Me and my body

Dear body,

We’ve known each other for 38 years this year – you know me better than I know myself, and although we have had some bumpy times along the way, one thing I know is that you have always been there for me, and tried to the very best you could for me, and for that – I love you.

I wasn’t ready for all the changes that came about when puberty hit

I didn’t know what to do with the hips and  breasts you bestowed on me, and then the period it felt like you cursed me with. It looks like I thought the sensible thing was to force you into a crop top and leggings – god help me! Oh the beauty of hindsight eh?

my body

me on the right with my sister Maya

But without those hips how would I have carried my baby?

And without those breasts how would I have nurtured her with my own milk? Ok – I still curse my period every month when it rolls around, but if it wasn’t for my period, how would I ever have become a mother? All these things I can only know now, at the grand old age of almost 38.

I have to admit – there were times when I was pretty mean to you

I probably didn’t take as good as care of you in my younger years as I should have done – with wild night outs which definitely didn’t treat you like a temple. I’m kinda wondering if this could be payback time as everything starts to shift southwards?

Its ok – you don’t have to tell me.

You were a miracle to me in pregnancy

– and thank you by the way, for actually enabling me to become pregnant so soon after my total thyroidectomy. After discovering that carcinoma in my thyroid, I have to let you into a secret – I still worry what else you have in store for me…but only time will tell.

my body

my body 2

Things definitely weren’t plain sailing after that

We battled it out against each other over hormone problems, yet you still gave me a happy and healthy pregnancy which I only know now how much I took for granted and for that I have to thank you. And thank you for being such a warrior and delivering my daughter all in one piece, with ten figures and ten toes. By the way did you see the pictures of how you looked during that? What a mess you were!!

And things didn’t get much better after that

I couldn’t believe what my eyes saw that first time when I looked at you all bare in the shower after the delivery. Folds and flaps hanging down where a glorious bump had been. A good year after that, I didn’t recognise you – everything had changed…become swollen, wrinkled and wobbly. You should see some of the videos I have knocking around of you sat there expressing milk, your excess self oblivious to the changes I observed aghast.

my body

Fast forward five years on, things are not the same

They never will be. I know the days when I could look like this are well and truly over…

my body

but the truth is…I have really come to like the new you. Yes really! The tiny little breasts, the wrinkles in your tummy, the mum bum my daughter loves to “wobble” #mumbumproblems. It’s a reminder of all we have achieved together. This dynamic duo, this sisterhood.

While we still have our moments – and we are having one of them as I sit and right this as we try to come to terms together with my newfound reactive hypoglycemia – like a grouchy old couple who can’t help getting on each other’s nerves. But it’s ok  I want to say to you, my body – thank you for everything you have done for me. You are nothing short of a miracle. You have taught me in so many ways that perfectionism is a foolish pursuit whether it comes to our bodies or anything else in life.

I promise to honour you and cherish you, folds, flaps and all for so long as I live.

my body

 

 

9 comments

  1. This is so lovely! Looking back a lot of us are so tough on ourselves and our bodies, which is such a shame. Our bodies are incredibly clever and we should try and respect that 🙂

  2. Tayla what a post ! this is for sure the best thing i have read in a long time , i had a long love hate relationship with my body but lately i have learned to accept and love it just the way it is

  3. LOVE this so much!! Our bodies go through so much and it really does take so many of us way to long to love them like we should. I have never loved my body but I have grown to respect and appreciate it as I’ve got older.xx

  4. Oh wow I wasn’t expecting such a lovely reaction to this post – thank you! To be honest I wasn’t sure where I was going with this when I started writing it but sometimes they end up being the golden ones I guess? Our relationships with our bodies can be complicated can’t they?! x

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.