remember that parenting isn’t always easy, but it’s worth it when you see your child learn and develop into an amazing person. Practicing gratitude can help you remember to be thankful for the challenges that come with raising a child while staying connected to the positive aspects of parenthood, too.

7 comments

  1. I think our family already practices gratitude, for example J has just completed writing 12 thank you letters for his birthday presents… We are always grateful for everything that we are given/ have.

  2. I practice gratitude and it’s helped me through stressful situations. That moment when failure stares me in the face but I decide to be grateful for the small wins I’ve had on the project, really gets me grounded and energizes me to keep going. I don’t pay lip service to the power of gratitude. I know it works and I work it for results in my life.

  3. This is a very important concept. An attitude of gratitude can help refocus adults, and it’s a great attitude to model for our kids.

    Great post!

  4. Hey Tayla,

    It’s so interesting how powerful gratitude is. I toyed with keeping a gratitude journal but I fell behind, and at night I try to think of 3 things I’m grateful for before I go to bed, if I can remember. I forgot how good I feel after I do those things. I’d like to do it with my daughter before bedtime too, as I think it’s an excellent exercise. Thanks for the link to the TED talk, I will check that out!

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