A miscarriage is already physically, mentally, and emotionally tormenting for the mum. This pain makes it difficult for her to go back to her life pre-pregnancy, most especially in the work setting. If you are wondering how you will ever feel ready to go back to work after a miscarriage then that is totally understandable.
For some women, this is a distraction that can help them move on. However, many others feel like they are being pushed into normalcy even if they are not yet ready. The key here is constant communication with your physician, and boss for a smoother transition.
Take A Breather
The amount of time off after a miscarriage you need largely depends on several factors. For instance, you need to think about the kind of work that you do. Does your work involve lifting and other physically demanding tasks? If so, you need a lot of recovery time before you can return to work.
You also need to consider the type of loss. Those who had a stillbirth, c-section, or ectopic pregnancy will need a longer recovery period. Those who have experienced early miscarriage need a few days of rest to physically recuperate.
Then, there’s the company policy. There are companies that are sensitive to the feelings of mourning parents. However, not all can allow you to extend your leave. Lastly, different women have different needs or ways of coping. For this, you will need to talk to your physician to acquire necessary documents and permission for a medically-suitable period for your leave of absence.
Choose Whom To Tell
Since mums are deeply affected by this great loss, it’s natural to feel incredibly sensitive. Sadly, this can breed animosity among coworkers who do not know and understand their recent experience when they go back to work after a miscarriage
Remember that your life should not necessarily be an open book. Not everyone needs your explanation. Therefore, it is recommended that you choose the people whom to disclose this private and delicate information. The important thing is that your confidant can give you the best support, or even privately inform an irked colleague to understand you.
However, it is important that you tell your boss about your situation especially if you need more time off. You can also inform your colleagues if they already know that you were with child.
The easiest route is to just disclose this unfortunate news to your fellow workers. This is a forthright approach that causes less disputes in the office and your colleagues are likely to be extremely supportive once they know what you’re going through.
Be Kind To Yourself
It will no doubt be challenging to take on tasks upon your return because there are so many things on your mind. You will likely find it difficult to focus. Don’t beat yourself up too much when this happens. Keep a notebook at hand for your to-do list along with a good dose of self-kindness.
You can take notes to make sure that you don’t forget anything, or that your priorities can be sorted out. It is also helpful that you can see your tasks getting ticked off your list because you know that you are accomplishing something day by day.
Remember not to push yourself too much especially when exertion or force is involved. Be wary of signs of infection and over bleeding so you know if it is safe to work.
Find Support Groups
Fellow grieving parents will understand the depth of your loss so we suggest that you seek help from available support groups. Know that you are not alone in this. Many others have experienced your loss, too so they are more than capable to offer some advice and a listening ear.
If you want, you can even see a counselor who will be able to stay calm and impartial even when you break down and cry. Counselling sessions can give you enough space to deal with your loss in your own time and space.
Apart from support groups and/or counselors, you can try deep breathing exercises. These meditation techniques can help you calm down and recover emotionally.
More importantly, tell yourself that you will get through this. You will not feel this way forever.
You Are Not To Blame
Women usually feel guilt after a miscarriage. Your brain knows that it is not your fault, but your emotions tell otherwise. This is a normal process as your brain is trying to find the root of all this.
For instance, you will find yourself wondering if the miscarriage happened because you boarded a plane. Or that you shouldn’t have hiked too far, or a tonne of other reasons. Other times, you will feel shame for doing what you have done which you think caused the miscarriage. In whatever scenario, you will always end up blaming yourself for this unfortunate event. But know that it is not your fault and that you cannot manipulate the outcome.
Transitioning back to work after a miscarriage is tough so be kind to yourself. Give yourself some time to reorient. This is something that you cannot get over immediately and you will feel a varying range of emotions.
You may feel okay today and hysterical the next. Go out and take a breather when this happens. All you are feeling is normal so please be patient. Again, you will get through this.
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