What is a mum’s erotic capital?

What mums really want for Valentine's Day

Before we start on erotic capital – let’s get this straight. I wish I had the erotic capital of the woman above. More likely I have the erotic capital of a toad.

But now let’s rewind – you may have heard the term “erotic capital” pinged about in the media of late and wondering what on earth does this mean?

Coined by a journalist called Catherine Hakim in Prospect Magazine, it’s apparently “a nebulous but crucial combination of physical and social attractiveness. ”

“Erotic capital goes beyond beauty to include sex appeal, charm and social skills, physical fitness and liveliness, sexual competence and skills in self-presentation, such as face-painting, hairstyles, clothing and all the other arts of self-adornment.”

And it’s been used by the likes of everyone from Kim Kardashian to Michelle Obama.

Yes, apparently erotic capital is just as valuable as a university degree for us women (eherm, really?).

But hang on a minute – I’m worried. Truth be told, since becoming a mum (and yes, apparently it takes us mums 18 months to feel like a woman again...errr…or perhaps maybe more!), I have a distinct feeling that whatever erotic capital I had is now firmly on the floor. I mean, surely food-stained clothes, greasy hair, a furry mum bush, withered boobs, wrinkly tummy and knickers that are probably way beyond ten years old can’t amount to much in the way of erotic capital?

After all, I can’t remember the last time a builder wolf whistled at me (not that that’s a sign of erotic capital, I’m guessing), or someone looked at me with a smidge or “hellllllo there” as opposed to contempt for a supermarket tantrum or my bumbling melted mum brain syndrome ways.

So if all these fabulous high profile ladies are just oozing with erotic capital, what does that leave us everyday bedraggled mums with? Are we just low on erotic capital, in overdraft, or do we need to perhaps take out a massive erotic capital mortgage to ever be in a chance of getting on the erotic capital ladder? Answers on a postcard please!

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  1. Erotic capital? I guess mine is 0 then. But hang on a minute from the definition, they mentioned “skills in self-presentation such as face-painting? My face-painting skills is really good, in fact, my daughter thinks I make a really cute bunny face on her. Can also do a mean Vampire face 😉

  2. Lol I had never even heard the term before reading this… But going by what you’ve said I’m going to say I doubt I have any I too have knickers older than my kid (?!) except for the few pairs I brought last year to try and send pictures to the husband that one time he was away… He laughed, they have been unused since! Oh shit, That right there, is the level of my ‘erotic capital’ lol

  3. Hahaha, oh I love reading your posts, they make me laugh! God is it really 18 months to feel back to normal?! I’m half way through…..it may take me longer! Erotic Capital is 0 here…..unless the unwashed, covered in baby snot/dribble/general slime, toothpaste down the top, along with…..what is that?? Chocolate? God I hope it’s chocolate…..I’m going to say chocolate! Panda eyes, (nope it’s not the ‘smokey eye’ effect…..in fact I haven’t worn make up in weeks…that is just from the lack of sleep!) is someone’s idea of Erotic!! Thank God my husband seems to still find something attractive about me!!!

  4. lol i have not heard about this before so I am soooo googling it now!
    be proud of your body- it was clever and strong enough to give you children!

    Love your battle scars!

  5. I’ve never heard of this term before. I do think some people have a bit of an aura to them that’s not just about appearance. I totally need to get my sexy back since having 3 kids. My day to day look is best described as dischevelled!

  6. I have never even heard the phrase Erotic Capital before, I am so out of touch these days. My son is almost two and I still don’t feel back to normal, I am always so knackered and dishevelled these days x

  7. I’d never heard this phrase! Yes, I fear mine is low since having kids. Who am I kidding – it was always low! I am now very concerned, however – has Brexit crashed my erotic capital even further?! Has the pound devalued it?! (Lucy/R is for Hoppit)

  8. I’ve never heard the term ‘erotic capital’ before, so thanks for enlightening me! I’ve just had a baby so mine must be at an all time low, lol!

  9. Erotic capital? I don’t know, it just feels like another way for women to be judged on their looks and yet again on the terms of men. It doesn’t feel very empowering to me!

