Sometimes, I’m not the mum I want to be, and I know for sure I’m definitely not the mum I thought I would be. I have my failings, my limitations, my flaws, my vulnerabilities.
I am not as patient as I would like to be, and often lose my rag at the most ridiculous of things because I wasn’t able to put a lid on my irrational, inherited temper.
I am not a crafting goddess, and quite frankly sweat bullets during the making of the most simplest of creations, and can often be found losing my sanity during its making.
I am not the mum who takes it all in her stride, that makes this motherhood thing look like water of a duck’s back, who doesn’t ever beat herself up, who lets her kids fit in around her, and who seems to emanate “I got this” from every pore in her skin.
And I am not the mum who has been able to birth a whole brood, because truth be told – I have struggled with the seismic shift of just having the one child.
I’m not her mum, the Pinterest mum, the Insta mum, that mum over there on Facebook, or the mum that anyone probably thinks I should be.
But I am the mum who muddles through giving her 110% with all her flaws in tow.
And I am the mum who loves so deeply, as deep as the earth’s core, and who feels every step in this journey of motherhood so keenly.
And I am the good enough mum, who always did what she thought was right at the time.
And I AM the only mum that my daughter needs, and when those times when my shell seems to shatter around me, and I’m exposed in all my vulnerability, the only mum I am….to her, is still the best mummy in the world. And that’s all that really matters in this motherhood thing, isn’t it?
How often do you feel you’re not the mum you want to be?
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