Why is mum crying? Mummy it’s ok to cry

mum crying

There’s no denying that this has been a roller-coaster month – health issues, family issues, buying our first home issues, teething issues, terrible twos issues…the list goes on…and we have had this mum crying.

I am not usually one to break down and cry

but the sum of the above has meant I have done so twice this month, both times in front of my little girl.

I came from a family where tears and high emotion were a daily, if not hourly occurrence, and had vowed to create an environment of relative calm for our little girl. But we are all human – nobody’s perfect and sometimes things slip. Twice.

On both occasions, as soon as I had started blubbering, I hugely regretted doing so

…which in turn made me blubber even more!

The first time her reaction went from total what the fuck is going on, to sympathy crying, to laughing at this newly discovered game. And then it all blew over.

The second time was more heart wrenching for me because it was her bedtime – always a special time together as all parents will agree. The more I tried to hide the fact I was crying behind bedtime stories, the more the mum guilt bubbled up, the worse the crying became. As I tried not to hyperventilate we just cuddled and read through the final moments of bedtime as my daughter remained uncharacteristically quiet.

I absolutely hated myself for it

but just could not control my reaction to what had happened only minutes before her bedtime. I don’t know if or how this affected her, but couldn’t shrug the notion that it had taken her much longer to fall asleep than usual as I anxiously observed her on the cam.

Now on refection, I realize this – we all cry, it’s ok to cry

and it’s a product of a natural human emotion. While at the time I felt crying in front of my little girl was not a good thing, I realize now that perhaps, it served a purpose – to not only teach her about human emotions but also that her mum is mortal and I have bad days and moments. I came to the conclusion that it was ok to see mum crying.

What I DO regret, having been so taken aback by my vulnerable state on both occasions, is explaining to her WHY I was crying. There is a chance that on both occasions, she will have thought that my emotions were about her (because you know, with toddlers, it’s all about them right?), which couldn’t have been further from the truth.

So next time everything gets too much, and she catches mum crying, I’m going to tell myself it’s ok to cry in front of her, but just remind myself to let her in on why exactly I’m crying.

Do you ever cry in front of your children? Are you ok with it? How do you handle it? Please do share…

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  1. I do cry in front of my children. If they ask why I tell them. It is harder when they are young and do think it’s about them but we’re human after all, emotions will get the better of us sometimes. Great post. Very honest

  2. I think expressing yourself the way you feel in the moment is very important for your children. It helps keep honesty at a healthy level. They will return the favor in the future. Thank you for sharing.

    • That’s pretty much the conclusion I came to – in hindsight I’m really pleased it happened and since writing it happened a third time and I therefore knew how to make it a healthy experience….

  3. Awwww sorry to hear you have had a tough month! My baby girl is 9 months old and I have had a few break downs in front of her but the older she gets the more I try to pull myself together because she is becoming aware. Your post made me ponder though. Yes it is OK to cry and as much as we all try we can’t shield them from everything. I’m totally with you on teaching them some life lessons on emotions and shedding the light on what’s going on. She sounds like a very sweet little girl xxx

  4. I think it’s important for children to learn that it’s ok to cry and talk about their feelings, and they do that by watching and listening to the important people in their lives. Everyone has moments where things just get too much, and I think I agree with you that explaining these moments helps to show children that crying and talking are healthy responses. I hope this next month is much less challenging for you x #sundaystars

    • Thanks love, the month got more challenging towards the end so I am hoping for a better June however it has enabled me to have a chance to deal with crying in front of my little one a whole lot better x

  5. I remember crying in front of my two and a bit year old on just a couple of occasions. I cant remember now the exact cause of one of the times but one related to family illness. I don’t think I explained exactly what was wrong, but I do remember simply saying ‘mummy is sad’ and that I would feel better soon. I’m not sure she needed to know all the details but a simple explaination of what my emotions were probably helped. I do sometimes get a little teary with positive emotion too, and my voice often breaks at the end of reading ‘guess how much I love you.’ (Yes silly I know) but it means I’m not certain she would have identified when I was simply sad without me saying so. It is so hard as a parent when emotions become so overwhelming, I doubt your little girl would have been worried you were crying about her, because I’m certain that your actions and those cuddles and stories at bedtime, even with your tears, would have confirmed your love for her. So glad to have found your post on #sundaystars, not certain if I follow you on fb so just about to check out your page.