  10. I feel old, I have never heard of erotic capital. I have to say though, from reading your post I think that I must have misplaced mine, ha ha! xxx

  11. […] What is a mum’s erotic capital – I think I might have the erotic capital of a toad! How about you? […]

  12. I’ve never heard this term before but I’m pretty sure my erotic capital fell out when I had a baby! Do you think it may return if I do some shopping to buy some clothes to make me feel sexual again? Worth a try maybe….#coolmumclub

  13. This is the first I’ve heard of this this new fangled coined phrase. First of all, I look at this semantically with my English teacher head on and i’m amazed that the high profile women that you mention are using it and promoting it. Surely it carries the wrong connotations and becomes yet another measuring stick to beat self-conscious women (and men) with. Are young girls supposed to start investing and saving in order to one day mature their capital investment haha?
    Either way, this was a really interesting post that both made me smile and think!
    Potty Adventures

  14. Erotic Capital???? I have zero Erotic Capital and I am clearly very overdrawn. Oh no, does this mean the Erotic Capital Bank Manager is going to be chasing me down and demanding I get my sexy swagger on? We are talking three years in my case, and I still don’t feel like I have my capital. :-/ #coolmumclub

  15. How do we go about applying for said erotic capital mortgages? On the road to returning to work and in an attempt to get mine back I’m just making myself sad lol! your post made me smile though!! Thank you #coolmumclub

  16. Erotic capital, what a phrase, I didn’t know what this post was going to contain, worrying slightly that it would be something of the risque variety 😉 I’m getting my hair done on Saturday for the first time since giving birth, my head is filled with hair commercial type images- in reality, no hairdresser can fix the regrowth at the front where it fell out! Haha maybe I’ll gain some points after Sat? Here’s hoping! #coolmumclub

  17. *Still laughing* OMG – really? I’m so glad it’s not just me who’s been living under a rock and never heard of this before. Can it be minus zero? If so, mine’s around -43. Bad times. Great post lovely! Thanks for hosting #coolmumclub Xxx

  18. Urgh everything about this is so depressing (not your post obviously, just the concept!)
    Someone needs to tell Catherine Hakim it’s 2016 FFS! I’m guessing there’s no male equivalent? There we were thinking growing and keep alive humans counted towards our worth and all this time we should have been concentrating on self adornment. Sorry, will stop shouting now- this kind of stuff just makes me SO MAD! And breath #coolmumclub

  19. I’d never heard this term before, so thank you for enlightening me. It sounds incredibly high maintenance to me and anything associated with those awful Kardashians – I’m happy to give a body swerve! Alison x #coolmumclub

  20. I’ve never heard of the term erotic capital and after reading the definition I’m now actually cringing! Ha! I so fit in with your description…maybe there should be different levels of erotic capital for different stages in our lives. Maybe sleep deprived snot ridden mums can score points for showering and brushing our hair? I put mascara and blusher on this eve for a meal out – I’d like 3extra points for that effort please! #coolmumclub

  21. I was walking home from school the other day (2 kids in tow) and a guy wolf-whistled me. I quietly whispered, “idiot” under my breath (knowing full well I was looking very bedraggled and red-faced from pushing the pram), but then the guy cycled past me and it turned out to be my husband. Bless him! At least HE thinks I’ve got erotic capital! #coolmumclub

  22. Oh god I hadn’t heard of erotic capital, kinda wishing it stayed that way lol. There’s nothing like 2 under 2 to diminish all capital you once had… But hey my youngest is 1 so only 6 month to go till I start to feel like me again eh 🙂 xxx #coolmumclub

  23. Oh my word! So we now have yet another marker to measure up to now! I don’t know why the world forces women to measure themselves? And ladies take a minute to consider the flip side…what is your man’s current “erotic capital”? No judgement but the unshaven, slightly manic and honestlu much softer fella who has been screaming at the football on the telly while I try to get normal life things done isnt measuring to high there either. But parenting, being a partner and life is hard work and not overly erotic. To be frank when we have the energy and desire I can still rock his world and visa versa so I will be holding a very firm two fingers up to the “erotic capital” notion. Let’s stop all the silly scales and just live x

  24. After reading the title of this post I thought a Mums erotic capital might be some kind of G-spot I hadn’t heard of?!

    Not sure where my erotic capital got to, but then again I never was good at Geography 😉

    x MMT your #coolmumclub BFF

  25. Hah!! “Massive erotic capital mortgage” ! I love it, think I need to get myself one of those. I’ve never heard of this term before and there’s probably a reason for that!! Thanks for hosting #CoolMumClub xx

  26. I have never heard of this before!I definitely need to get a mortgage for my eroticism capital, I can’t remember the last time I even felt remotely sexy. I guess exhaustion and a massive baby bump will so that to a girl!xx #coolmumclub

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