Ahhh winter time..the leaves have fallen and the winds are blowing…a whole bunch of germs in our parenthood face! Households across the nation have been wallowing in a cesspit of snot, puke, flu and grime going through obscene amounts of tissues, Calpol and caffeine to prop up the sleepless nights. OK, so not that much weird about that. It happens, every winter right? But what is weird, I have noted, is some of the weird things being sick can bring out in a toddler, namely these:
- They swing from being insomniacs to being sleep addicts, lurching from multiple wakings, early morning calls to sleeping so late you wonder if they’re still breathing.
- They become experts at barfing down your top – you become an expert at catching it in your bra.
- They begin demanding Calpol BY NAME like some kind of toddler crazed junkie. You used to struggle to get it down their throats. Now you shudder at how freakishly keen they are for it.
- They begin hallucinating – my toddler actually thought my neck was a crocodile in the middle of the night. I’m not sure who was more scared – her or me!
- They live off air (and the aforementioned Calpol)…food? Don’t be ridiculous.
- They develop off the wall phobias…suddenly everything is scary…but to be fair, Mr Tumble always was…
- Everything you do seems to hurt them – trying to get a sock or nappy on them without it “hurting” is like trying to do the Crystal Maze.
- Somehow sicknesses seem to coincide with the most crazy developmental leaps. They emerge out waxing lyrical, spouting more rubbish than Kanye.
And the one weird thing that happens when you get sick? They couldn’t give a flying f***!!!!
What weird things do your kids do when they’re sick? Do you have anything else to add to this list?
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