An A-Z of the most annoying advice given to parents

As if trying to get to grips with being a parent isn’t challenging enough, some people like to think that some annoying advice thrown into the mix should sort things out a treat. Here, a fantastic collection of parenting bloggers share some of the most annoying advice they have received to date as parents…

Picture of a woman screaming with hands up by her head

A for APP THIS

I curse the day anyone told me about this ‘great breastfeeding tracker app’ when I had my first daughter. I used it from the first feed onwards and became totally obsessed with it. As in, I couldn’t actually feed the baby without my phone to hand, and became neurotic about¬†timings between each feed. In hindsight I should have just trusted my maternal instincts! Apparently mums have breastfed without mobile phone apps since the dawn of civilisation ūüėČ needless to say next time around, breastfeeding was a little more relaxed! –¬†Sarah from Mum Muddling Through¬†

B for BANISH THE BABY CARRIER

Don’t use one of those baby carriers she’ll never learn to walk”. –¬†Hannah from Hi Baby Blog¬†

C for CRY IT OUT

Let her cry it out – if you keep picking her up she will never sleep’.¬†Worst advice ever! Controlled crying totally wasn’t for us, and funnily enough – even though I went to her every time she cried – she slept through at 5 months old and still does now.-¬†Kate, from My Family Fever¬†

D for DON’T SPOIL THE BABY

Don’t spoil the baby… You’ll make a rod for your own back”¬†My baby. My choice! –¬†Beth from¬†Twinderelmo.co.uk

E for ENJOY EVERY MOMENT

“Enjoy every minute” is one that really used to upset me with my first. I didn’t understand why so many older people (who had children) were saying it to me. No matter how positive I am, it is virtually impossible to enjoy every single minute! –¬†Esther from¬†Inside Out & About¬†

F for FORGET THE BREASTFEEDING

If you breastfeed, your other half won’t be able to bond with baby”.¬†Jog on love! Helen –¬†Helen from from¬†Yummyblogger.com

G for GIVE THE SLING A SKIP

Don’t wear them in a sling, they’ll get too used to it and never sleep anywhere else”…amongst other things I have rolled my eyes at. –¬†Sophie from Sophie and Lily¬†

H for HA HA HA HOME COOKED??!

All this organic, home cooked meals and no junk food. We all had Heinz jars and crisp and coke and we grew up just fine”…from a severely overweight relative whose siblings are ALL overweight and who is herself a mother. –¬†Prabs from Absolutely Prabulous¬†

I for IT’S JUST A PHASE

The ‚Äúsquealing lights flashing red light‚ÄĚ kind of annoying toy from hell parenting advice I have ever received is the one line -“This is just a phase”, the presumed antidote to all parenting problems. Imagine you have clambered the hills and mountains, crossed piranha infected water, burnt off leeches and not changed underwear for 39.33 days just to meet this wise old tribal medicinal woman of all motherhood for some help and the only thing she says to you is “It’s just a phase.” ¬†How helpful is that advice when you have a tantruming spawn from hell, a night walker who stalks the family or a picky toddler who survives on white bread and strawberry jam, summing up all the moments when you feel so useless as a mother and making you feel even more helpless? –¬†El from Agent Spitback

J for JUST BITE BACK

“If he hits/bites then hit or bite back so he’ll learn how it feels.”¬†Um – no! He’ll just learn that hitting or biting is an acceptable way to get your point across and/or that might is right…-¬†Milla from Live Oxfordshire¬†

K for KEEP THE GENDER SPECIFIC

Don’t dress your daughter in “boy’s clothes” (a baby cricket sweater to be specific), it will confuse her… Riiight. –¬†Jess from Babi a Fi ¬†

L for LIE DOWN ALWAYS!!!

If they sit up before 4 months it’ll damage their back, make sure he’s always laying for now…”-¬†Lizzie from FirstTooth ¬†

M for MUST MEDICATE

The one I’m getting at the min is ‘ that’s a painful cry you going to give her calpol !!’ No I’m not unless she is actually poorly !! –¬†Jessica from Beauties and The Bibs¬†

N for NO NIGHT FEEDS

Babies don’t need night feeds after 6 months’ . Complete and utter nonsense – night feeds aren’t just for nutritional benefits, but emotional ones too. Adults aren’t expected to be shut in their rooms without food or water for 12 hours, so why should babies?…¬†–¬†Vivienne from¬†Another Bun¬†

O for ONLY ONE BOTTLE

“Let’s just give her one bottle and see if she’ll take it.” Lazy nurse who didn’t want to spend the time cup-feeding my preemie when she was ready to have her NG tube removed (and wouldn’t allow me in case I did it wrong). Erm, no – let’s leave the tube in if necessary, and when the time is right I’ll go back to BREASTFEEDING. –¬†Kate from The Less Refined Mind