    • Thank you so much for your lovely comment – really touched my heart. As it happens the month culminated with a death in the family so I cried yet again but this time handled it much better. All part of the learning process eh. Glad you stopped by will try to look you up on FB & twitter too x

  6. We are all human and sometimes we need to cry. I think our children need to realise this and need not to be scared or ashamed of what is a very human way to release emotion. x

  7. Yes I’ve cried in front of my lot (4 of them) sometimes I just said I was sad, other times I told them why, it depended upon the situation and the age of the child, but I agree with you, it’s healthy for them to know that it is ok to cry, that sometimes you don’t even know why you’re crying, or sad. That’s how they learn that it’s ok for them to do it as they get older (I have a 15yr old boy and 13yr old girl both have emotions are all over the pace)
    Lupin Girl x

  8. Such an important lesson that we undermine as mummies because we have to be “Superwoman” all the time. I hope things get better for you. #twinkletuesdays

  9. I have done but it really upsets them. Having said that I think it is good for them to know that even Mummy has her limits #TwinklyTuesday

  10. Thank you for this reminder. I’ve had quite a few tearful moments lately and none of them are because of my daughter. I need to remember that seeing human emotion is good for her. She needs to know why Mommy has water on her face. I’m glad I found you on #TwinklyTuesday.

    • Ah bless you I hope things improve for you…these things seem to come in threes so hopefully you have had your third tearful moment and things will get brighter for you. I just read your post on #wineandboobs so hoping things will work out for you x

  11. Unfortunately I get very emotional just before my period every single month so I have been known to cry in front of my children! Sometimes over more serious life events but usually over something sad on the TV (if it’s that time of the month an advert can set me off!).
    I tell them it’s normal to cry. I tell them that sometimes people even cry when they are really happy too – I tell them I cried the days they were born out of happiness. I tell them mummy cries because she’s a bit soppy sometimes!
    I hope they know that they can always cry, for any reason, any time. I tell them it’s just a part of being human.
    I never cry and don’t give an explanation though, and I’m always (fairly) honest if I’m sad about something.
    Great post but I hope you start having an easier time soon – so you don’t need to cry!

  12. I have cried on multiple occasions. I feel overwhelmed easily, get angry and then quickly turn emotional. I think sharing emotions is OK. I see it as a way to teach kids how to handle their own emotional responses.


  13. Hi! I had a really rough year and also broke down infront of my son. I felt awful too because he´s at an age where it affected him and I had to explain why. To be honest, I couldn´t tell him the truth so I had to pretend my back was hurting, as he was so upset. I think it´s ok to let your children see you cry obviously if, as you say it´s a one off thing and not a way of life. Parenting can be tough, but it all works out in the end!


  14. Its healthy to cry and I personally think its important to cry in front of children on occasion. I am an extremely emotional person ( tbh I am literally have no emotional skin) so I couldn’t stop myself crying in front of my children even if I wanted to… but I do think that children need to see their parents have emotions to understand that their emotions are valid and are nothing to be ashamed about. It is not healthy to bottle things up 🙂

    Don’t feel bad for crying infront of your child. 🙂

    • Thanks for your lovely comment. I think it’s no bad thing to be thin skinned emotionally – better than being thick skinned and agree, they need to learn emotions are nothing to be ashamed about. x

  15. I’ve cried in front of my little girl mainly when she has whacked me too hard!! I did explain why as well. It wouldn’t worry too much but you are right, they need to learn that crying and showing emotion is normal. Any Mum’s are human too. Lovely post and thanks for linking up to #bestandworst. See you next time hopefully xx

  16. I have cried in front of my children. For starters, I’m a sucker for a soppy story. I cry at movies and feel-good news stories all the time. At a Girl Scout event, my friend and I were both crying at another mother’s story about all that her daughter, born at 24 weeks gestation, had overcome. My friend’s 8-year-old came up to us to ask why we were crying, and my friend said, “We’re just thinking about what a fighter Elizabeth is.” My friend’s daughter just said, “Well, it’s creepy to see you both crying,” and that was it.

