It’s no secret that a woman’s brain changes when she becomes a mother…some like to perceive it as having been rewired for the purposes of being a mum – to help motivate and care for her offspring in parenthood. I like to see it as having been smashed like an egg or melted like a Dali watch, otherwise known as Melted Mum Brain Syndrome (MMBS) – the root of all mum problems and mysteries. Think MMBS could be the source of your mum struggles? Here are 7 signs and symptoms to check for…
1.You have the attention span of a goldfish
You literally can not have a conversation with anybody without your thoughts being hijacked about some pressingly urgent thing you should have done an hour ago before.
2. You can’t tell the difference between the fridge and the dishwasher
You try to put the milk back in the dishwasher and the forks in the fridge. Seriously, what kind of special kind of idiot are you?
3. Your brain is on permanent fast forward setting
Your brain literally does not know anymore how to operate at a normal pace. It pings around a bajillion different things from the minute your eyes open, moving your limbs at breakneck speed despite all the odds, in a Benny Hill-esque mission to complete the laughable amount of tasks you have to do for the day. It’s flight or fight, all day, every day.
4. You suffer from Mum Can’t Make Decisions disorder
Trying to make a decision when you have a little one whinging for attention at full volume is the number one culprit for this increasingly common condition. You wonder you could place a small ad along the lines of Wanted: Someone to make decisions on behalf of mum.
5. Your reflexes are at superhero level
You can catch falling tots, glasses and an array of bump-inducing, noise emanating contraptions with your eyes closed at break neck speed. At least that comes in rather handy.
6. Your sense of pleasure is now entirely warped
It only responds to cake, sleep, silence and wine, and that’s at a push!
7. Your language neurons have mutated
Once capable of unlocking a wide range of eloquent vocabulary, the cogs of your brain are now jammed on the words no, don’t touch that, stop that, and there’s no TV if you don’t do that.
So how did you fair – do you suffer from advanced Melted Mum Brain Syndrome (MMBS) or perhaps only early onset?
If you feel like you might need a little help living with your Melted Mum Syndrome, head over to the #Mommitment Facebook page and group and join other like-minded mums trying to piece their heads together!