Ahhhh the amazing journey of motherhood….it never fails to keep us on our toes! From being totally questionable on the hygiene front, to becoming an extreme caffeine junkie and having speed skills that could rival Usain Bolt here are 10 things I didn’t expect I’d be as a mother…
1. So tense
I always had visions of me wafting around in my maternal state much like a hippy in one of those vile floaty cheese cloth dresses that people only wear in their right minds on holidays. Instead I am a fizzing ball of tension ready to bounce of the walls on any given minute.
2. So virtuous
Let’s face it…I am not a virtuous person! But somehow I seem to be referencing an imaginary book of virtues which I didn’t even know existed until I became a mum when it comes to child rearing. Picking your nose? Utterly disgusting! Scratching your bum? How horrendous. Flashing your knickers in public? Oh the shame! Hmmm how convenient that I seem to have such a short term memory of my own childhood behaviours.
3. So fast
Clearing up a mess in no time….catching a falling glass mid air like you are a superhero….running for the bus with your preschooler on your hip like your life depended on it….which at the time it probably did. I never would have expected how much of my life would rely on me being fast….and how fast I would get at pretty much everything.
4. So good at making something out of leftovers
Once upon a time…leftovers would sit in the fridge and reluctantly end up in the food recycling bin by the end of the week. Now every other day becomes The Left Over Challenge – a new reality show where me and a raft of imaginary contestants battle it out to make the most passable meals from shaky leftovers…coming to a house near you soon on Netflix.
5. So good at wearing the same bra for as long as I can remember
Remember the days of twos days then in the wash. Oh no, now it’s hmmmm….I wonder how long that bra has been on top of the washing basket for? A week? Two? Three…hmmm if it passes the sniff test, it’s on!
6. So bad at functioning without coffee
Seriously, once upon a time, coffee was a luxury I might slope off to get mid way through the day when I wanted to escape from the snore of my work desk. Now, if it’s not in my system by 9.30am GOD HELP EVERYONE IN MY PATH!
7. So good at making out everything doesn’t matter
Your bike broke…hey don’t worry! There’s a weird piece of crusty something in your food – no problem! There’s no more loo roll – give it a shaky shaky. I now know how to diffuse a looming crisis better than a bomb confuser.
8. So grateful for me time
Ahhhhhh the sound of silence….nuff said.
9. So happy to mindlessy watch a bajillion episodes of Paw Patrol at the end of the day
I’m even quite happy that I know all the theme song words too!
10. So good at making god-knows-what out of the recycling bin
Water walls, drums, rain catchers, dream catchers, marble runs, train stations – hey maybe even a guitar one day! I’ve found myself making the most bizarre array of items but hey – anything goes in the name of staying sane as a mum
on a rainy afternoon. Yup, I have become addicted to recycling craft
like my life depended on it (which in fairness, a lot of the time it most probably has).
What things didn’t you expect you’d be as a mother? Do any of the above ring true with you? Do leave a comment and share.
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