What a time to be alive! Life is uncertain, unpredictable and constantly changing. Life will not go to plan all of the time. The majority of us have not experienced this constant change more than now with the extraordinary and challenging time of wearing masks, hand sanitisers and social distancing!
Constant change: Uncertainty is the only certainty
It’s tough for many. Some people have lost their job or worried about how there going to pay the bills. Some are worried about their health or loss of a loved one. Some do not know if sending their child to school is the right thing to do or are missing seeing friends or family. An endless supply of worries, problems and concerns. Being able to keep going with inner strength and courage during a difficult or challenging time is not easy. It can feel virtually impossible to do, but something more achievable if you understand yourself and become self-aware.
How does self-awareness help with adapting to constant change?
Self-awareness will help you to navigate your way through life with more ease, be able to look out for warning signs if you’re beginning to go off track, and help you to become more loving and compassionate with yourself and others.
On autopilot
The majority of us do not know that we’re living unconsciously — on autopilot. We’re conditioned from our childhood, culture and surroundings. We do the same things over and over again with no or little awareness — same routine, same thoughts, same feelings, same actions and no surprise same results. That’s okay if your life is going well but what if it’s not?
What if you’re struggling to get a job or can’t stop worrying?
What if you can’t lose weight or control your spending?
What if you can’t get over the loss of a relationship or you can’t communicate with your partner?
What if you are always stressed or feel unhappy?
Then self-awareness is the place to begin. Looking inside rather than outside for the answers is the key.
Constant change & getting to know yourself
The only place to begin is where you are right now and below are a few areas to consider if you want to improve, change or create a better life for you and your family.
1 – Self-Talk
Criticising (we are our worst critic), judging, self-sabotage, worrying, overthinking, not feeling enough is how many of us live — and many of us don’t know we’re doing it. Our negative self-talk can be beyond belief, and this impacts how we feel, our behaviours and ultimately affect our results in life. With awareness, you can begin to change these repetitive thought patterns, as often shining the light on these thoughts can start the process of diminishing their power.
Listen out for what you say about yourself when you see your reflection in the mirror or how you speak to yourself when you do something wrong—all clues to what you could begin to change.
2 – Reactions
In your day to day life, how do you react when things don’t go your way or not to plan? Do you get wound up quickly or frustrated? Do you blame others or sulk?
What about when you are in a traffic jam or a train is delayed?
What about how you’ve been dealing with the pandemic?
How about when you receive an unexpected bill or your child is playing up?
Jot things down in a journal – all patterns can be changed with awareness, commitment and new action. You cannot control anything except how you react.
3 – Feelings
How do you feel right now? How do you feel in general — high or low energy, sad or happy? What do you usually do when you feel sad? Eat? Drink? Cry? Call a friend?
Get to know how you’re feeling – check in as regularly as you can. Is there a thought which has got you worried? Are you too busy thinking about the future or the past? All clues to how you’re feeling right now. Be aware your feelings follow thoughts.
4 – People
How do you get on with people in general? Do you blame others? Are you judgmental? Do you gossip, moan and groan? Are you easily drawn into other people’s drama? Do certain people get on your nerves? Do you have a problem saying no or asking for help? Do you give too much?
Again jot things down – see if there’s a pattern. Our relationships can be our greatest joy and our greatest pain!!
5 – Social Media/news
Do you spend lots of time on social media or watching the news?
If so, how do you feel when scrolling feeds or listening to the breaking news of the day?
Are you always commenting and comparing? Are you judging? Does this affect your mood or energy level?
Be honest and jot things down throughout the day on how you’re feeling, thoughts, reactions to people, news and social media, and anything else you think is important.
Warning – this is not an opportunity to judge your judgments. Observe as if you were another person.
You will not have to do this for long – as the majority of our thoughts and reactions are habitual – the same as yesterday and the day before. We get into a loop, and this is why so many of us don’t change, we become stuck in a cycle and have no awareness why our life is working or not.
Adapting to constant change: You get to choose
Ok, so let’s fast forward a little you’ve now got more of understanding of yourself. You now realise there is a ton of work to do — don’t worry, we all do!
The power is with self-awareness you now have a choice;
- Reminisce about how great life use to be, or make a step towards creating the life you truly desire?
- Spend time and energy going over how terrible someone was to you ten years ago, or let it go?
- Think about the pandemic and end up feeling anxious all day, or take precautions and do something constructive with your time?
- Spend time judging and comparing your life with others on social media and end up feeling not good enough, or do something which is going to improve your life?
- Spend another day thinking about how terrible your childhood was and feel unhappy, or work on making the next part of your life amazing?
- Feel betrayed by a loved one and go over the past yet again, or work towards forgiveness – for you not for them?
We’ve all been there, done that got the T-shirt. Wasted far too much of our time thinking, worrying, wishing things could have been different in many situations. Generally, our minds are in the past or the future and both places where we do not have any control. The place where we have power is right here, right now and this is important to remember when your mind is off on a wander.
So the next time you find yourself losing the plot, overreacting, feeling low, wondering why things never seem to change, or find your hand yet again in the biscuit tin or opening up a bottle of wine – consider doing this;
HIT the pause button – take a deep breath and reflect for a moment. Think about these things:
- Can I control this?
- Am I blowing this out of proportion?
- Am I worrying unnecessarily?
- What could I do differently?
- What choices do I have?
By answering these kinds of questions, this will begin the possibility of change — ultimately to change your life for the better.
THINGS TO REMEMBER
- LIFE IS UNCERTAIN AND UNPREDICTABLE
- JOT YOUR THOUGHTS, FEELINGS AND REACTIONS DOWN
- SELF-AWARENESS GIVES YOU CHOICE – STAY AS YOU ARE OR MAKE A CHANGE?
- WHEN YOUR MIND GOES FOR A WANDER BRING IT BACK TO RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW
- HIT THE PAUSE BUTTON – TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND REFLECT FOR A MOMENT
ABOUT THE NOT SO PERFECT MUM
Teresa is the author of the forthcoming book “I should have bought a puppy; Parenting with heart, honesty and humour.” Connect with her on Instagram and Facebook.
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Love this article! Sometimes we as moms need to hit the pause button, life gets stressful but this too shall pass! Thanks for a great read!
This new normality, due to the pandemic, I really hope is temporary. It is normal for life to undergo changes that cannot be controlled and you have to get used to, but in this case I really hope we can overcome it all. Go beyond.
Motherhood is so fluid. as long as we maintain our peace. This article is a reminder of the importance of self care!
I am certainly feeling the same way, as a mother of 3 and under postpartum recovery for 2 months now it isn’t easy and I feel like I couldn’t handle everything anymore. Your tips is truly a life saver, I needed to be reminded of all these things regardless of uncertainty. Thanks so much!
You made very valid points in your post. I have anxiety and depresion, it has been under control for years now, but this time has broth up so much stress and negativity it was hard to handle sometimes.
This is a great read. I have been looking for my “old self” the happy, energetic old self. I don’t know where it went. The “me” now has depression and get easily frustrated. When that happens, all I want to do is sleep, hoping that when I wake up, things will be better. Medication does not seem to work. But I pray and pray a lot for this pandemic to end.