Going through a separation or divorce is a challenging, stressful and mentally taxing time – even for people without children, property or pets. Many challenges arise and can make a stressful time even more hectic.
There are ways to help clear this confusion and find the support and structure that will help guide you through the troubled waters. Let’s look at a few of these in some more depth now.
The last thing you need during this often fraught and stressful time is the additional burden of conflict that can come when approaching divorce traditionally. If you’re on otherwise (considering the circumstances) civil terms with your ex-partner, you may wish to speak to a family lawyer who specialises in the art of ‘civilised separation’.
This approach aims to disentangle your shared resources while preserving existing relationships, and without enacting further damage. There are many benefits to this approach, especially if there are children involved, or any other complicating factors.
Working with a trained, legally-versed specialist will help to reassure you that the complexity associated with traditional divorce can be simplified, allowing you some time to breathe and plan your next steps.
Lean On Me
Re-establishing your friendships and social groupings can be a great way to enhance your support network, while also providing you a much-needed outlet in a time of such stress and unsureness.
Don’t be afraid to reach out to friends and family members and ask for their support and time. An act as simple as a regular dinner or a social coffee can make all the difference to your mental wellbeing and may provide you with the time for pause and distraction that you need. It may also help to form a new sense of identity and routine, an important step in detaching from your old relationship and moving forward.
Join The Club
Another great way to bring interest, stress-release and joy into your life at this time is to rekindle your interests in leisure pursuits. If you’ve ever been interested in travelling, learning a language, picking up a craft or a trade, now is a fantastic time to do so.
Engaging with leisure pursuits – especially new ones – helps to drive an ongoing sense of your identity, and will help you to position yourself as an individual within a greater community. It’s also a great way to meet new friends and to explore outlets for communication and release which may be otherwise hard to access or unavailable.
Leisure pursuits are also a great way to reconnect with old friends, and can provide an opportunity for bonding again. Children can also be included and initiated into your leisure activities – it may be important to also provide them with stimulation and opportunities for growth.
Take Your Time
Taking your time to discover your own needs is another huge part of mental self care when going through a life event like divorce. A great way to enable this time alone is to partake in a solitary mindfulness activity, such as yoga, meditation or exercise.
Exercise can benefit your mind in much the same way as meditation.
It can allow for greater internal focus while also improving physical health and mental clarity. Any exercise which encourages both physical activity and constant rhythm can be useful for obtaining this benefit. Think cycling, walking, running or swimming; they can all be performed alone and benefit from focus on rhythm, environment and breathing.
Finding the right support and outlets for your emotions at this time can be tricky, but it’s important to remember that you’re not alone, and there are places you can get help and support if you so require. Listening to your inner voice and allowing yourself the time to breathe, to heal and to remain still are often skills which are hard to learn. Now is the time to master these, and to allow the light to emerge from within.
I hope these tips help anyone reading this going through a divorce or separation right now. And if you have already travelled down this road and have any advice to share please do so in a comment below.
*This is a collaborative post
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