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Although I’ve always come across to the outside world as confident, the truth is that I’ve not always felt comfortable in my own skin. A product of a chaotic childhood, growing up with a cross-cultural identity that felt extremely rare at the time, for a large part of my life I was quietly battling my inner demons. The reality is I’ve had to work really hard on myself, to deal with my imperfections, anxieties and become the person who I am today. So to say I know a thing or two about striving to feel more comfortable in your own skin is a bit of an understatement!

When we think about embracing who we are and wanting to be comfortable in your own skin, a lot of people think this has to do with looks and body image – but the truth is it goes way deeper than that. That’s why I’ve teamed up with the free dating site We Love Dates and their mission to spread the message that filtered lives are becoming too common, and that we need to get back to being real and to love ourselves unconditionally.

With that said, I’m here to shout loud from the rooftops how you can feel more comfortable in your skin, be real and love yourself unconditionally….

Look after your body and mind

If you respect yourself, and look after your body and mind, then lots of other good things tend to come you way. If you trash yourself both mentally and physically then guess what? The opposite tends to happen, which obviously is not a recipe for feeling comfortable in your own skin.

The bottom line is, you need to take time out to take good care of yourself. That means getting to know your mind and body and all its imperfections and looking after yourself mentally, physically and spiritually. This includes making peace with your past and sitting with your inner demons, and finding ways to work with them or process them so you can leave them behind – but not sweep them under the carpet because that means they are always right there ready to pounce on you at any time!

Stay in your own lane

I’ve said this many times before here, but comparison is really the thief of all joy. One of the best ways to feel comfortable in your own skin is to condition yourself to not give two hoots about what others are thinking, doing or saying. The best way to feel comfortable in your own skin is subscribing to the notion of “you do you” which is pretty much what it says on the tin. This – and also knowing that you can’t be everything to everyone, and nor should you be!

Go on a journey of discovery

Do you really know yourself completely? Most of us are so busy putting out fires that we probably don’t have the time to really get to know ourselves. Thankfully you don’t have to have an Eat Pray Love moment and venture off to India (chance would be a fine thing during the pandemic anyway!) to go on a little self-discovery mission. It could be as easy as keeping a self-discovery journal. Why not check out this list of guided journals for some inspiration?

If you have issues undealt with, having therapy is a really great way of not only dealing with them but also better knowing yourself too. I know a lot of people are scared of having therapy but after the hard and messy work it honestly left me feeling more confident, empowered and most importantly, more comfortable in my own skin.

Build you self worth

So many of us have self-esteem issues and these can really be a big stumbling block in terms of feeling comfortable in your own skin. If you suffer from low self-esteem, find yourself having a negative inner narative or are carrying around feelings of insecurity then it’s vital to address and work through these.

For a long time I suffered from Imposter Syndrome. Despite the fact I had done all these amazing things in my career to date, I still somehow felt like an imposter…which I now realise is totally ridiculous!

So many women also feel this way, which is probably why we also have such a tendency to seek external validation. One of the best things I did was use the Emotional Freedom Technique (otherwise known as tapping) to overcome my Imposter Syndrome. You can read more about overcoming feelings of insecurity here.

I really love all of Brad Yates’ quick and easy tapping videos just like this one:

Become self-aware

Life is so crazy that most of us pretty much sleepwalk through it. However becoming self-aware – especially in your response to the people and events happening around you – is a brilliant way of anchoring yourself in this world, and therefore feeling more comfortable in your own skin.

Although becoming self-aware doesn’t happen overnight, there are some things you can do to start cultivating self-awareness today including starting a daily meditation habit and practicing mindfulness, incorporating yoga into your day and journaling about your experiences.

I hope you found my insights on becoming comfortable in your own skin useful. Remember, we are all a work in progress, but we can get there if we try. Remember we’re all on a journey and there is definitely no such thing as perfect.