8 weird things that happen when your toddler gets sick


Ahhh winter time..the leaves have fallen and the winds are blowing…a whole bunch of germs in our parenthood face! Households across the nation have been wallowing in a cesspit of snot, puke, flu and grime going through obscene amounts of tissues, Calpol and caffeine to prop up the sleepless nights. OK, so not that much weird about that. It happens, every winter right? But what is weird, I have noted, is some of the weird things being sick can bring out in a toddler, namely these:

  1. They swing from being insomniacs to being sleep addicts, lurching from multiple wakings, early morning calls to sleeping so late you wonder if they’re still breathing.
  2. They become experts at barfing down your top – you become an expert at catching it in your bra.
  3. They begin demanding Calpol BY NAME like some kind of toddler crazed junkie. You used to struggle to get it down their throats. Now you shudder at how freakishly keen they are for it.
  4. They begin hallucinating – my toddler actually thought my neck was a crocodile in the middle of the night. I’m not sure who was more scared – her or me!
  5. They live off air (and the aforementioned Calpol)…food? Don’t be ridiculous.
  6. They develop off the wall phobias…suddenly everything is scary…but to be fair, Mr Tumble always was…
  7. Everything you do seems to hurt them – trying to get a sock or nappy on them without it “hurting” is like trying to do the Crystal Maze.
  8. Somehow sicknesses seem to coincide with the most crazy developmental leaps. They emerge out waxing lyrical, spouting more rubbish than Kanye.

And the one weird thing that happens when you get sick? They couldn’t give a flying f***!!!!

What weird things do your kids do when they’re sick? Do you have anything else to add to this list?

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  1. Yes absolutely! Calpol becomes the source of life doesn’t it! All hail the Calpol!
    I hope your daughter is feeling much better now and you’re all through the other side now. Hope you don’t end up catching it!!
    Vix x

    • Ah we were through the other side and now back into another one – argh! I hate to give Calpol but sometimes it’s the only thing that will do!!! (more often than not!) x

  2. yes – but with quite a few of these its pretty worrying and next step is hospital so you need to be careful … personally I would rather not have any more of these experiences ! remember to check for meningitis … I know your post is humourous but you just never know with new parents if they know symptoms etc as in our day we very much all went to toddler group and post natal support group 10 years ago so were able to swap experience – very important – I do worry how many miss this. There are many many situations people find themselves in which are pretty scary.

  3. Yes, no sick days for mommies, that’s for sure. Mine decided to throw up all of the snot in his stomach from coughing so hard. That was a new one for me. Cold cleared right up after that.

  4. Ick just recovered for a really nasty bug. You’re right, our tot didn’t give a monkeys. Now my wife seems to have caught it too. Fingers crossed the tot doesn’t get it and we avoid the craziness you mentioned above.
    Thanks for linking up to #fartglitter x

  5. Hehe, I love that one weird thing that happens when YOU get sick. I don’t know what Calpol is but if it’s anything like the Pamol we get here in NZ it does look lovely, sticky and sweet – I can see why kids would love it!

  6. Ugh I hear this! My little tot has just developed chicken pox and a raging fever to boot. My big tot therefore has major calpol envy and is swooning about the house like a diva whining ” I’m pooorwy”. The joy. #coolmumclub ๐Ÿ˜‰ x

  7. Totally agree with all of this. Leo asks for Calpol A LOT! He gets really grumpy if I won’t give it to him (when he is not ill of course), very worrying junkie like behaviour. Also number 5, when he is ill Leo will not eat anything. I would add – 9. they become permanently glued to the TV and any attempt to leave the house ends in a massive tantrum. xx #coolmumclub

  8. I’ve always thought it was particularly poor form on the part of the international mother’s union not to have negotiated for some proper time off for illness in our contracts. My 2y/o grabs my phone and tells me to “call doctor” whenever he is feeling sick. Although after me thinking he had some sort of horrible recurring abdominal illness I cottoned on to the fact that he just does this because she gives him jelly beans at the end of the visit #coolmumclub

  9. Oh, ilness induced hallucinations, I remember them well….’mummy dont let the tortoise get up my leg’……wtf!! #coolmumclub

  10. Ha ha! My son had one random projectile vom the other week at 11pm. Myself and the hubby were like a well oiled machine, I sorted the boy while he stripped the bed. Boy went straight back off to sleep while we had a sleepless night worrying he was going choke on his own vom, I’m worrying about the next day and how horrible it’ll be having a sick child. What happened? He slept through and woke up fine and dandy. It was a complete mystery! #CoolMumClub

  11. Just had a run of gastro through here, so I get ya! My kid says “med-sin, mummy! MED-SIN!!” I thought I would relish her sleeping on the couch all day, but you are constantly going back and forth and umming and second guessing if it’s doctor time; plus then she woke at 3am wanting toast and a play! Aaaaaaahhhhhh!!!

  12. Oh my gosh so true! My one year old was just sick and he lost his appetite entirely! He was living off of air and very little milk. Then suddenly, once he’s feeling better, he’s eating like a madman!

  13. We have a total calpol junkie! He points to the cupboard where he knows where it is, shouting for it, even when he’s well!! My eldest takes ‘man flu’ to a whole new level… I dread even the slightest sniffle, because he literally acts like he is dying, and quite frankly, I don’t have the patience for that s**t! I have genuine sympathy when required, but I already feel sorry for his future girlfriends…!!

  14. Lol! I can’t wait for mine to become a calpol junkie! Does that make me a bad mother?! It’s just the STEALTH ADMINISTRATION phase is exhausting! love this article – hilarious – thank you for posting! #coolmumclub #dreamy

  15. Ha, ha! So true! The calpol one is especially scary and worrying. I try not to let others around us (friends/family/strangers) hear the little one demanding her calpol fix, for fear they might think that she is a total calpol junkie lol! #Coolmumclub

  16. Hahahaha. YES! Every. Single. One. Especially them not caring when you get sick ๐Ÿ˜‰ I just went through strep with my 4 year old! It was horrible. And horribly confusing. Just as you said…such weird things happen! It’s always good to laugh about it after. Thanks for the humor. #coolmumclub

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