Motherhood is a wonderful thing; but it can leave some women feeling as though their identity has been stripped from them. If you are wondering how to feel like yourself again after baby, then you are definitely not alone! It’s something that I struggled with so much, especially in those early days, when so much focus is placed on the child. It’s so easy to forget you ever had a social life, a career or ambitions. I have been there, and come through the other side of it. But at the time it feels like you are 10 feet down in it and that you will never climb back out!
Here are a few tips on how to get to feel like yourself again after having a baby, and remember it’s OK to give yourself permission to do these things mama….
Reclaiming your identity as a mother
- Let go of the guilt. Firstly (and most importantly), remember that it’s okay to want a life outside of your children. You can still be a great mum, and have time for personal activities too! Mother-guilt is common; in fact, apparently 90% of women experience it. Try to let those guilty feelings go. If you’re happier and more fulfilled, your child will feel the benefits.
- Beat the isolation. Being a mum can get lonely; particularly when your children are very young. This isn’t just about meeting up with fellow mum-friends during the day; it’s also about going out in the evening. Having a date-night with your partner. Watching a movie with your best friend. Even meeting up with your dad for a coffee in town counts. In short, it’s about reconnecting with the person you were before having kids.
- Embrace the new you. Often, mothers report feeling unhappy with their post-birth figures. Pregnancy can leave you with stretched-out bits, lines, wrinkles, looseness and all sorts of other features that weren’t there before. Teach yourself to regard these with positivity. This body not only keeps you alive and well, but it has also produced some gorgeous kids. That’s an achievement that deserves real recognition. Grab that bikini and flaunt it for all you’re worth – you should be proud of your fantastic body.
- Treat yourself. Mothers are masters when it comes to self-denial. Again, it’s that mum-guilt, kicking into action! There’s nothing wrong with treating yourself occasionally. A monthly facial, for example, is a wonderfully relaxing, indulgent experience, and can leave you feeling fabulous afterwards. Alternatively, buy yourself a bottle of Baccarat Rouge 540, or whichever luxury fragrance takes your fancy. If you can afford it, it’ll provide a nice pick-me-up.
- Get help. You don’t have to take on every task by yourself. If other people offer to help, let them – they wouldn’t offer unless they meant it. For example, your in-laws might be happy to cook for you once a week, or your partner might volunteer to take on the majority of the cleaning if you’re not sleeping well. Don’t see it as a weakness to accept assistance; it’s not.
- Stay active. Exercise is known to release endorphins, which make you feel happier. That’s why it’s a great idea to get active, at least three times a week. Find a sport or activity that works for you. Some people adore running, while others prefer swimming or dancing. It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it makes you feel great. Here are some tips on easing back into exercise after baby.
These small acts will go a long way in helping you to feel like yourself again after having a baby. Remember to be kind and gentle with yourself. These things shouldn’t be rushed, but you can take some small steps to help you along in the right direction.
Are you struggling to feel like yourself again after having a baby? Or perhaps this is something you have now come out of the other side of. Do share in a comment below.
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