Ridiculous things you do with your child free time

child free time

We all crave it, would do anything for it…that glorious child free time, that me-time when you can do whatever the hell pleases you. Maybe you’ve been given a weekend off to spend some quality time with your other half or you have a play date booked in when your child is old enough for you to escape.

Yes somehow….just somehow….

things don’t go according to plan. You should be looking like the woman above – or at least doing all the amazing things you had planned like going for a manicure, doing some yoga, having a date night, blobbing in front of Netflix eating ice cream or whatever it was you imagined in your daydreams you would do with that golden time.

Nope, none of it will would come to fruition.

Instead, the bidiot (that’s big idiot to you and me) that you are will most likely end up:

Making that tip to Ikea (why oh why!?)

You try and convince yourselves that the meatballs and the trolley tricks made it worth using your child free time worth it, but we both know what the truth is.


Moving furniture around

Why oh why would you?! But in pursuit of your never ending war against mess you think it would be a good idea to use your child free time to move your furniture around. Last time we did this we moved a piano across the kitchen floor and scratched the living hell out of it! Let that learn us.


Wasting time doing DIY

Here’s the one when you think it’s would be a good idea to use your child free time to fix said thing in the house, only to not only not be able to fix it, but also break something else in the process, and potentially injure yourself while you’re at it. No, just no!

Nursing a hangover

Yes you’ve had this glorious child free time on the cards for so long, but then big uh oh! What do you go and do? Get absolutely steaming the night before and literally not be able to move your head off the sofa. Now I’d like to blame that on sods law but then again…..


Sorting out that nightmare cupboard

We hear you – the war against clutter is real when you are a mum! But you know you’re never going to win this battle. That is, unless you happen to be Mary Poppins.


Cleaning out the car

Life is cruel – you accidentally took a look at the back seat of your family car and saw that it looked like a war zone just as you waved the children off. The urge to barf at the sight of it and swiftly tidy it up was just to strong too resist.

Catching up on your massive to do list

Hell hath no fury like a to-do list left for weeks and weeks. It seemed liked
using your child free time to do battle with your to do list would be a good idea at the time. So you called one doctor and one dentist and there are still a bajillion items left on it.  ***Sigh*** If only we could pass on our to-do to our dog.

Cleaning out the fridge

Because there is only so long you can live with a fridge that smells like a giant did a fart in there.


Rsvping to a bajillion party invites

And here’s the tragic thing – they are not even party invites for you! Yup, they are your children’s who have a wayyyy better social life than you could ever dream of. Read it and weep.

And just like that, your dream of child free time vanishes with a poof into thin air.

Have you found yourself getting tied up with any of the above during precious child free time? Do leave a comment and share.



  1. All of these. I do remember cleaning all the front windows of the house which I only really did so I could watch for my MIL’s car to come round the corner and bring my daughter back

  2. Ikea! Not sure I would do that no purpose. Hmm, although maybe for the hotdogs. Pivot! We still do that joke every time we move furniture. Fab. Xx

  3. This is totally me! My husband last weekend spent all day in bed with a hangover, still not letting him live it down haha

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