Is your teen moving school and feeling anxious about the move? Perhaps your family is moving overseas – for example to another country like Singapore with its flourishing expatriate community and multicultural, inclusive social environment. Or you could be moving to another town because you want to gain access to a better state secondary school. Whether you are moving to another country and moving your child to an International school like high-performing Stamford American International School or something closer to home, moving to a new secondary school is a big deal for a teen and you will need to help your teen adjust to a new high school wherever it may be.
No matter how welcoming the destination, however, the experience of moving to a different city is challenging for most adolescents to navigate. For many, adjusting to a new high school is frequently one of the hardest parts. It’s common for teens to struggle with acclimatizing to a new everyday schedule, leaving behind old friends, and forming new peer groups. Teens may also face challenges in their academic and extracurricular activities as they contend with unfamiliar standards and routines.
It’s totally normal for your teen to feel a little lost both academically and socially when they’ve just started at their high school. The following useful strategies can help your teen adjust to a new high school, ease their transition and set them up to thrive in their new environment:
Listen to Their Concerns
Major life changes are difficult for anyone, and children and adolescents are likely to find them especially painful. The last thing your teen needs is for you to minimize or invalidate their distress. Avoid telling them that they have no reason to worry about how they will adjust to a new high school, that they’ll fit in right away, or anything similar to imply that your move isn’t a big deal. Doing so will only alienate them and make them reluctant to open up to you or come to you for support.
Instead, encourage your teen to express their true feelings and validate these whenever you can. Assure them that you understand how difficult it is for them to leave their old home, school, and friends behind. Ask questions about big concerns like dealing with new teachers or trying out for co-curricular clubs. Try to offer them a balanced perspective that recognizes how challenging moving can be while also remaining open to the exciting new opportunities a new environment can bring.
Research Their New School In-Depth
Not knowing what to expect is often a major source of anxiety and fear for students who are about to enter a new school. Conversely, gaining a clear sense of what the environment at their school is going to be like may help your teen approach the move more comfortably and confidently.
To help your teen adjust to a new high school, learn as much as you can about the school your teen will be attending before the academic year officially starts, and encourage your teen to do so as well. Help them find out how big the school is, what it looks like, what classes it offers, and what extracurricular activities are available to students. Most Singapore schools keep well-maintained websites that offer abundant information on student life, so these will likely be good places to start your research.
If at all possible, it may also be a good idea to introduce your teen to a few people with firsthand experiences of their new school. Meeting fellow students before their first day, for instance, can help them settle in more easily. Talking to guidance counselors and teachers and even visiting the school grounds for a preliminary tour may also be helpful.
Help Them Maintain a Healthy Social Life
Your teen will probably find it challenging to make new friends in an environment where they don’t know anyone, and they may have an even harder time if they tend to be a bit more introverted. To help them adjust to a new high school, help them figure out a plan for meeting and connecting with new people. Try talking to them about what clubs, sports teams, and other co-curricular activities they might be interested in, as these often create lots of great opportunities for students to socialize.
Instant messaging and social media will make it easier for your teen to stay connected to friends from back home, whether you’ve moved to Singapore from just across the bay or from halfway around the world. Encourage your teen to maintain their old friendships, as doing so can also work wonders for their well-being and happiness. Discuss strategies for keeping in touch, like setting aside particular times of the day to chat or scheduling weekly video calls.
Support Them through Academic Difficulties
The transition to high school is already bound to be challenging for any student. New kids who are still familiarizing themselves with academic routines, practices, and standards that they aren’t used to will likely have an even harder time. If you notice your teen struggling to keep up with schoolwork, ask how they’re doing and listen non-judgmentally to their difficulties. From there, you can figure out ways to ease the academic adjustment for them, such as by setting aside time in the evenings to help them study or signing them up for private tuition.
While starting over at a new school in an unfamiliar city can feel devastating for a teenager, the right support system can turn this major life change into a positive and ultimately fruitful experience. At every turn, the key is to show your teen that you have confidence in their ability to adjust to your family’s new circumstances. It’s up to you to remind them that with a little hard work and a can-do attitude, they can build a happy life wherever in the world they end up.
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