Life is strange. One day you are at a park with your parents, who are teaching you how to ride a bike, and the next you are ready to leave the nest and conquer the world.
Then, in the blink of an eye (or what it feels like), your parents are now old, older than they ever were, you realise, and need you to take them to doctor’s appointments and help them around the house with tasks they managed on their own just yesterday.
And then it hits you – you are your parents’ keeper. It’s not easy becoming a parent to those who taught you everything you know, but it happens more often than not.
“This change in the natural order of things can be difficult to accept and your parents may be stubborn at first, but it’s important that you talk about the changes that are taking place. If you feel it’s best, you could ask a psychologist or therapist to mediate this initial conversation,” recommends Neil Mckenzie, home expert and director at Halton Stairlifts.
The expert has put together 6 essential tips to help you provide the best support for your ageing loved ones, ensuring their comfort, safety, and well-being in this new chapter of their lives.
1. What do your parents need?
When you realise that you’ll be needing to step up and start providing some home care for your parents, the first thing to do is evaluate their physical and emotional needs. This includes their medical conditions, mobility limitations, and activities of daily living such as bathing, dressing, and eating.
If you are already attending medical appointments with your parents, they may have given you information regarding their specific requirements. If not, you should consider consulting with healthcare professionals for further insights.
“The most important thing to do, and many people overlook this, is involving your parents in the discussions about their needs and preferences. Needing your help doesn’t mean they’ve stopped having preferences and desires. Make sure they feel respected and heard, maintaining their independence when possible”, observes Mckenzie.
2. Create a comprehensive care plan
Once you’ve assessed their needs, it’s time to create a thorough care plan outlining how those needs will be met.
This plan should include schedules for medication, meal preparation (as there may be dietary restrictions and recommendations to follow), medical appointments, and social activities. It should also include who will be responsible for each task.
The home expert suggests sharing the tasks with other family members around, when possible, in order not to overwork yourself.
If you don’t have relatives nearby, you should assess if you need professional help. This may not be the case right from the start, but if you start feeling burdened and without time to look after your own physical and mental health, it might be time to consider your options.
3. Make home modifications to improve mobility and safety
According to the NHS, around 1 in 3 adults over 65 and half of people over 80 will fall at least once a year, and while most of them don’t result in serious injury, it can cause the person to lose confidence to move around inside and outside their home.
“Home modifications can significantly reduce the risk of accidents and provide more independence for your parents around the house,” explains Mckenzie. “Installing grab bars in the bathroom—especially in the shower, as the combination of wet floors and soaps can increase the risk of falls—and a stairlift (for homes with stairs) are two significant adjustments that can boost your parents’ confidence in themselves and in their motor skills.”
4. Invest in the use of technological gadgets
Luckily, we live in a day and age where there are many technological devices at our disposal. Embracing them can greatly improve your parents’ independence.
Voice assistants, like Amazon Alexa or Google Home, can help both you and your parents with daily tasks, such as setting reminders for medication, calling friends and family, and playing music. If you or your parents have smart home devices, such as robot hoovers or coffee makers, the voice assistants can also help control them.
The home expert points out that another great gadget to have around, especially if you don’t live in the same house or city as your parents, is a smart camera. You can install them in different rooms to be able to check in on them remotely—some cameras even have a two-way audio system, allowing conversations.
“If you are planning on buying or installing any of these devices in your parents’ home, always have a conversation to explain how these gadgets can help both of you and to confirm if they are comfortable with having them around”, reminds Mckenzie.
As people grow older, it unfortunately becomes natural to lose relatives and friends and start isolating themselves, which can lead to depression and cognitive decline. Staying socially active can help your parents avoid feeling isolated, providing emotional support at a delicate time for them too.
Mckenzie suggests teaching your parents how to use the voice assistants or other gadgets to stay connected with distant relatives, and encouraging them to participate in social activities, such as a book or knitting club.
“If you manage to motivate them to take part in activities that exercise not only their social side but also their physical side, like dance classes or pilates, even better. This way, they strengthen their muscles, helping to increase their mobility and preventing falls, and work on their social side.”
6. Be prepared for emergencies
Accidents and emergencies can happen at any time, but anticipating and being prepared for unexpected situations can mitigate the possible negative outcomes.
Keep a list of emergency contacts, medical information, and create a plan for what to do in case of an emergency. If they have a voice assistant at home, create shortcuts that can be used in a moment of urgency.
Make sure you discuss this plan with your parents beforehand so that everyone is on the same page and knows how to act if the worst happens.
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