Last week, I published 20 ways your life changes after motherhood here. But we all know it’s not just mums who are victims of this car crash – it’s Dads too. So it would be rude, and quite simply unfair, not to indulge our better halves with their own list. Truth be told, our own Daddy in residence and myself couldn’t quite come up with 20, and because we figured guys have a shorter attention span, we left it at 10…but the fact there’s only half the number of points doesn’t means life is easier for you or anything….eherm…..
So here goes, 10 ways your life will change after fatherhood:
- You used to be THE Daddy – now you’re just Daddy.
- Time to get a new car? Once it was all about sexy, now it’s all about the estate.
- Nooky used to be on tap – now it’s on a take-it-when-you-can-get-it basis and the only rides going on in this household are of the piggy back kind. Yee hah!
- At 5am, your bedroom used to be full of the dregs from last night’s houseparty, now it’s full of a screaming sproglet. For the love of sleep, who let them into the room anyway and what flippin’ time is is it?!
- You used to be a dapper dude, now you dress more and more like your Dad each day. God help you.
- You used to wake up by reading mindless trash on the Sun online, now you’re woken up with a wallop over the head with Where’s Spot? (which is probably more high brow anyway) and a bum on your head.
- Before you used to fart or burp on the sly without having to take the blame, now you’re named and shamed by your mini you as soon as soon as they’re able to. Thanks for the solidarity there, mate.
- You used to not really give a crap about anything, now you give too much of a crap about everything – you conclude that neurosis must be catching, after all.
- Before fatherhood, you could eff and blind as much as you pleased, now you’re on constant bleep watch, especially for that C word. Tsk tsk. Now where’s that swear jar gone?
- You used to love nothing more than a big ol’ messy party, now you find yourself sitting in pass the parcel wondering how life could have come to this?
If you’re a Dad reading this, what do you miss most about your pre-Daddy days? Leave a comment and offload here!