Our pets are a huge part of our lives. We form intensely personal connections with them, and they are with us through our best and worst moments. They provide you with unconditional love and affection and offer a shoulder to cry on when times get tough. Their cute furry faces become an integral part of any household and that’s why it’s so difficult to process the loss of a pet.
Losing a pet is one of the most devastating experiences that can happen to any family, and when it happens unexpectedly it can turn your entire life upside down. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a dog, cat, mouse, hamster, or even a lizard: your grief is real and it’s important you know how to deal with it.
Everyone grieves differently. Some people will shed buckets of tears, while others may react to the news in a more subdued way without outpourings of emotion. And it can be a particularly delicate subject for children who have never experienced loss before and may struggle to understand the situation.
If you have recently experienced the loss of a pet, or they are nearing the end of their life, read on to learn some practical advice for coping with loss and moving forward.
Accept your grief
Some people, when faced with a devastating loss, will try to quickly move on with their lives and act as though nothing has happened. Of course, grief is a highly personal emotion, and everyone feels it differently, but you should take care not to brush your feelings under the carpet. You are no doubt feeling sad about your dearly departed animal, so take some time to feel this sadness. Let the feelings wash over you, and have a good cry. You will feel much better afterward and only once you’ve released all these bottled-up emotions can you finally start to move on.
Grieve in your own way
The grief process isn’t the same for everyone. And if you find that you aren’t breaking down into tears over the loss of your pet, you shouldn’t feel guilty or ashamed. Grief is a gradual process and cannot be hurried. You might go several weeks or months without shedding a tear and then suddenly feel the tears flood out when you come across an old dog toy behind the sofa.
Remember that grief is not synonymous with sadness, as many people feel a range of different emotions after losing a loved one. Instead, your particular grief might take the form of denial, anger, guilt, or depression. In the days, weeks, and months, following your loss, be mindful of your thoughts and emotions and consider how your temperament has changed in the elapsed time. If you find you are grumpier or more lethargic than usual, this might be a manifestation of your grief.
Don’t feel guilty
It’s common for bereaved pet owners to feel guilty about losing their animals, and as though they could have done more to keep them alive. However your pet died, there was nothing you could have done. Death is a natural part of life and animals pass away every day. Understandably, you might feel responsible but you can’t blame yourself for matters that were out of your control.
Talk to other people
Keeping all your feelings inside can make the grieving process a lot harder. Talking about how you are feeling to a trusted friend or family member will help you to process your emotions and make sense of what you are going through. If you don’t have anyone with whom you feel comfortable talking, another option is to seek professional help. There are plenty of therapists who specialize in pet loss and they will be able to help you work through your feelings.
It can also help to write about your feelings. Grief sometimes comes as a flurry of painful emotions that create turmoil and frenzy in your mind. This can make it difficult to make sense of your feelings, but writing your thoughts down in a journal can help you articulate any painful and confusing emotions.
Be sensitive with your children
If you have young children, the loss of a pet can take an even larger toll on your family. It’s likely that your kids have not experienced death in their lives before, so they may struggle to understand that their friend is gone for good. It’s essential that you break the news gently, but without shielding them from the truth.
This is a good time to explain the concept of death to them and how it means that their pet will not be coming back. This might be hard for them to take, but as a parent, you must be honest and open with them. Telling them their dog has gone to live on a farm or has run away will only give them false hope and the truth will hit them even harder when they eventually find out.
Reminisce about the good times
Rather than wallowing in sadness, one of the most effective ways of coping with loss is to reminisce about the wonderful memories you shared with your pet. Get your family together to talk and laugh about the good times and the hilarious, such as the day your dog chewed up the sofa or the time your cat got stuck up a tree. If you refrain from talking about your passed pet because it makes you feel sad, then it will eventually become a taboo subject in your household, thereby tainting their memory with sadness.
Create a ritual
When you’ve lost a loved one, it can be hard to move on with your life until you have received a sense of closure. And the best way to do this is to have a shared ritual. The ritual could take the form of a funeral, cremation, memorial ceremony, or a backyard burial. This allows everyone in the family to say goodbye at the same time and share a few words and memories about your pet.
Create mementos
Once your pet is gone and you’ve moved on with your life, you don’t want to forget them and the good times you shared. You will want to remember them fondly and respect their legacy. And you can do this by creating mementos and placing them on display in your home. This way, you will be reminded of them every day and never feel as though they have completely disappeared from your life. Try creating a memory book full of photos of your family spending time with your pet, or hanging up a photo collage on your wall.
Look after your other pets
If you have multiple pets, you might be so wrapped up in your grief that you neglect to give the rest of your animals the attention they deserve. There is a good chance they may be feeling the loss of their companion too, which could manifest itself in lethargy, behavioral changes, or loss of appetite. Try to maintain a sense of normality by keeping to their regular feeding and walking routine. Your other animals can be a huge source of comfort in dark times so reach out to them for affection as often as you need to.
Take care of yourself
It doesn’t matter whether it’s a person or an animal: losing a loved one can take a huge toll on your mental health. You might be so wrapped up in the memorial arrangements and helping your kids to process the news that you are neglecting your wellbeing in the meantime. When you’re grieving, sometimes you want nothing more than to spend the day in bed and eat junk food, but you should also practice self-care and look after yourself.
There’s nothing wrong with occasionally wrapping yourself up in a protective bubble but you should also look after your mind and body. Continue to make time for regular exercise and maintain a healthy diet. You will feel much better and your mind will be clearer as a result, making you much more capable of processing your emotions and moving past the pain.
Move on when you are ready
After the loss of a pet, it can be tempting to buy another cat or dog to fill the void left in their wake. But you shouldn’t rush into these things. Take some time to process your grief and say goodbye to your departed companion before you start Googling “lab pups for sale.”
Bringing a new pet into the family is a huge decision that should not be taken lightly, It can take months, or even years to fully heal from the emotional wound caused by the death of your former pet, so you need to wait until the time is right. Only when you are sure you have processed your grief should you start thinking about getting a new pet.
In conclusion, the loss of a pet is one of the hardest things you can experience in life, and it can take a long time to move past the pain. It’s essential you let yourself grieve in your own way while continuing to remember and memorialize your lost pet before moving on with your life.
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