    I allow my children to see me grieve over the deaths of loved ones. I don’t allow them to see me cry over my divorce and other things that they’re still learning to process in their own way. And I never condemn them for crying.

    Thanks for linking with #TwinklyTuesday. I hope things look up soon.

    • That really struck me about what that girl said to you about it being creepy crying…I guess that’s what happens when kids never see us cry which only points more towards it being healthy to cry in front of them. Thanks for hosting as ever!

  17. Sounds like you have gone through a lot! I’m not surprised you have cried. I think it’s good for us once in a while. I certainly have cried in front of my kids. My boy now he’s older notices more and asks me what’s wrong and gives me a hug. It’s about being true and real so I don’t think we should beat ourselves up about it x

  18. I agree that you should show children all emotions even the sad ones. It helps them to develop and grow. It is very important to explain the emotions no matter what age they are. #mmwbh

  19. Ahhhh it most certainly IS ok to cry, trust me while I was pregnant I turned into a blithering wreck and anything set me off, even my son telling me he loved me sent me into a blubbering mess!! I’m quite an emotional person but don’t often cry but I swear I’ve cried more in the last few months than ever! Lovely post and thanks for sharing it on the #bestandworst linky. Hope to see you again next week!

    Helen X

  20. I love this post because its so relatable! I cry in front of my babies a lot! I yell (sometimes) also. I jump up and down in excitement and laugh with joy. I want my babies to know that a human being has a whole gammet of emotions and whatever emotion they are experiencing is okay. When we cry we give them an opportunity to learn compassion. We feel anger- we teach them how to apologize and feel remorse and even how to forgive. No shame in showing emotions! Keep on keeping on! WHat a good Mama you seem to be!

  21. I have absolutely lost it in front of my little children in the past a couple of times – and I mean full on weeping! When it happens it has been after I have had to deal with a very stressful tantrum and its taken everything out of me and actually, it has been the one thing that has made my son actually calm down and I really believe that when they see us in that vulnerable state that they learn something really valuable as you say (and I’m not advocating this as a parenting technique or anything!) but I agree that it teaches them that we’re human too and the emotions we have don’t just stop at love and anger. Great post thanks for sharing on #thetruthabout hon Xx

  22. Oh hun it’s definitely ok to cry and life can get tough with busy schedules and way too much going on than we can cope as humans. I think each year we try to take on more and more than is possible. You definitely have your plate full. I always find I feel a little better after a good cry. Thanks for linking up to Share With Me I hope you are enjoying my blog hop and thanks for all the linky support! #sharewithme

    • You are so right, it might not be nice to cry at the time but you do feel so much better afterwards – sometimes you just need that release and it’s our way of dealing with everything when it’s all become a bit much. Thanks as always for hosting and commenting!

  23. Very honest post. I am know to be an emotional person but I tend to try and hold in my emotions around the boys. I don’t like them to see me cry but sometimes holding it all in is worse than having a little cry #MMWBH xx

  24. I try very hard not to cry infront of my eldest, he is twelve and a real worrier and it would play on his mind for days, if not weeks after. With the youngest three I cry far more often than I would like to, mainly because I feel ill or tired or they just won’t stop screaming! I do always explain why I am crying though and I think they get it. I can remember my mum crying when me and my brother were arguing as children, and it’s only now that I get it! Some days I just can’t keep it in!! Sorry you’ve had a tough month though, lots of love. xxx

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