There is one area in which I feel highly inadequate as a mum – patience. I am seriously, SERIOUSLY, lacking in this quality. Fair enough, none of us are born with patience – all we need to do is to look at our little impatient cherubs to reaffirm that fact – but I don’t think I have cultivated much of the virtue over the years either.
Parenting requires a huge amount of patience, and while it’s true that every parent loses his or her patience – my lack of patience seems to be an inner struggle not on a daily, but an hourly – or sometimes minutely – basis.
I look at other mums at playgroups in awe and envy as they emanate perfect zen-like patience vibes as their little one has yet another meltdown over seemingly nothing. I look at my partner who has the most amazing level of patience and tolerance for everyone and everything, having had no choice but to wait for everything in his early years and then later, having been nagged to within an each of his life by a Tiger mum; and I feel like every parent’s best friend in their parenting toolkit – patience – completely forgot to pay me a visit.
Inside, I am boiling over at the Nth ‘MUMMMMMMMMMY!!’, the Nth whinge of the hour, the Nth time that doing ‘something nice’ together has been met with constant whining. All par for the course with toddlers, but I just don’t seem to have the programming in me to deal these aspects well or efficiently.
And the most ridiculous thing about it all? Apparently when my toddler is having an impatient hissy fit, she looks and acts just like me. Oh dear. Now if that ain’t karma, I don’t know what is.
But why am I so impatient? It’s not like I’m in a particular hurry…or at least any more than other mums. Seeing as we’re not born with patience, I’m not sure I can put it all down to genetics. However, a fiery Mediterranean temperament probably isn’t the best start. Mix that in with an upbringing with parents who definitely didn’t get etched in my memory as patient, and there’s the beginnings of a perfect short circuit recipe.
However I am hopeful that patience can and will be learned. Especially hopeful because we all know we have to be the person we want our child to be. I speak to other mums who say that their patience has got less and less with each child. Well, I’m hoping that seeing as I started out rock bottom, that the only way on the patience scale is up. If my patience is destined to get worse with another child, then that’s one sure fire way of inching my partner and I further towards the one child is enough theory, or at least, as he would see it.
Patience levels are currently at an all time low after having been hauled down below zero and smeared across the floor after a very long week of illness – and quite frankly, a no longer sick child still acting like a sick child is patience testing worthy for even those more saintly than I.
I very much hope that I am visited by the patience gods soon, or that my I am eventually subjected to such a great amount of patience testing behaviour that soon the seeds of my own patience will take root, grow and flourish throughout the household.
In the meantime, if anyone has some patience I could borrow and perhaps pass down to my little one, that would be very much gratefully received!
If there are other impatient mummies out there, please holler!