When parenting doesn’t come naturally….

parenting doesn't come naturally

It’s something we’ve all been led to believe…that as humans put on this earth to procreate, that parenting comes naturally. Yup, you’re just expected to whip up that new baby in your arms and know exactly what to do…..But the truth is, while some elements of parenting come naturally, many others might very well make you feel like the most inadequate shambolic state of affairs in this land of parenthood which might very well lead you to surmise that errrrrr……parenting doesn’t come naturally, well at least not always.

Those of you who follow my blog will probably know already that I would say from my experience that hell, parenting does NOT always come naturally. But to help others who might feel that parenting is not coming naturally to them for whatever reason, I’ve asked fellow parenting bloggers to share their experiences on this too:

Natural….or rubbish?

I found that first time round I didn’t feel like a natural mother, I just felt rubbish. This might be down to it being a very traumatic birth where I felt I failed her as I was unable to give birth to her “naturally”. Then she wouldn’t breastfeed and again I felt I had failed. I struggled to decipher what her cries meant and generally felt like I was failing at being a mother. However, I now realise that the way I was feeling was completely natural and that it is what a lot of first time mums feel like. Second time round I felt natural because I felt more confident in my role and my abilities . – Island Living 365  

What now?

I often sit in the middle of the living room thinking ‘what the hell am I supposed to do now?!’ Sometimes I feel great about being a parent but a lot of the time Google is my best friend. – Me Him The Dog And Baby 

Natural? Nope, it’s hard

I honesty thought I’d be a natural but I find it so so hard. Every day I remind myself that they are just kids, and I need to give them the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes I pray for 7pm to come just so I can be “me”, then I feel bad that I haven’t enjoyed the whole day!! – The Unsung Mum 

Feeling like a misfit

I find the social side of parenting hard and it doesn’t come naturally to me at all. I’ve always been a quiet person and keep to myself, but I’ve forced myself for the sake of my daughter to get out and socialise at baby groups and even at the park for her. I still feel as if I’m not a good parent as i don’t fit in. – Rachel Bustin 

Earth mother what?!

I thought I’d be full on earth mother, homeschooling, craft goddess, home baked cakes kind of mum. Turns out I’m more of a stressed out, tv on, shouty, fishfingers too often, like my space sometimes type!  – Pink Pear Bear 

Feeling naive…

I was 18 when I had my eldest and I was so young and naive and just though motherhood would come naturally to me. I didn’t at all, I had no idea what to do with her and did not feel like a mum at all. Luckily I had my own mum on hand who done everything for the first few months and showed me how to be a mum myself. By the time I had my second daughter at 29 I felt totally different and motherhood came easy. – Newcastle Family Life 

Surviving the pain of monotony (or not)

It definitely didn’t come naturally for me and I had the added bonus of my son having severe learning disabilities. The often monotonous days really are a strain and the inability to be truly spontaneous I find quite a challenge. – Living With a Jude 

Having your own is VERY different to loving children!

I thought I would be a natural, I felt very maternal pre-children and loved spending time with children. However, having my own was VERY different. I found it much harder than I thought I would just to deal with daily parenting. Even now, with 4 children, I don’t feel it comes naturally. I question every decision, and beat myself up about mistakes I have made. I think comparing myself to others is my biggest downfall! – My Family Fever 

Naturally? Nope!

I hadn’t even held a baby before I had my first, let alone taken care of one for 24 hours each day!! I had assumed it would come naturally to me and I think realising that it didn’t was a huge surprise. – Five Little Doves 

Have you found that parenting hasn’t come naturally to you? Or perhaps you are a parent-to-be and wondering whether parenting will come naturally to you? Do share in a comment below…..

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