P for PUDDLE PANIC

“You shouldn’t let her play in the puddles, she will catch a cold!” Actually no, a cold is a virus. –¬†Vicky from Being Tilly’s Mummy¬†

Q for QUIT WORRYING

Don’t worry, she’ll grow out it! Don’t worry?? My daughter hasn’t wanted to eat anything for a week and you’re telling me not to worry? Seriously, are you listening to yourself right now? –¬†Talya from Motherhood: The Real Deal¬†

R for ROD FOR YOUR OWN BACK

“Rod for your own back” – the amount of times people have told me doing things like Co sleeping, picking up when they cry, baby led weaning etc… even babywearing will make me a rod for my own back is untrue! –¬†Lauren from Belle Du Brighton¬†

S for STAND UP? BE CAREFUL!

Don’t let her stand up like that, you’ll make her bow-legged!” –¬†Grace from Dear Freya¬†

T for TRY TO “BED IN”

I was told when my daughter was 4 months old by a mum whose baby was a similar age that I needed to spend 1 day a week having a ‘nurse in’ in bed to ensure my body made enough breast milk for her. 1 whole day a week. In bed. For the entire time I intended to breast feed for. I mean, what mother has time for that clearly unnecessary event?! –¬†Mim from Love From Mim

U for UP YOUR MILK SUPPLY

“If you breastfed more you’d up your milk supply” when I told the health visitor that I’d introduced one bottle of formula for my daughter of an evening so I had a break and daddy could do a feed. I told her a happy mummy was better and would make fora happy baby and I breastfed the rest of the day thanks! –¬†Geraldine from Jog on Mum¬†

V for VACATION WILL SORT IT OUT

Shockingly, the worst advice I ever received was from a GP. My son was 9 weeks old and I was very unwell with anxiety and PND. My husband had to accompany me to the doctors as I didn’t like to be alone and I so anxious I could hardly get my thoughts or words together. After explaining my difficulties to the locum GP she said “What have you got to be depressed about? You have a lovely new baby and the sun is shining outside.” ¬†She suggested a holiday to cheer me up. The most ridiculous, misinformed and frankly dangerous “advice” I could have received in my current state. Thankfully, I found support in other, less ignorant, healthcare providers and eventually made a full recovery. –¬†Laura from The Butterfly Mother¬†

W for WINDOW OPPORTUNITY

The “window of opportunity” with weaning! Thanks for that, Daily Mail! My mother in law was worried we had missed the window because we did BLW at 6 months. Because clearly there are adults that still don’t eat food and just have milk. Oliver eats EVERYTHING (except mushrooms) and she soon changed her mind as she excitedly got her camera out at every meal! –¬†Natalie – Diary of An UnExpectant Mother

X for X-TENDED REAR CAR FACING IS CRUEL

“Extended rear facing (car seat) is cruel and they have no where to put their feet. ”
My son happily rearfaced until beyond 4yrs old and 109cm with very long legs. It isn’t always more expensive now either as cheaper ERF seats have been brought out. I’m a single mum on benefits but I saved my arse off and went without to buy the safest seat I could. –¬†Hannah from Hannah Spannah¬†

Y for YOU TURNED OUT OK

I did it with you and you turned out okay/ are still alive!” –¬†Ayse from arepops¬†

Z for ZZZZZ WHEN THE BABY SLEEPS

Sleep when the baby sleeps !!!!!” Ahhhhh RAGE I had a non sleeping baby. It makes me want to punch people….. breath ……-¬†Alyssa from Mum To A Monster¬†

Does this ring a bell? What annoying advice have you been given as a parent? Do leave a comment and vent!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

35 comments

  1. Fab post, really gave me a giggle ūüôā
    I was pretty shocked at Laura’s one though about the PND. That’s the worst advice I’ve ever heard and for a GP to say you have nothing to be depressed about is ridiculous. Way to make sure a mother who needs help will not ask again!
    Debbie

  2. Oh this is so good – I felt exhausted by the end – all that advice that you don’t want -go with your instincts or maybe just the advice of someone you trust! Loved the one about enjoy every moment – who the hell does that? Screams not normal right there! #coolmumclub

  3. The whole time I was thinking of my worst piece of received advice and it came in at Z; “sleep when the baby sleeps”….Sure!! Not likely, especially when it’s not your first baby! #coolmumclub

  4. Oh goodness so many of these brought back memories! That last one….AS IF!!!

    Thanks for being the co-host with the most and letting me be a part of this fab post xx

  5. Loved this. Sleep when baby sleeps? Hahahaaaaaaa! I also had a non sleeping baby. He woke every 20 minutes all through the night and only napped once a day for twenty minutes (if I was lucky). That’s not exaggerating either. The ‘stay in bed all day once a week’ had me laughing out loud too. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Especially when you also have a mischievous 21 month old to look after too.

