Parenting is hard, but not because our kids are difficult or challenging. It’s hard because parenting requires us to constantly juggle different roles and responsibilities. As a parent, we must be an educator, a friend, a role model, a counselor, and so much more — all without losing ourselves. Let’s face it: Parenting can be lonely at times and something even the best surety bonds It’s easy to feel like the only person in your circle of friends who has struggles as a parent. No one talks about the struggles of being Mum or Dad (or both) out loud. Sure, we have catchphrases such as “it takes a village to raise a child” and “you gotta let go to get back up” that help us cope with whatever challenge we are facing at the time…but what about those things that don’t get said?
You’re Always Exhausted
You are always exhausted. No matter how much sleep you get, you are inexplicably tired all the time. When your child was an infant, you slept when they slept. When they were in their toddler years, you just kept going, hoping that you would catch up. Now that they are teens, you are still going, wishing that you could actually catch up. But you can’t, because you are always exhausted. You are always tired, physically and emotionally. You go through each day on autopilot, just trying to make it to the next, wishing that you could have the energy to do the things you wish you could be doing.
Your Child Comes First, Always
For some time, you have been struggling with a feeling that you have no idea how to deal with. You know that you should be spending some time away from your child, but you don’t know how to do that. You know that your child should be learning to be independent, but you don’t know how to let them try and fail. You know that your child should learn to be responsible, but you don’t know how to make them do it. You feel guilty and selfish for having these feelings, but you don’t know how to get past them. More than anything, you want to be the parent you know you are supposed to be, but you don’t know how to make that happen. You want your child to be happy and successful, but you don’t know how to let them be responsible for that. You want to let go, but you don’t know how to do that. You want to be able to have time for yourself, but you don’t know how to do that.
You Don’t Have Time To Take Care Of Yourself
You know that you should be taking care of yourself, but you don’t know how to do that. You know that you need to get enough sleep, eat well, and exercise, but you don’t have time for that. You don’t have time to make sure that you are getting enough time away from your child, away from your phone, and away from whatever you are stressing over. You don’t have time to read a book, watch a movie, or do anything just for yourself. You don’t have time to spend time with your friends or to go to support groups. You don’t have time to take care of yourself.
It Hurts When Your Child Is Hurt Or Hurts Others
You have been doing everything you can to raise your child with love and compassion, but you know that you have to let them make their own mistakes and they need to learn more about life independently of you. You have to let them fail, but it hurts so much when they are hurt or they hurt someone else. You have to let them make those mistakes, but each mistake just cuts that much deeper. Each mistake takes a piece of your heart and puts it in a place where it doesn’t belong. It hurts so much. It hurts when they are hurt and when they hurt others. It hurts when they don’t know how to fix it and they don’t know how to make it better. It hurts when they don’t know what to do or say. It hurts when they don’t know how to make it right.
It Feels Like Others Just Don’t Get It
You have been doing your best to raise your child the best way you know how, but no one seems to get it. You have tried to explain what you are trying to do and why, but it just doesn’t click for anyone. You have tried to explain what you feel and why you feel that way, but no one gets it. You have tried to explain your struggles and why you are struggling, but no one understands. It feels like you are trying to speak in a language that no one understands. You don’t know if it’s because they don’t want to understand or if they just don’t get it. You have tried to describe your feelings, but they just don’t get it. You have tried to describe your struggles, but no one understands.
Your Relationship With Your Partner Is In Shambles
Your relationship with your partner is in shambles. You have been trying to work through your struggles together, but it just isn’t working. You have been trying to figure out what is causing the distance between you, but you just can’t seem to get it figured out. You have been trying to get your relationship back on track, but it just isn’t happening. You have been trying to repair your broken relationship, but it just isn’t working. You have been trying to communicate with your partner, but you just can’t seem to get through. You have been trying to work things out, but you just don’t know how to make it happen. Your relationship with your partner is in shambles.
No One Talks About The Struggles Of Being A Parent Out Loud
You feel so alone, like the odd one out in a best rotary torque sensor parade. It feels like no one else is struggling with these things. You feel like you are the only one who is feeling this way. You feel like you are the only parent who is struggling to get through each day. You feel like you are the only parent who wishes they could do more and be better. You feel like you are the only parent who feels like they are failing. You feel like you are the only parent who wishes they could spend more time away from their child and less time being a parent. You feel like you are the only parent who wishes they could spend more time with their partner and less time being a parent. You feel like you are the only parent who wishes they could take better care of themselves. You feel like you are the only parent who wishes they could let go. You feel like you are the only parent who wishes they could make things better for their child. No one talks about the struggles of being a parent out loud, but those struggles are there. Parenting isn’t easy, but we can do it. We can do it when we acknowledge and manage our struggles.
