10 things I didn’t expect I’d be as a mum

expect I'd be as a mum

Ahhhh the amazing journey of motherhood….it never fails to keep us on our toes! From being totally questionable on the hygiene front, to becoming an extreme caffeine junkie and having speed skills that could rival Usain Bolt here are 10 things I didn’t expect I’d be as a mother…

1. So tense

I always had visions of me wafting around in my maternal state much like a hippy in one of those vile floaty cheese cloth dresses that people only wear in their right minds on holidays. Instead I am a fizzing ball of tension ready to bounce of the walls on any given minute.

2. So virtuous



Let’s face it…I am not a virtuous person! But somehow I seem to be referencing an imaginary book of virtues which I didn’t even know existed until I became a mum when it comes to child rearing. Picking your nose? Utterly disgusting! Scratching your bum? How horrendous. Flashing your knickers in public? Oh the shame! Hmmm how convenient that I seem to have such a short term memory of my own childhood behaviours.

3. So fast

Clearing up a mess in no time….catching a falling glass mid air like you are a superhero….running for the bus with your preschooler on your hip like your life depended on it….which at the time it probably did. I never would have expected how much of my life would rely on me being fast….and how fast I would get at pretty much everything.

4. So good at making something out of leftovers

Once upon a time…leftovers would sit in the fridge and reluctantly end up in the food recycling bin by the end of the week. Now every other day becomes The Left Over Challenge – a new reality show where me and a raft of imaginary contestants battle it out to make the most passable meals from shaky leftovers…coming to a house near you soon on Netflix.

5. So good at wearing the same bra for as long as I can remember

Remember the days of twos days then in the wash. Oh no, now it’s hmmmm….I wonder how long that bra has been on top of the washing basket for? A week? Two? Three…hmmm if it passes the sniff test, it’s on!

6. So bad at functioning without coffee

Seriously, once upon a time, coffee was a luxury I might slope off to get mid way through the day when I wanted to escape from the snore of my work desk. Now, if it’s not in my system by 9.30am GOD HELP EVERYONE IN MY PATH!

7. So good at making out everything doesn’t matter

Your bike broke…hey don’t worry! There’s a weird piece of crusty something in your food – no problem! There’s no more loo roll – give it a shaky shaky. I now know how to diffuse a looming crisis better than a bomb confuser.

8. So grateful for me time

Ahhhhhh the sound of silence….nuff said.

9. So happy to mindlessy watch a bajillion episodes of Paw Patrol at the end of the day

I’m even quite happy that I know all the theme song words too!

10. So good at making god-knows-what out of the recycling bin

Water walls, drums, rain catchers, dream catchers, marble runs, train stations – hey maybe even a guitar one day! I’ve found myself making the most bizarre array of items but hey – anything goes in the name of staying sane as a mum on a rainy afternoon. Yup, I have become addicted to recycling craft like my life depended on it (which in fairness, a lot of the time it most probably has).

What things didn’t you expect you’d be as a mother? Do any of the above ring true with you? Do leave a comment and share.

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Gifs via Giphy


  1. Yes, motherhood…Funny thing how we change as we become mothers..I totally relate on the “mom speed”. Sometimes I surprise even myself – in a matter of half an hour I can get myself ready, get my kids ready, make breakfast for my kids, drink coffee, do the laundry, clean up the rooms,! and then my husband gets out of bed slowly without a care in the world and goes to the toilet for half an hour!!!??? How is that even possible? Tell me:)

  2. I feel somewhat like a swam. Looking calm but working very hard beneath it. Smashed cup, broken toy, hurt knee, nightmares – I can deal with it all but beneath that is a mass of things to do and a huge sense of responsibility. Great post, Talya.

  3. Ha ha this cracked me up – you learn a hell of a lot about yourself when you become a Mum and it’s incredible how we manage to achieve so many of these things whilst trying to keep those naughty little babies under control! High Five us! And yes – coffee is a lifeline! xxx #coolmumclub

  4. Love this! I am amazing at multi tasking I can make a packed lunch, cook dinner, clean the kitchen all at the same time and while placating the baby who’s whining for her dinner. Us mums are proper superheroes! #coolmumclub

  5. The bra thing! yes!
    and i used to have loads of them. Nice ones. With matching pants. Now I seem to have 2 that fit. and 3 from pre second pregnancy that i’m still (she’s nearly 1) hoping will fit one day!