    #coolmumclub

  6. Now that my children are older and at school, do you think it is acceptable for me to take some of the advice in reterospect? Sleeping during the day? Yes please.
    Worst bit of ‘advice’ I ever had? Where do I start?
    Currently, my least desirable parenting skill amongst several of my husband’s relatives is that I still carry my 5 year old in a Tula on long days out. This serves the multiple purposes of giving his little legs a rest / saving us all from copious moaning as he is tired and stopping him from doing a runner as he pegs it off to explore that interesting thing over there. But no, I am making him lazy.
    #coolmumclub

  7. I love this! Sleep when the baby sleeps was the advice that really did my head in. For the first 7 months, my daughter would only sleep in a moving pram or in the carrier – not exactly positions that would allow me a quick kip. #coolmumclub

  8. There is so much of this I’m nodding along with – Don’t spoil them really annoys me! And “you turned out fine” – yes well there is a lot more medical advice about nowadays!! xx #coolmumclub

  9. Yes, YES, yes. I think I was told every single sodding one of these and it drove me insane. The one I really hated was the one about not breastfeeding as it means my husband won’t be able to bond with baby. I had to bite my tongue when I was told this so that I didn’t shout B*llocks! All crazy. We need to just go with the flow ūüôā #coolmumclub

  10. Hahaha love this! I’ve recently just done a post on my current favourite: “You’ll need to get eyes in the back of your head now”. Right. OK then. I’ll do that.

    Fantastic.
    Thanks for hosting hun x #coolmumclub

  11. Wow, some of those are fantastic! I always remember smiling sweetly and then doing what I thought was right on the basis that I was the one who was going to have to live with it afterwards!

  12. Ha ha, when I saw the title I wondered how on earth you were going to manage a whole alphabet’s worth of ‘advice’ but reading through it you’ve reminded me that people have sooooooooooooo much knowledge to share with a new mother! ūüôā I particularly remember my mum telling me to rub whiskey on the gums to help with teething as that’s what she did with me and my brother. #coolmumclub

  13. Ha some of these are absolutely brilliant. Especially the sling one! I wear my little one in a sling regularly and the amount of comments I get such as “ooh he can’t be comfy in that”, “your spoiling him” or “babies shouldn’t be in things like that” infuriates me. Keep your nose out, love. We are quite happy as we are! #coolmumclub

  14. There are so right shockers in here!!! Its crazy how people think they can just interfere and that they are actually being useful. Thanks for sharing a funny but crazy post.#Coolmumclub

  15. This is so very true – can relate to most of these and have got very good at just smiling and blithely ignoring the advice. “Don’t spoil the baby” and making a rod for your own back are my two biggest bugbears. I also hate it when people tell me that if I co-sleep with my children they’ll never learn to sleep alone – I’ll be very surprised if they’re still wanting to sleep in my bed when they’re 18!

  16. I’ve gotten quite a few of these as advice myself, haha. It’s so important to learn to trust yourself and your own instincts when you’re a mom. Because everyone is going to think they know better than you. More than anything, I think motherhood has given me a spine! #coolmumclub

  17. Great post! Some of them made me laugh and others were all too familiar! The most ridiculous advice I have received is: ‘too many cuddles spoils the baby’ (?!?)

  18. Oooo the rod for your own back thing… pfff the amount of times I have had this said to me for various reasons. Well here is my rod and I’m sticking it up your… (I’ll let you fill in the blank).
    #coolmumclub

  19. Nodding along with most and in utter shock at a couple! A great post. I guess us Mum’s just learn to nod and smile! #coolmumclub

  20. What a brilliant collection! I think I’ve heard pretty much every one of them too, even though I wouldn’t say I considered my parents in particular to be interfering. The ‘you turned out ok’ is a classic – I usually throw my Mum the ‘look’, followed by “Did I? Really?….” #coolmumclub

  21. […] read a fabulous article the other day by Talya at Motherhood The Real Deal on the most annoying advice given to parents. An […]

  22. Brilliant! I’ve never even heard of a ‘nurse-in’ – how ridiculous! It also makes absolutely no sense, in terms of the regularity with which extra feeds are needed to establish a supply related to that. One day a week wouldn’t be establishing anything. Except maybe bed sores! I hate all the ‘they’ll get spoiled’/cry it out/rod for your back stuff too. & I have heard the ‘bite back’ (won’t say where from) & was horrified! The comments about ERF annoy me too. How silly. Especially as they just need to sit cross legged, which is recommended & encouraged for children & not bad for them at all. #coolmumclub

  23. Heaps of great posts here. Why do other mums feel like they should say these things? A few bits of advice I got were helpful. Most not so much.

  24. I had so many of these. The ‘rod for your own back’ one was my biggest bug bear when mt 2 month old used to pretty much live on my chest!

    And congratulations, this post has been added to the #BlogCrush linky by someone who thought it was super fab! Feel free to collect you “I’ve been featured” blog badge.

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