I’ve lost count of the times I’ve not felt great about myself as a mum. It may have been due to a loss of confidence in the early days, the identity shift that knocks so many of us sideways, because we’re worried about the things we have said and done as a parent and overcome with mum guilt. The list goes on. In today’s world where expectations are sky high, and the pressure to be the perfect mum has never been greater, it can be hard to love yourself as a mum. Instead, we are more likely to battle with feelings of failure, self-loathing and a longing to be something more than we are. How did we get here? Moreover, how do we get out of here?
Nine years down the line I’ve learned the hard way just how important it is to love yourself as a mum. It took me many years and a lot of work on myself to get there. And finally, I made it. But if you are still stuck in that period where you are feeling hopeless, full of self-doubt, and the fear that you are letting your kids down (which if we are honest all of us have experienced at some point during motherhood), then here to help you reframe all of that and help you to love yourself as a mum is Jo Warwick, therapist and author of The Big Book Of Love with her words to help you love and embrace the mum and woman that you are now.
7 tips to love yourself as a mum
Love the one thing
Choose one thing you like or love about your body and focus on it for 5 – 10mins every morning or last thing at night every day for a week ( or longer if you love how good it feels) Out-loud speak to your body about why you like it. You’ll notice that you soon begin to think of other things about your body and what it can do that you love. This positive focused attention will energise you, uplift you, unlock more love for you and the law of attraction will naturally add to this high vibe.
Breathe it away
Take 5x big deep slow breaths multiple times a day and when you wake up, feel stressed, overwhelmed or a bit negative and last thing at night. Breathe in through your nose, and out through your mouth, making a BIG sighing noise as you do so. This will instantly calm your parasympathetic nervous system and release the pressure and lift your mood. You can do this anywhere and everywhere and you’ll become addicted to how good you feel afterwards! Imagine it’s just like emptying your kitchen bin!
Give yourself a hug
It’s so easy to give hugs to your children or partner but sometimes we need to give ourselves a hug. Giving is not the same as receiving, so take time to give yourself a hug every day. Wrap your arms around your body and squeeze, rock and speak kind words to yourself as you would to your child. I guarantee this will make you feel so deeply loved and increase your energy and positive attitude.
Look yourself in the eye
We think we look at ourselves in the mirror but often it’s a cursory glance or negative assessment. Instead, choose to take 1 – 5 minutes to really gaze into your own eyes, see only your eyes and keep looking until you feel a connection to your own inner self, your soul. Do this every day for a week and you will be so much more connected to who you really are and the love you deserve to give yourself and receive from others.
Love your favourite things
Take 1-5 minutes to think first thing in the morning or when you’re doing the washing up or laundry to think about the favourite things you love. Say out aloud “ I love. I love. I love” 5 x and then say things that you love in your life. Be natural, be honest and when you can’t think of any more just say “thank you 3 x.” You soon notice if you do this often that more loveable things flood your mind
Take time for you
When you have children, especially young ones you can easily lose control of time and begin to feel overwhelmed as you are not getting time for yourself to recharge. A simple tool is to use the timer on your mobile phone to chunk your day and set time for yourself. Using the tool may feel routined but it can save your sanity as you set little time boundaries to do the exercises above or to have a bath and simple rest doing nothing. Stop yourself saying “I don’t have time” – instead, “I take back time for myself”. Even if it’s just 10 mins here and there you feel like you have more control and are more loved.
Turn it all off
Feeling overwhelmed? Don’t be afraid to turn off your phone & social media, turn off the TV or radio and close the papers. Take time away from the onslaught of noise in the world. The world is full of negative perceptions and so help yourself to connect with love and value and honour yourself more by turning it all off – just for a while. You don’t have to wait until you have a holiday. You can do it today and enjoy a little more peace and quiet and perhaps head to nature for some softer sounds.
Such a great post, it really is far too easy to forget about yourself when you are a Mum. Taking time out and remembering you are you is so important
Amazing tips! Take time for yourself! I wish I can do that, I do it but I think I should do it more.
Every mother needs to read this. It’s so easy for us to be too hard on ourselves or never make any time for ourselves.
This is so important for all mums to read. Too many people put themselves down and don’t take time for themselves which are musts x
This is a great reminder that moms really need to take the time needed to take the best care of themselves. They do so much for everyone else and deserve the world!
Whether your a mom or not these are great tips for keeping in alignment with yourself during times of stress. Great tips!
Being a mother is so challenging, and it’s easy to put your children ahead of your own mental health. These are some good tips to keep yourself in focus and love yourself a bit more! Thank you for sharing.
This is such a powerful post and it did hit home. I feel new struggling mums would feel the same when they read this and understand how important it is to love yourself as a mum