When are you going back to work after baby? A mum rant.


Sometimes, it feels like you’ve only just popped one out before one of the most irritating questions mums can be asked is batted your way – when are you going back to work after baby? *Sigh* parenting problems.

I actually went back to work, against my will, 3 months after having fraggle only to realise what a BIG MISTAKE it was for me (read about it here)..and so am even MORE annoyed when people ask this question (although in my head I am pretending to clobber them like a caveman, outwardly I am all smiles and strawberries, of course).

If you find this one of THE most annoying questions of motherhood, and pissed off at why everyone always feels like we need to rush this motherhood thing along and get back to work…I think you’ll enjoy this poem I penned….

When are you going back to work?

When are you going to get a job?

You’ll lose your skills

Your brain will rot

Yes I’m tired of hearing the whole damn lot

Your talent will fade

You’ll have no purpose in life

Why isn’t it enough to be a mother and wife?

It’s a conscious lifestyle choice I craved

It’s not like some mindless decision I made

Besides the by

In case you knew not

I’ve already got a job, you lot!

Yes it’s called being mum

With some blogger moonlighting in the run

And guess what you meddlers…

It’s absolutely enough!

So thanks for your concern

About how us mums opted out

From the stress and strife of working

Which made us want to shout

But you can save it for somebody else

Who might possibly give two hoots

Because I’m afraid for me at least

The subject is not moot

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  1. I put that one up there with “when are you starting a family?” Asked as soon as you’ve settled down with someone. I wish I didn’t have to work but ar least it was in my own good time! Great poem

  2. I hate it when people ask, I automatically shut down the question as soon as possible! The reason I hate it is twofold

    1) It assumes that working is a ‘normal life’ and having a baby is a ‘break’ from this, people love you to get back to their idea of normality (WTF is more normal that being with and nurturing your children?

    2) It invades MY private time with work thoughts which I just hate. I don’t hate my job at all, in fact I am very fond of it BUT when I am away I’m away, I don’t want it to occupy any mind space at the moment thank you – its called ‘leave’ for a reason.

    End. Of. Rant.


  3. People just do not seem to get it. I have a small home business and of course blogging and I still get when are you planning to go back to work.. Erm no plans at the moment, this is what is right for me and my family thanks.

    Well said! X

  4. Once upon a time it would have been “Ohhh you’re not a working mother are you? What about your children?” Now it’s the reverse, we just can’t win. Women will always be ‘told’ what they should be doing, men never get this nonsense. Do what’s right for you and feel good about it…amen. I work 30 hours and would love to work less because being a mum IS a full time job in itself and I run rings around myself trying to do everything. Love your poems clever cloggs 🙂 xx

  5. Fantastic! I must get asked this question weekly, by the same neighbour. I don’t want work to define me so I get fed up of it too, plus you’d think she would remember as she only asked me last week (and she doesn’t have any memory issues). #thethruthabout

  6. Sadly I think it’s up there with the other typical mum questions like ‘when will you have baby no. 2/3/4?’ Or ‘what, you’re not going to give him/her a sibling?’ Or worse still – prior to even becoming a mum (age 38), as in my case – ‘no kids? Oh you’re a career girl then?’ Such insensitivity!

    My best example of ‘when do you think you’ll come back to work’ has actually been from my bosses at said place of work – before I’m even on mat leave! Quickly followed by a ‘of course I know I’m not allowed to ask but just out of curiosity’. As if that little follow up disclaimer means they can bypass the HR rules of not being able to ask that very question.

    Every decision a woman or man takes regarding their career and choice to return to work or not, is ultimately their business. Many a sleepless night will be spent considering the pros and cons, the ‘what ifs’, the ‘but hows’. These decisions aren’t always taken lightly, often it isn’t even a matter of having the choice either way, and yet the question is raised so easily, so flippantly. the only way to respond to such an offhand question is with an offhand answer.

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