  6. Haha, brilliant post! I am definitely with you on the speed thing. You have to move fast but without appearing stressed in case ‘they’ notice and make it worse / hurt themselves / got hold of something first. 🙂 #CoolMumClub

  7. no 9…. YASSSSSS!!!!! Paw patrol always seems to be on in my house. To the point where the other night, me and hubby had been watching Stranger things and it had freaked us out a bit so when we turned off Netflix, paw patrol was on and we may have watched an episode of it to take our mind off of the scariness 🙂

  8. I honestly had no idea that I was so amazing at multi-tasking. Us mums certainly are multi-tasking divas 🙂 I agree with all your points and when I saw the GIF for no. 8, I just thought: yes, right now please! Alison x #coolmumclub

  9. Yes, they definitely ring true, ah the leftovers, which my eldest son can’t stand, and just moans at, oh no not leftovers. I have definitely got the ability to do things at hyper speed too, especially a house tidy these days. #coolmumclub

  10. What is it with the bras and the not washing? I’m exactly the same! But yet my top will go in the wash every night without fail because wearing a t-shirt two days in a row is unthinkable. Bra however? Hang it on the bedroom radiator (to help the bacteria breed or whatever) and whack it back on the next day… and the next… and the… (Oh Dear God I need to have a word with myself!) x #coolmumclub

  11. Yup all of these plus patience!! OMG I never knew I had the ability to be so patient with someone who is driving me to distraction with their carefree dithery-ness. I might be saying “Yes I know dolly is sad because her arm fell off but right now we really need to get our shoes on Poppet” but inside I’m screaming “JFDI!!!!!” #coolmumclub

  12. Oh you are truly hilarious! The sniff test on a bra! The shaky shaky after no loo roll – what have we become? Where is our dignity/ What have we been resorted to becoming? Just all too familiar for my liking! #coolmumclub

  13. HAHAHA wearing the same bra, this made me laugh out loud! We went away on holiday last week and I had literally packed one bra, and I have no clue as to when it was last washed!! Boobs don’t sweat…do they?! So funny! #coolmumclub

  14. You made me laugh Tayla, thankyou! I relate to this, the tension, the fast speed (maybe the fast speed causes the tension, I dunno? ), the bra. Before I had kids I imagined my self in heels, pencil skirt, red lipstick, holding baby casually on one hip – no, no, no and no…… Xxx #coolmumclub

  15. Fast is my middle name! In fact, sometimes I wonder if I might actually go forward in time I’m always rushing everywhere! Just call me speedy…
    Brilliant post as always Talya #coolmumclub co-host of dreams 🙂 xx

  16. Hehe. We sometimes freeze our leftovers and then when it comes out, we call it “Freezer surprise”. It’s the russian roulette of the culinary world because you never know what you’re going to get until it’s defrosted!

    Also the one about being OK with everything made me smile. I don’t even flinch anymore when an entire cup of blackcurrant squash is knocked to the floor. #coolmumclub

  17. Love this – so funny and so true, especially the coffee one! My eldest now sometimes asks “are you grumpy Mummy? Do you need coffee?” which makes me chuckle. It’s amazing the way that parenthood can change us in ways we never expected, isn’t it? 🙂 #coolmumclub

  18. I love this! I especially relate to the leftover one (made me chuckle… totally became leftover Queen!!) and the ‘me time’ one! I used to hate baths but now I LOVE them!! <3 #coolmumclub

  19. You’re so right Talya! From recycled bras to superhero-Ninja kitchen moves – man we all have so many talents and new habits as mamas! Love hanging out with the #coolmumclub

  20. God being a Mum changes you so much it’s ridiculous!! I’m not very crafty though I have to say. I do grin and bear that part. A bit soppy but I wasn’t prepared for how much love you feel. But yes to all the others!! #coolmumclub

  21. Oh I love this!
    The speed thing is totally me: I run between demands by the end of the day when nursery and school have turned out.
    My husband and I looked at each other on sunday evening and realised we could probably run a successful nursing home based on the demands / blankets, / channel changes / drinks requests that our kids were coming out with!

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