It’s interesting how self-care has somehow ended up with a very specific image attached to it because if you hear the phrase, there’s a good chance you’ll immediately picture scented candles, face masks, bubble baths, expensive skincare products, matching pyjamas, and somebody drinking herbal tea while sitting under a blanket. And don’t get us wrong, if those things make you happy then that’s great, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying them, but the reality is that real self-care is often different for different people.
In fact, some of the most important forms of self-care are the things people actively avoid doing because they’re awkward, boring, uncomfortable, or need a bit of effort, and that’s what makes the whole subject slightly confusing because people often assume self-care should feel relaxing all the time, when actually a lot of it is just looking after yourself properly, even when you’d rather not. With that in mind, keep reading to find out what real self-care actually looks like.
Sometimes It Means Dealing With Things
One of the reasons people end up feeling stressed is because little problems hang around in the your mind for a long longer than they should – it might be a letter you’ve been meaning to deal with, a phone call you’ve been putting off, an appointment you know you should book, or a conversation you’ve been avoiding because you’re worried it might be uncomfortable, and so on.
The strange thing is that these situations often take up far more energy while you’re avoiding them than they do once you’ve actually dealt with them, so when you think about it, that’s why self-care is sometimes about reducing the number of things taking up space in your head in the first place, and that can make a huge difference to how you feel.
Looking After Your Mind Is Just As Important
People are generally quite good at recognising physical signs that they need to slow down – if they’re exhausted, ill, or run down, they’ll usually accept that something needs to change.
Mental wellbeing can be a bit different because stress, anxiety, overwhelm, and constant worry often build up gradually, which means people get used to feeling that way without necessarily realising how much it’s affecting them. The result is that they keep pushing through because that’s what they’ve always done, even though they’re finding everyday life much harder than it needs to be.
That’s why looking after your mental health deserves the same attention as looking after your physical health. For some people that might mean making more time for rest, for others it could mean setting better boundaries, speaking to somebody they trust, or exploring options such as anxiety hypnotherapy if they feel it could help them manage difficult thoughts and feelings more effectively.
The important thing is recognising that your mind needs looking after too, even if there’s no obvious warning light telling you when something’s wrong.
Self-Care Doesn’t Have To Look Impressive
There’s a tendency to think that self-care needs to involve big things, but when you actually look at the things that help people feel better over the long term, they’re often quite ordinary like getting enough sleep, drinking more water, going for a walk, spending less time staring at a screen, eating something that isn’t grabbed in a rush between other tasks, or perhaps having an evening where you don’t try to be productive every second.
So that all means that most people don’t need a complete lifestyle transformation; they usually just need a few small things that help them feel a bit more balanced and a little less overwhelmed.
It Doesn’t Have To Be Perfect
One thing that puts people off self-care is the feeling that they’re somehow doing it wrong because they see articles about perfect morning routines, complicated wellness habits, and carefully planned schedules, and before long it starts to feel like another thing they’re failing to keep up with.
Don’t feel bad, though, because most people can’t do all that – they’ve got a life to live (and social media is curated, of course). What we means is that some weeks you’ll get plenty of sleep and feel organised, and other weeks you’ll be eating dinner later than you’d planned, forgetting half the things on your to do list, and wondering where the day went. It’s totally normal.
Real self-care is basically about paying attention to yourself and making adjustments when you need them – some days that might mean being productive and getting things sorted, and on other days it might mean accepting that you’re tired and giving yourself permission to slow down.
Sometimes It Means Saying No
This is probably one of the most difficult parts of self-care because most people genuinely want to be helpful, meaning they’ll say yes to favours, extra responsibilities, social plans, work requests, and all sorts of other commitments because they don’t want to disappoint anyone. But the problem is that if you say yes to absolutely everything, something eventually has to give, and very often the thing that gets sacrificed is your own time.
That’s why learning to say no occasionally can be such an important skill. You don’t have to be rude about it, but you need to remember to protect your own energy, especially because it’s impossible to take care of others when you’re completely run down and exhausted.
Doing Things You Actually Enjoy Counts
Guess what? Enjoying yourself and having fun is good for you, but the issue is that as adults, a lot of our time ends up focused on responsibilities because there are bills to pay, jobs to do, errands to run, emails to answer, and countless other things demanding our attention.
That’s why making time for hobbies, interests, and activities you genuinely enjoy can be an important form of self-care, and it doesn’t really matter whether that’s reading, gardening, exercising, painting, gaming, baking, walking, or something completely different because the activity itself isn’t the important part; the important part is having something in your life that exists just because you enjoy it.
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